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Headlines Were Too Lazy to Change the Channel

Concern Is Just Panic’s Younger, Less Handsome Brother


“‘A source of concern, not a source of panic'”

Toronto Star


Are You Kidding? Given The State Of My Short Term Memory, I’ve Already Forgotten This Headline!


“Forget what you know about buying a ring”

Toronto Star


What Could Possibmz Hp Xspoh?


“Ukraine’s Goal: To Be World’s Crypto Capital”

New York Times


Isn’t It Also About, You Know, Guns?


“Gun control is about our border, youth programs”

Toronto Star


This Is Like Shutting The Door After The Infected Horse Has Entered The Barn


Ottawa eyes new border measures
Stricter testing, quarantine rules to be announced, sources say, in effort to slow Omicron’s spread”

Toronto Star


We’re Already Experiencing The Worst Of Five Years Ago
How Many Worsts Do We Have To Travel Through Before Arriving?


“Act now to avert the worst”

Toronto Star


Sam Raimi Must Be So Proud


“CLASSICAL MUSIC
Brought back from the musical dead”

Toronto Star


Publishers Argue That’s Okay Because Nothing Newsworthy Ever Happens To People Of Colour


“Survey shows Canadian newsrooms lack diversity”

Toronto Star


So Many Teachable Moments, So Few Attentive Students…


Parents fear blurred lines at school
Only three GTA boards revealed the number of unvaccinated staff still working with students”

Toronto Star


NATO Demands That Putin Ease Up On The Vodka Martinis


“Putin Demands That NATO Pledge Not To Allow Ukraine To Join”

New York Times


How Will Talk About Frank Advance My Romantic Interests?


“Frank talk will help you get serious with woman”

Toronto Star


That’s A Good Thing, Because We Certainly Won’t


“Ukrainians will fight for their land”

Toronto Star


Only If The Data Contains 47% Fewer Calories


“Better data means a healthier Canada”

Toronto Star


But Where Will People Go When It’s Gone?


“Lingering outhouse has got to go”

Toronto Star


Unless He Is My Enemy, Too
Relationship Math Is Hard!


“The enemy of my enemy is my friend”

Toronto Star


Of Course They Can! They Are Adults With Autonomy Over What They Can Do With Their Bod – Wait, You Did Say Self-strangulate, Didn’t You?


“Immigration consultants can self-regulate”

Toronto Star


Our AI Overlords Will Come Bearing Song Lists And Wikipedia Links


“Imagine if Siri could better talk to Google”

Toronto Star


I Hate To Quibble With Your Good Intentions, But…


“An insult to real victims of hate crime”

Toronto Star on Jussie Smollett’s conviction of staging an anti-gay, racist attack on himself

“Calling tree fire a ‘hate crime’ insults all true victims of hate”


Toronto Star


Not When Global Warming Was Making Canada Livable For So Much More Of The Year!


“Canada doesn’t need new cold war”

Toronto Star


Most People Would Kill To Have A Deck In The Back


“Stacking the deck on housing”

Toronto Star


They’ve Been Learning From The Master


“Democracy Declines Among U.S. Allies”

New York Times


On The Advice Of Its Lawyer, 2022 Refuses To Answer On The Grounds That It May Incriminate Itself


“Three questions for 2022”

Toronto Star


How Can We? WE’RE ALREADY IN THE MIDDLE OF NEXT TIME!


“We must prepare for the next time”

Toronto Star


That’s 100,000 Fewer Dollars To Go To Police Harassing The Homeless, So…That’s…Progress?


Council votes to help fight Bill 21
Toronto to give $100,000 to legal fund against Quebec secularism law, urges other cities to join”

Toronto Star


Good For Him
I’m Worried That Extreme Cynicism Will Lead To Violence


“Trudeau worries ‘casual cynicism’ can lead to apathy”

Toronto Star


So That We Can Walk Into A Bright Colonial Future?


“Time to leave our colonial past behind”

Toronto Star


I Don’t Know About Anybody Else, But Having A Civilian Watch While Police Abuse Personal Information Gives Me Warm Fuzzies


“Storage of police data requires citizen oversight”

Toronto Star


The West Is Self-destructing Quite Well On Its Own, Thank You Very Much…


“No, Putin Isn’t Trying To Bring Down the West”

New York Times


…And Here’s The Proof


“There are a lot of bad e-bikers out there”

NOW


Fraser Institute’s Policies Hurt (Almost) Everybody – Let’s Call It A Wash


“Pandemic policies hurt children’s education”

Toronto Star


Give Your Body Time To Process The Tryptophans, And You’ll Be Fine

What? I WAS Talking About The Country!


“Turkey leaves empty feeling”

Toronto Star


Say What?
This Is Exactly The Sort Of Thing That Leads To The Prime Minister’s Worries About Casual Cynicism!


“The duty to remain silent”

Toronto Star

“Speak out on this law”


Toronto Star


What Was Wrong With The Old One? Bad Reviews?


“Former judges call for new review panel”

Toronto Star


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