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Headlines Didn’t Ask, But Got Told Anyway

Sure! And, I Hear It’s A Great Cure For COVID, Too!


“Can I drink collagen for better skin?”

Toronto Star


Political Bravery

We Could Be Waiting A Long Time

A Looooooooong Time

A Very Long Time


“Vaccine mandates work. What are we waiting for?”

Toronto Star


Parliament Will Be Boring Until The People’s Party Of Canada Elects Some Members


“Why would anyone want to change the electoral system?”

Toronto Star


Men Have A Monopoly On High Fives


“Why do women face gossip when it ends?”

Toronto Star


It Became Irrelevant When Holmes Went Off Rickenbacker Falls


“What Happened To IBM’s Watson?”

New York Times


In-laws Have Notoriously Thin Skins When It Comes To Snarky Comments In Balloons Over Their Heads


“A pop-up wedding? Sure, why not?”

Toronto Star


Sure: Shuffle The Decks And Find Somebody Less Complex


“Should I move on from my ex who refused sex?”

Toronto Star


You Know What They Always Say: Two Vuongs Don’t Make A Wright
Okay, Maybe Nobody Has Ever Said That, But They Will Now!


“Why did Liberals wait so long to repudiate Vuong?”

Toronto Star


To Lower Expectations


“Kids routinely vaxxed, so why raise objections?”

Toronto Star


Six Of One…


“Is a four-day work week a high-five model?”

Toronto Star


It Depends On How Much Inflation Turns Them On


“How soon will interest rates rise?”

Toronto Star


Leo: Time To Let Go Of Mystery That Happened Before You Were Born


Is Zodiac finally cracked?
Or is supposed breakthrough just another red herring?”

Toronto Sun


That’s The Beauty Of Our Politics: One Party Leader Is Out Of Touch With The Lives Of Ordinary Canadians, The Other Doesn’t Care About Them


“Will Trudeau get serious on inequality?”

Toronto Star


Bacon
It’s Magical


“How do I win back a friend of 30 years?”

Toronto Star


If They Do It Nicely…


“Can police ask you to sign away your right to protest?”

Toronto Star


Are You Kidding? Dead Soldiers Beat Live Indigenous People Any Holiday Of The Week!


“Would PM ever vacation on Remembrance Day?”

Toronto Star


Bicycle Tire Inflater
(I Was Going To Say Drench Them In Syrup And Let Nature Do The Rest, But That Would Just Be Cruel…To The Squirrels)


“How do I get rid of crepey arms?”

Toronto Star


Dumb As Glurg Barggle Duuuuuuuh


“How dumb can a nation get and still survive?”

Washington Post


They Like Leeches – Leeches Work For Them


“Do anti-vaxxers distrust all modern medical care?”

Toronto Star


Sorry – I Did Not Intend To Comment On The Opening Of The Border
I Cannot Control When My Eyes Do That


“The border is opening. But should you cross?”

Toronto Star


The MPP Meant Well


“MPP made a liar of Ford, so why should we trust him?”

Toronto Star


A Little Thing We Like To Call Eminent Domain…


“Why would owners of Hwy. 407 be willing to sell?”

Toronto Star


Umm, Just About Everybody, Including All Major Publishers


“Who says you need an agent?”

Writer’s Digest


It Got Crushed In The Soft Drink Wars


“They hoped for a new orange wave. Why didn’t it happen?”

Toronto Star


Put The Money Towards Having A Second Meal A Day


“How can I reduce investment fees, taxes?”

Toronto Star


Not Until You Asked – Thanks For That!


“Worried about microplastics?”

Toronto Star


It’s Better Than Having To Deal With Them On Earth


“Why do we celebrate the ultra rich going into space?”

Toronto Star


Absolutely! If We Elect Enough, The Country Could Get To Full Employment!


“Does Canada really need more members in Commons?”

Toronto Star


Your Most Conniving Relatives Find A Way


“What happens if you die without a will?”

Toronto Star


Seventy Years Of Steps Back, One Step Forward


“Whither the future of the Conservative party?”

Toronto Star


Can You Have Babies With Your Car?
Technology Is Evolving Way Too Fast For My Taste!


“At long last, I am in love. Is it time for a baby?”

Toronto Star


Why? Has It Dropped In The Annual University Funkadelic Ratings?


“Has Laurentian University ‘lost its soul?’”

Toronto Star


Because The Econometric Models Say You Will, And Who Are You To Argue With Math?


“Why support business that don’t support our safety?”

Toronto Star


I Refuse To Answer That Question On The Grounds That It May Impoverish Me


“Which of your pandemic benefits will Ottawas get rid of?”

Toronto Star


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