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Loose Gannon

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Those vicious, traitorous bastards in the elite Liberal media have gone too far! Now, they’re trying to smear Talon news reporter Jeff Gannon just because he has appeared on a male porn site advertising himself as a gay escort.

Have they no shame?

Of course, when I say smear, I mean almost totally ignore. With the exception of a couple of mainstream news outlets, the media has run almost nothing on the sad case, and, even then, it was buried in a small article in the back. But, this is almost as good as a smear; they should be putting the full force of their editorial integrity behind supporting Gannon from the four or five Liberal blogs that are out to destroy him.

Did I mention vicious bastards?

So, the true agenda of those who would support “equality” and “understanding” has finally been exposed: homophobia. They object to a gay man asking questions of the President. Well, maybe they don’t understand that Jeff Gannon is a “good” gay man. He’s not the sort who goes to parks to have anonymous sex with others of his ilk, or has homosexual orgies in his apartment.

No, Gannon has seen the error of his ways. He has abstained from gay sex for…well, since the scandal broke, and he is currently seeking forgiveness from god for his sick, vile, disgusting lifestyle. If god is willing to forgive him, surely it falls to no man to condemn him? Why, I expect that he will be engaged to a charming young woman in a matter of days, and that they will go on to raise eight healthy, happy, hetero children.

Sure, his pictures can still be found on gay Web sites. He is still described as “8 inches, cut” and still charges $200 an hour. It’s a contractual obligation, okay? Jeff, like all true Americans, believes in the sacredness of a contract, unlike some godless Commie bloggers that I could name, but don’t want to sully the airwaves with.

And, what do they have against Talon News, for god’s sake? Any newsgathering agency that is named after a part of the American eagle, well, you just know it’s a good, patriotic organization. Would they rather it was called “Bear Fur” News? Oh, yeah, I can just hear the godless laughter now.

Sure, Talon News is funded by a right-wing Texas billionaire. So, what? Can news agencies only be run by ghetto kids from blue states, now? Or, limousine Liberals like…umm…well, whoever runs the biased, hate-filled, traitorous liberal media.

You know, baiting the liberal media just hasn’t been the same since Ted Turner retired.

It’s not bad enough to call Jeff Gannon gay, the liberal media now wants people to be outraged by the idea that he was a Republican plant in the press corps. They must be suffering from attention deficit disorder, because, if they weren’t, they would know that the White House buys favourable coverage of its policies from journalists outright – it doesn’t need to pussyfoot around with fake news organizations and homos masquerading as journalists!

And, what would be wrong with the President wanting to shape the news to fit his government’s agenda? In case you hadn’t heard, there’s a war on, moron – the niceties of peacetime society – like a free press – well, they’re just not going to stop a terrorist cell with nuclear capabilities, now, are they? Hell, if the President wants to fill the press corps with loyal minions, only a traitor would deny him the right in these treacherous times.

And, if he wants to leak classified documents to some of those minions, well, that’s even more of his right. Oh, sure, technically, it’s illegal. But, I would have thought that Abu Ghraib and Gauntanamo showed where this government stands on the la-di-da legal niceties. War – remember? And, if leaking a document helps destroy an enemy (read: outspoken critic) of the administration, well, that will help the war on terrorism be over that much more quickly.

Remember: they hate us because of our freedom. Freedom to shill for the government for an obscure, probably fake news agency while having a secret life as a gay hustler is enshrined in the American constitution. Really. Right next to your right to grow obese eating nachos and cheese and watching reality TV. Take away these rights, and we might as well all go live in Saddam Hussein’s hidey-hole.

I wish the America-hating liberal media would understand that.

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