Owners Claimed They Were Defective;
Screamed Bloody Murder When Their Demand For A Refund Was Rejected By Retailers Because They Hadn’t Kept The Receipt
“Shoppers returned to retailers for holidays”
– Toronto Star
Doesn’t Expect People Will Fake Disabilities To Use Plastic Bags
Obviously Doesn’t Know People
“Ottawa to ban plastic straws, bags by end of 2022
Government will allow exceptions for medical purposes, to accommodate those with disabilities”
– Toronto Star
So…Mowing The Lawn Is Like Getting A Haircut?
Washing The Kitchen Floor Is Like Taking A Shower?
What Chore Would Help Me Lower My Cholesterol?
“Chores aren’t a bore if you think about them as self-care opportunities”
– Toronto Star
I Still Like The Idea Of Growing Younger
“It is time to re-envision aging in Canada”
– Toronto Star
It Is To To Laugh
“Governments urged to to co-ordinate policies”
– Toronto Star
My Shrink Says I Get Too Personal
I Like Your Approach Better…
“Get personal
This year, let them explore their family history”
– Toronto Star
How Retro! There’s A New Game In Town: Have You Never Heard Of Squids?
“Booster rollout is ‘Hunger Games’ all over again
– Toronto Star
Have You Forgotten Your Childhood? We All Feel That Way!
“No child should feel like an outsider”
– Toronto Star
Makes Editors Wonder Why They Bother To Read Us
“Readers know so much about everything, from history to recipes”
– Globe and Mail
If You Don’t Want To Wear A Mask, Just Stay Home
“Avoiding harassment at holiday office party”
– Toronto Star
And Miss That Exciting Three Pointer At The Buzzer‽!!!!!
“Raptors attendees asked to watch for symptoms”
– Toronto Star
Said No Economist Ever
“It’s time we empower our most vulnerable workers”
– Toronto Star
How Convenient That The United States Produced The Exact Number Of Moments To Make A Clever Headline
“A variant of the year before
The names may have changed, but the storyline was much the same as a new president faced familiar foes. The 21 moments that defined America in 2021…”
– Toronto Star
Or, Is That Exactly What Bill Wants You To Believe?
“History key to understanding bill”
– Toronto Star
Who’s The Ferking Moron Who Thought THAT Was A Workable Idea These Days?!!!
“Sensitivity needed in public sphere”
– Toronto Star
Have You Ever Met The Fashion Industry?
“Men have no say in women’s clothing”
– Toronto Star
Is It The Santa Bubba Season Already?
“Perfect gift for Santa: a truck with skis”
– Toronto Star
Just When Almost Half The Population Has Given Up On Science!
“HOW WE HEAL TOGETHER
In bleak times, science makes the case for simple kindness”
– Globe and Mail
Being Emphatically Positive A Must In These Uncertain Times
“Firearms retailers must comply”
– Toronto Star
“Ottawa must lead on drugs”
– Toronto Star
“Ottawa must step in, help our most vulnerable”
– Toronto Star
“Mental health strategies must start before a 911 call”
– Toronto Star
“Ontario must deploy rapid tests immediately”
– Toronto Star
“We must stand with Ukraine”
– Toronto Star
Eat Less
“Strategies to fight rising food prices”
– Toronto Star
Imagine How They’ll Feel When The Restrictions Become Clear!
“Travellers frustrated by unclear airline restrictions”
– Globe and Mail
They’re Still Producing Music?
“Coldplay to stop releasing music in 2025”
– Toronto Star
COVID Virus Agrees: “It Will Definitely Be A Learning Experience For Them!”
“Don’t close schools, experts urge Ford”
– Toronto Star
Then, You Woke Up?
“Levels of governments have to get along now”
– Toronto Star
I’m Pretty Sure They Wouldn’t Fit, But If She Puts A Pair Under My Chair, I Would Try Them On
“Take a walk in Oprah’s shoes and start building your wealth”
– Toronto Star
That Seems Like A Harsh Introduction To An Article On Criminal Justice Reform
“The pandemic could shift our views on animal captivity”
– Globe and Mail
The MOFO Who Has Been Promoting It So Far Will Have Strong Objections
“Don’t let FOMO influence your investing decisions”
– Toronto Star
Not Necessarily: We Can Always Rehire Workers To Fire Them Again, Business Head Responds
“Scale of layoffs unsustainable, union head says”
– Toronto Star
Do We Expect So Little Of Heterosexual Men, Now?
“Nurturing husband is probably not gay”
– Toronto Star
Distract Us From The Rumbling In Our Bellies From Eating Less
“How our government can help us eat better”
– Toronto Star
For The Littlest Conspiracy Theorists Among You
“THE BIG (SANTA) LIE”
– Globe and Mail
How Many Contexts Can A Phrase Appear In Before It Loses Its Meaning?
“Buying into the U.S. Fed’s big lie”
– Toronto Star
Mother-in-law Knew At Wedding, But Said Nothing Because She Didn’t Want To Break Her Baby Girl’s Heart
“Family man kept his crime a secret for 50 years”
– Toronto Star