And They’re Worse Than Anti-Green’s Totally Intended Consequences?
“‘Green’ policies have unintended consequences”
– Toronto Star
Parents With An Iron Lung Fetish Might Also Be To Blame
“MEASLES
Vaccine rates sink as cases mount
Ontario’s response hampered by lack of data: experts”
– Toronto Star
That’s One Silver Lining In The Stormcloud Of His Prime Ministership, Anyway
“Mulroney’s advice not always taken”
– Toronto Star
I’m Pretty Sure “Add More Immigration Judges” Was An Option
It’s Right There Under “Go For An Early Lunch And Hope The Problem Is Gone By The Time You Get Back”
“‘We had no options’
How a surge in asylum seekers and changing migration routes led to Ottawa’s move to reimpose visas on Mexican travellers”
– Toronto Star
And Boy, Are They Cranky
I Don’t Think They’ll Settle For What’s In Your Pic-a-nic Basket In This State
“Ontario’s black bears are waking up early”
– Toronto Star
The Visible Beat Cop Is A Toy No Child Needs!
Imagining Donut Pulp Travelling Through The Digestive Track Is…EWWWWW!
“A transparent police force is just fantasy”
– Toronto Star
Now Every Street Is Maple Street
“The monsters have arrived”
– Toronto Star
A New Episode Of Frasier Is About To Air, And People Want To Livestream Their Criticism Of It
“Why People Fail To Notice Horrors”
– New York Times
Like, Be A Getaway Car For Bank Robbers?
Some Vehicles Are Nothing But Trouble!
“He’s 19 and he’s head over heels for his little Italian car
‘My Antonio has character. I’ve driven other cars but they feel like machines. The Fiat feels like it wants to go do things it wasn’t supposed to'”
– Toronto Star
It Does Have Drawbacks, Though:
For One, You Have To Supply Your Own Basketball
“SUN-KISSED IN TURKS AND CAICOS
In this dreamy destination, you’ll find an island you’d happily be stranded on”
– Toronto Star
They Killed All Of Your Previous Friends And Family?
They Convinced You To Join A Cult?
Don’t Leave Me In Suspense, Here!
“Birds of a feather
How the strangers I met while on vacation became my most supportive and longest-lasting relationship”
– Toronto Star
Or More Vigilance Against Government Overreach
“Measles cases show need for vaccinations”
– Toronto Star
A Corporate Loss Won’t Heal If You Picket
“Companies decry ‘anti-scab’ bill
Federal legislation criticized for threat to productivity, while experts say that’s part of bargaining”
– Toronto Star
Every Time A Streetcar Is On Schedule, An Angel Gets Its Wings
“Sometimes traffic miracles do happen”
– Toronto Star
As Opposed To Hockey, Which Is Designed To Break Your Jaw
And Basketball, Which Is Designed To Break Your Bank Account
“Baseball Designed to Break Your Heart”
– New York Times
And Unfavourable States
And Bodies Of Water
And On The Moon…
“Haley fell short in favourable states”
– Toronto Star
Nobody Wants Them To Run Except The Voters
“Biden, Trump inch closer to rematch
Rivals dominate Super Tuesday races despite concerns over age, lack of broad appeal to voters”
– Toronto Star
People Are Easily Distracted
“What I learned by talking in front of an audience, naked”
– Toronto Star
I Do Not Believe That Word Means What You Think It Means
“Mother to mother
Neither sister-in-law could get pregnant. Now both have daughters. Their story is almost inconceivable”
– Toronto Star
Conservative Leader’s Selective Mime Routine Does Not Always Serve The Party Well
“Ukrainians cast warning to Tories
Trio of MPs told at Etobicoke town hall that Poilievre’s silence on issue will cost party at polls”
– Toronto Star
The Death Of Democratic Hope, On The Other Hand, Was Cold-blooded Murder
“Russia says Navalny died of natural causes”
– Toronto Star
Everybody Knows Somebody Who Has Suffocated To Death From Lack Of Law and Order
“‘ART OFFERS BENEFITS AS NECESSARY AS OXYGEN’
Yes, live performing arts have taken a hit.
But no, they’re not dying”
– Toronto Star
If I Was Her Lawyer, I Would Advise Her To Divorce Him Now Before E. Jean Carroll Gets All Of His Money
“Melania Trump missing from Donald’s Super Tuesday victory party, sparks marital woes concerns”
– Page Six
They’re Not Like Our Male Experts Who, You Know, Have Actually STUDIED The Issues
“QUEEN’S PARK
Female MPPs seek apology
Group was denied time to speak about International Women’s Day”
– Toronto Star
Homeowners Can Be As Dense As Osmium When Property Values Are Threatened
“How dense is too dense?
Proposed tower in Liberty Village sparks residents’ opposition”
– Toronto Star