Skip to content

Headlines Didn’t Ask, But Got Told Anyway

Sure! And, I Hear It’s A Great Cure For COVID, Too!


“Can I drink collagen for better skin?”

– Toronto Star


Political Bravery

We Could Be Waiting A Long Time

A Looooooooong Time

A Very Long Time


“Vaccine mandates work. What are we waiting for?”

– Toronto Star


Parliament Will Be Boring Until The People’s Party Of Canada Elects Some Members


“Why would anyone want to change the electoral system?”

– Toronto Star


Men Have A Monopoly On High Fives


“Why do women face gossip when it ends?”

– Toronto Star


It Became Irrelevant When Holmes Went Off Rickenbacker Falls


“What Happened To IBM’s Watson?”

– New York Times


In-laws Have Notoriously Thin Skins When It Comes To Snarky Comments In Balloons Over Their Heads


“A pop-up wedding? Sure, why not?”

– Toronto Star


Sure: Shuffle The Decks And Find Somebody Less Complex


“Should I move on from my ex who refused sex?”

– Toronto Star


You Know What They Always Say: Two Vuongs Don’t Make A Wright
Okay, Maybe Nobody Has Ever Said That, But They Will Now!


“Why did Liberals wait so long to repudiate Vuong?”

– Toronto Star


To Lower Expectations


“Kids routinely vaxxed, so why raise objections?”

– Toronto Star


Six Of One…


“Is a four-day work week a high-five model?”

– Toronto Star


It Depends On How Much Inflation Turns Them On


“How soon will interest rates rise?”

– Toronto Star


Leo: Time To Let Go Of Mystery That Happened Before You Were Born


“Is Zodiac finally cracked?
Or is supposed breakthrough just another red herring?”

– Toronto Sun


That’s The Beauty Of Our Politics: One Party Leader Is Out Of Touch With The Lives Of Ordinary Canadians, The Other Doesn’t Care About Them


“Will Trudeau get serious on inequality?”

– Toronto Star


Bacon
It’s Magical


“How do I win back a friend of 30 years?”

– Toronto Star


If They Do It Nicely…


“Can police ask you to sign away your right to protest?”

– Toronto Star


Are You Kidding? Dead Soldiers Beat Live Indigenous People Any Holiday Of The Week!


“Would PM ever vacation on Remembrance Day?”

– Toronto Star


Bicycle Tire Inflater
(I Was Going To Say Drench Them In Syrup And Let Nature Do The Rest, But That Would Just Be Cruel…To The Squirrels)


“How do I get rid of crepey arms?”

– Toronto Star


Dumb As Glurg Barggle Duuuuuuuh


“How dumb can a nation get and still survive?”

– Washington Post


They Like Leeches – Leeches Work For Them


“Do anti-vaxxers distrust all modern medical care?”

– Toronto Star


Sorry – I Did Not Intend To Comment On The Opening Of The Border
I Cannot Control When My Eyes Do That


“The border is opening. But should you cross?”

– Toronto Star


The MPP Meant Well


“MPP made a liar of Ford, so why should we trust him?”

– Toronto Star


A Little Thing We Like To Call Eminent Domain…


“Why would owners of Hwy. 407 be willing to sell?”

– Toronto Star


Umm, Just About Everybody, Including All Major Publishers


“Who says you need an agent?”

– Writer’s Digest


It Got Crushed In The Soft Drink Wars


“They hoped for a new orange wave. Why didn’t it happen?”

– Toronto Star


Put The Money Towards Having A Second Meal A Day


“How can I reduce investment fees, taxes?”

– Toronto Star


Not Until You Asked – Thanks For That!


“Worried about microplastics?”

– Toronto Star


It’s Better Than Having To Deal With Them On Earth


“Why do we celebrate the ultra rich going into space?”

– Toronto Star


Absolutely! If We Elect Enough, The Country Could Get To Full Employment!


“Does Canada really need more members in Commons?”

– Toronto Star


Your Most Conniving Relatives Find A Way


“What happens if you die without a will?”

– Toronto Star


Seventy Years Of Steps Back, One Step Forward


“Whither the future of the Conservative party?”

– Toronto Star


Can You Have Babies With Your Car?
Technology Is Evolving Way Too Fast For My Taste!


“At long last, I am in love. Is it time for a baby?”

– Toronto Star


Why? Has It Dropped In The Annual University Funkadelic Ratings?


“Has Laurentian University ‘lost its soul?’”

– Toronto Star


Because The Econometric Models Say You Will, And Who Are You To Argue With Math?


“Why support business that don’t support our safety?”

– Toronto Star


I Refuse To Answer That Question On The Grounds That It May Impoverish Me


“Which of your pandemic benefits will Ottawas get rid of?”

– Toronto Star


Leave a Reply