by ELMORE TERADONOVICH, Alternate Reality News Service Film and Television Writer
On paper, a television series about an internet troll who only trolls other internet trolls should be a winner. But who uses paper any more?
The creators of the television series Poindexter, apparently.
The title character is a forensic cybercrimist; his job is to investigate serial reputation killers who viciously attack people online, usually ending in a nasty dox job. Doxxing is what happens when personal information (such as names, addresses and shoe sizes) about a…person is made public. Doxxing can lead to protests outside the doxxee’s home or place of business, death threats and, in extreme cases, halitosis of the spleen.
Even as he dispatches evil doxxers, the other cybercrimists in the Silicon Valley police station where he works start investigating incidents that can be traced back to him (and they don’t even need onion paper, which is good because see lede paragraph). Over the course of the series, this leads Poindexter to take increasingly extreme measures to cover up his tracks; in season four, for example, he creates the online persona of Mimi Manischevits, a kindly old lady who, since retiring as a member of the emergency tactical press response team for Kanye West, breeds stoats in her spare time, to throw his colleagues off the scent.
Stoats have a strong scent. Even online.
At first, Pointdexter might seem to be a hero, since he directs his evil impulses towards people whose behaviour is even worse than his. However, as the series developed, it became harder and harder to distinguish him from the doxxers he dispatched, and discerning viewers (all three of us) began to wonder if the series wasn’t glorifying the behaviour it appeared, on the surface, to condemn.
There was also the practical matter of Pointdexter investigating a new serial doxxer every few episodes. How many doxxers could Silicon Valley hold? Okay, quite possibly more than were portrayed in the nine seasons of the series. Apparently, it’s a popular pastime with poorly paid tech company employees. Still, as Aristotle (Moishe Aristotle, my third cousin) truly wrote, “It is better to have a believable implausibility than to drive hot spikes into your eyes just to relieve the ennui of existence.”
There may have been some difficulties with translation from the original Brooklynese, but the point is clear: the volume of cases strained credulity. And strained credulity cannot be cured with the generous application of painkillers.
The problems with the series continued with the cast. Anthony Michael Hall, as Poindexter, gave a performance so interior you would be forgiven if you thought he had auditioned for the role of the Cretan labyrinth. Granted, doxxers tend to be cold-blooded as they go about destroying people’s lives, but Hall’s affect was so low you could be forgiven if you thought it was a mining company.
As the series progressed over the seasons, the plot twists became more and more implausible. For example, in the seventh season it was revealed that he had written a book with his sister Carlotta – a romance novel, no less! Did not see that one coming. Or appreciate it when it arrived. This plot turn further strained the credulity of many long-time fans, and strained credulity is not something that fits easily into a sling, no matter how generously you have applied the painkillers.
Most egregious (an eponym – not the name of the original Ant-man – for Greg of Bludshott, a 12th century monk who was notorious for making manuscripts so ornate that their actual text could not be read) was the final episode of the series. With various authorities closing in, Poindexter flees to Canada, where he grows a beard and takes an entry level job at a data mining company.
Are we supposed to believe that this is atonement for his behaviour? Because, while the beard doesn’t suit Hall at all, it seems like a small price to pay for the havoc he has wreaked throughout the series.
Poindexter is an attempt to portray the pernicious (and not a dragon rider in sight! They’re probably too afraid of having their names dragged through the mud) effect of social media on public discourse. The point would have been better made if the series had been.
H…how did that photo of me getting Boston cream pie all over my shirt go viral on Instagrammar? And why is it headlined, “Enemy of the People Gets His Just Desserts?”
Please don’t doxx me – I’m just the messenger!