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Headlines Hate Bedhead

Hopefully, It Won’t Be High Impact, Resulting In Permanent Brain Damage


“PM on collision course over doctor-assisted death”

– Toronto Star


Oh, If Only I Had A Balk For Every Time Spellcheck Messed Up A Headline!
Or, Even The Bulk Of Times!


“Toronto, Peel buck at lifting of restrictions”

– Toronto Star


The Pandemic Pretty Much Killed Its Business Anyway


“Cineplex not scared of streaming services”

– Toronto Star


The Leaders Of Canada’s Three Main Parties Could Be A Law Firm: Yutz, Putz and Schmendrick


“The ethics of Trudeau: He can be a real putz”

– Toronto Star


We Just Spent The Last Four Years Watching A Leader Who Makes Bold, Difficult Decisions – Do You Think You Could Rethink That Idea A Little, Bill?


“Seven steps to save the planet
Government policies can play a leading role in addressing climate change, Bill Gates writes. It’s time for leaders around the world to make bold, difficult decisions”

– Globe and Mail


They Could Definitely Use Some Political Senokot


“The GOP is a party in need of a purge”

– Toronto Star


More Contracts Are Confused For Toilet Paper There Than In Boardrooms


“This portable toilet is no place to do business”

– Toronto Star


Elephants Never Ask For The Return Of Defective Products


“Ikea recalls more furniture on safety risk
Retailer pulls 3-drawer Kullen chest because of tip-over risk to children”

– Toronto Star

“Bonduelle salads recalled for E. coli”


– Toronto Star

“MORE MEAT PRODUCTS RECALLED OWING TO POSSIBLE E. COLI CONTAMINATION FROM TORONTO PLANTS”


– Globe and Mail

“PM to recall Parliament to approve subsidy plan”


– Toronto Star

“Fiat Chrysler recalls nearly 700,000 SUVs because of electrical fault”


– Globe and Mail

“Pause and recall the flashes of goodness”


– Toronto Star

“Defective face masks recalled from Toronto long-term-care homes”


– Toronto Star

“Time for a virtual recall”


– Toronto Star


I Know The Pandemic Has Left A Lot Of People Yearning For Affection, But…


“Right now, even coffee filters can look like an expression of love”

– Toronto Star


If The Cardboard Is More Comfortable Than The Contents, You May Want To Rethink Your Sitting Habits


“Sofa-in-a-box a new trend driven by millennials”

– Toronto Star


Some Steps Are Bigger Than Others – Almost Like Democracy Has A +2,000 Pair Of Boots Of Striding That It Often Forgets To Put On Before Venturing Forth


“Democracy often takes two steps forward, one back”

– Toronto Star

“To boost democracy abroad, we must practise it at home”


– Toronto Star


Apocalypse Is Running Late, Will Be Here In An Hour


“Serenity now”

– Toronto Star


Makes A Change From Being Rich In Spirit
Although It May Have The Same Practical Effect


“Country Mired in Poverty May Be Oil Rich”

– New York Times


Wow – My ESP So Did Not Pick That Up!


“I’m thinking about liposuction”

– Toronto Star


But, Weren’t Vaccinations Supposed To Make It Easier For People To Be Together?


“Relationship with fiance needs healing after jabs”

– Toronto Star


Traditional Podium Needs More Social Media Access


“Canada can own podium in innovation”

– Toronto Star


So’s Christma – Oh, Gord, We Aren’t Going To Have To Wait Until Then, Are We?


“Vaccination details coming, Elliott says”

– Toronto Star


They’re Worse Than Cockroaches


“Decade After Uprising, Autocrats Still Rule”

– New York Times


Teen Titans Learned That Lesson The Hard Way


“Tech titans’ arrogance led to defeat”

– Toronto Star


There’s Definitely Something Fishy Going On Here


“Bitter feud divides formerly very close Scottish leaders
Salmond was once Sturgeon’s mentor, now he’s an enemy in a fight over the handling of sexual-assault charges”

– Globe and Mail


Murdering Somebody For The Inheritance And Eating The Last Piece Of Pie Without Asking If Anybody Else Wants To Share It Are Pretty Bad, Too


“Queue-jumping is the worst kind of selfishness”

– Toronto Star


Sommel


“Trading corkscrews for Zoom
Without a conventional restaurant and tables of guests to serve and define them, what is a sommelier to do?”

– Globe and Mail


Not Revolution?


“Lower income, longer life expectancy means preparation is key”

– Toronto Star


But…Smelling Clean Laundry Is Such A Sensual Act – Are You Trying To Tell Me That TV Commercials Lie‽


“Another victim of COVID-19: Sex between couples
The forced domesticity of lockdown may not be conducive to intimacy, but relationship experts advise partners to set aside some time to connect”

– Globe and Mail


It Didn’t Work For Jeans, Why Would Anybody Think It Would Work For Justice?


“One-size-fits-all sentencing doesn’t work”

– Toronto Star


Company Apparently Tired Of Rolling Craps On Journalism


“Torstar plans to launch casino brand”

– Toronto Star


But, They Don’t Have As Much To Lose As The Rich And Powerful!


“Groups at higher risk should be prioritized”

– Toronto Star


Some Carpenters Are Better Than Others


“Ontario urged to build relief programs into pandemic framework”

– Toronto Star


“Comparisons To Foreign Countries Are For Losers,” Former American President Says


“France’s Sarkozy sentenced to jail
Former president guilty of corruption and influence peddling”

– Toronto Star


I Don’t Know About Other People, But Mine Is Being Torn Out
Admittedly, Most Of It By Me…


“Pandemic is making your hair fall out”

– Toronto Star


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