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Headlines Shoot Dingoes On Sight

Putin Orders Arrest Of All Statistics


“Statistical analysis supports claims of vote-rigging in Russian election”

– Globe and Mail


Ill-considered Headline Sparks PALE FUROR


“SQUEAK, MEMORY
How Art Spiegelman created the work that redefined the way we think about both Holocaust memoirs and the graphic novel”

– National Post


The Sheiks Are Adorable When They Stamp Their Little Feet And Shake Their Little Fists


“Arab League demands Syria put end to bloodshed”

– Toronto Star


Beautiful Plumage


“The WTO: Not dead, but ‘in a coma'”

– Globe and Mail


Christie Blatchford Scared The Shit Out Of Them
They Can Now Be Found In Windsor


“Where have all the manly men gone?
Toronto: city of sissies”

– National Post


And, Cool Is Sexy, Right? Right? In Its Own Way?


“Time names Ryan Gosling Coolest Person of the Year”

– Toronto Star


Will Make You A Mortgage You Can’t Refuse


“Mafia listed as Italy’s No. 1 ‘bank'”

– Globe and Mail


Except You Can’t Toilet Train A Dog
Or, For That Matter, Teach A Baby To Fetch Your Slippers


“Dogs and kids not all that different, study finds”

– Toronto Star


Protestors More Concerned About The Bombs He’s Hurling


“Syria’s leader hurls defiance at protesters and the world”

– Globe and Mail


Like They Don’t Already Have To Fend Men Off With A…You Know?


“Get a good whiff of this – Axe has spray for women”

– Toronto Star


Ah, Yes, I Recall It Well


“Philips recalls light bulbs”

– Globe and Mail

“J&J recalls Tylenol Cold Gelcaps”


– Globe and Mail

“RIM recalling 1,000 defective PlayBook tablets”


– Toronto Star

“Nissan recalling 51,700 Sentras
Problem with battery cable could cause engines to stall; 28,000 Jukes recalled, too”


– Toronto Star

“Ford recalls 128,000 sedans”


– Toronto Star

“Volkswagen recalls 300,000 diesel cars”


– Globe and Mail

“Honda recalls 304,000 vehicles
Air bags may inflate with too much pressure causing death or injury”


– Toronto Star

“Ford recalls 450,400 minivans and SUVs


– Globe and Mail


Does Christie Blatchford Know About This?


“Even tough men have soft brains”

– Globe and Mail


Wow! The Pope Is Really Cracking Down!


“Cardinal Foley recalled for warm heart, humor”

– The Delaware County Daily Times


The Shame Resides In Their Failure


“No shame in Canadian junior effort”

– Toronto Star


IMF’s Scoffers Remain Stable


“IMF’s coffers keep growing”

– Globe and Mail


Woman Of Kleenex, More Like


“Bachmann sees herself as ‘America’s Iron Lady'”

– National Post


Somebody’s Unclear On The Concept, Example 327


“Revolutionary ‘gave us democracy'”

– Toronto Star


Once Again, We Must Choose Between Those Who Don’t Know And Those Who Are Professionally Misinformed


“Experts, public at odds over economy”

– Globe and Mail


Aww! Now You’ve Gone And Spoiled Two Of My Favourite Things!


“HOW COOKIES ARE LIKE SEX”

– National Post


Japanese Politicians Dealing With The Crisis Not So Much


“Fukushima plant declared stable”

– Toronto Star


Unlikely To Repeat In 2012


“Layton named 2011’s top newsmaker”

– Globe and Mail


Bravo! It’s Rare To See A Newspaper’s Bias So Boldly Stated – Well Done!


“U.S. good, Canada bad”

– National Post


I Doubt It – He Is A Bear Of Little Bowel Movement, After All


“Could poo help save the High Park zoo?”

– Toronto Star


Not Hiring Assholes Might Be A Better Strategy


“RCMP banks on e-learning to instil better habits among officers”

– Globe and Mail


Oh! That’s What The Article Is About? I Thought – Well, Never Mind What I Thought!


“WEINER KEENERS
George Karpouzis couldn’t have picked a better spot for his hot dog shop thanks to hungry students from nearby schools

– National Post


More Prisons Should Solve That Problem


“Murders at 25-year low”

– Toronto Star


Asks: “So, What Is This Social Networking Stuff About, Anyway?”


“New Yahoo CEO seeks to make firm relevant again”

– Globe and Mail


He Could Part His Hair On The Other Side, For Instance, Or…Or…Or Wear Plaid!


“Justin Bieber should embrace his badass tendencies”

– The Grid


After A Headline Like That, Who Needs To Read The Article?


“Iran says it will fly its own stealth drone
Claims it will reverse-engineer captured U.S. spy plane, a feat that seems far beyond its sanctions-strapped aviation industry”

– Globe and Mail


I Know We’re Desperate For Validation, But Really?


“Canadians top for bowel diseases
Global study finds inflammatory illness is more prevalent in industrialized countries”

– Toronto Star


Always Have Plenty Of Antacids Close To Hand


“Investing secrets for volatile market”

– National Post


Weapons Give Latter The Decisive Edge


“Protest vs. government: Technology gives former the edge”

– Globe and Mail


It’s Easier To Keep Her Out Of Mischief That Way


“Future saint died at 24”

– Toronto Star


This Is The WRONG Lesson To Be Teaching Kids At Christmas


“Heir may be less popular than his brutal father”

– Toronto Star


Vow To Be More Proactive In Ignoring Environmental Disasters


“Spills wake up global regulators”

– National Post


Why Do I Feel A My Fair Lady Moment Coming On?


“Spain must turn brain drain into gain”

– Globe and Mail


Opponents To Be Thrown Into Jail Cells Gently


“Putin hints at softer approach”

– Toronto Star


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