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Headlines – Waddya Gonna Do?

If It Happened Today, Republicans Would Use It To Paint Democrats Using The Fear Of Terrorism To Promote A Communist Agenda While Tucker Carlson Conducted A Fawning Interview With Osama bin Laden


“9/11
‘Is this how we treat heroes?'”

Toronto Star


Send Your Astral Spirit On A Quest To The Estee Lauder Dojo


“How do I keep my makeup mojo alive when I have nowhere to go?”

Globe and Mail


Whether I Give In To Temptation And Have That Piece Of Chocolate Cake


“One week to go.
What will tip the balance?”

Toronto Star


Potential Female Readers Asking Themselves The Same Question


“The dubious lies we tell ourselves
Novel uses age-old dynamic between a powerful man and younger woman to ask: Why?”

Toronto Star


When At Least One Of Your Children Has Roman Numerals After Their Name


“When does it make financial sense to hire a nanny?”

Globe and Mail


Convince Them To See An Optometrist


“The friend I like wants to wait and see. Should I move on?”

Toronto Star


You Didn’t Even Acknowledge The Canadian Election, So…


“Is the German Election The Most Boring Ever?”

New York Times


No, It Needs A Stake And Some Garlic


“Does your relationship need ‘a pulse check’?”

Toronto Star


One Prowls Dark Alleys Looking To Buy Drugs, The Other Gets Them From The Shopper’s On The Corner


“Good vs. bad debt, what’s the difference?”

Toronto Star


Absolutely! I Always Take A Powder From The Gym Before Working Out


“Do you really need to take pre-workout powders?”

Toronto Star


Not According To My Heart Specialist


“Room to grow?”

Globe and Mail


Whatever Opens Businesses Fastest


“What is the threshold to reach COVID herd immunity?”

Toronto Star


Trypanophobics? Don’t Call Them That! Do You Want Them To Protest At Your Home?


“Could many anti-vaxxers just be trypanophobics?”

Toronto Star


Not If Businesses Are Willing To Pay Workers A Living Wage


“Are loafers in style again?”

Toronto Star


Not With The Cannabis You Get At Government Sanctioned Outlets, That’s For Sure!


“How do you make a great chicken pot pie?”

Globe and Mail


The Conservatives’ Loss Will Be The Proud Boys’ Gain


“Will election loss mean end of O’Toole as leader?”

Toronto Star


Those Of Us Who Don’t Lose Them…


“COVID is here to stay, so let’s get on with our lives, shall we?”

Toronto Star


It’s Due To A Rabid Beaver Infestation


“How come no one says ‘because’ anymore?”

Toronto Star


I Try, But My Anxiety Always Manages To Squirm Out Of It


“Can you harness your anxiety for good?”

Toronto Star


But I’m Only 61 – I Barely Just Got Here!
(And Whatever Happened To The Idea That You Can’t Take It With You?)


“Is your ‘go bag’ ready?”

Toronto Star


I Consulted That Famous Political Philosopher, Jerry Seinfeld, Who Responded, “Yadda Yadda Yadda”


“Was the election really ‘about nothing’?”

Toronto Star


Absolutely! Now, It Won’t Work Twelve Per Cent More Efficiently


“Parliament wasn’t working. Will vote change anything?”

Toronto Star


Negotiating With Blackmailers (Which We Never Do…)


“What did it take to negotiate detainees’ release from China?”

Toronto Star


We Ran Out Of Virgins


“Canadians, what became of sacrifice for the greater good?”

Toronto Star


The Flip-top Impotent Rage Monster Kind…But It’ll Soon Pass


“What kind of COVID-19 craziness is this?”

Toronto Star


Put A Space Heater On The Ice Floe


“How can families best help their elderly parents?”

Toronto Star


We Have No Idea, But We Were Running Short On New Angles On The Election, So…


“What would election results be with ranked voting?”

Toronto Star


Sure, But All You’ll Get Is A Press Release About Its Latest Products


“Can you ask a business if its staff have been vaccinated?”

Toronto Star


It Is For David Brooks


“Is Self-awareness A Mirage?”

New York Times


Women Have Played Defence For Far Too Long
It’s Time For A Female Offence Minister!


“Is it finally time for another female defence minister?”

Toronto Star


Virgin Grasshoppers


“What shots should be prioritized for kids?”

Toronto Star


It’s Better Than Eating Off Paper Plates Every Night


“Should we invest in China or not?”

Toronto Star


Why The Liquid Is So Critical Of My Life Choices


“What do you not get about water issues?”

Toronto Star


More Like Galoots In Cowboy Boots Without Parachutes


“Is this a return to the tyranny of suits and commutes?”

Toronto Star


Nobody Wants Naked Servers Around Their Doughnuts
Nobody


“Why has Tims forsaken coffee for clothes?”

Toronto Star


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