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Headlines Faced Such a Short Turnaround Time That It Had To Have a Little Lie Down Before It Passed Out

The Guacamole Doesn’t Care What You Dip Into It, But Be Careful Around The Hummus


“Getting around blue chip shortages”

Toronto Star


All Of Them Shades Of Black And White


“Tory party is ‘a coat of many colours'”

Toronto Star


Now If We Could Just Get Its Brain Going…


“City’s heart beats again”

Toronto Star


Maybe I Just Haven’t Found The Right Sauce For Them…


“We need insects – it’s time to stop the hate”

Toronto Star


To Be Fair, He’s Helped Them Become Who They Are, So Why Shouldn’t He Benefit?


“Poilievre seeks supports of the angry and hateful”

Toronto Star


Expecting It To Blow Up Our Lives –
It’s An Old Yiddish Folk Saying Updated For Modern Times


“Hoping government lives up to ambition”

Toronto Star


Umm…I May Be Missing Something, But Isn’t That Kind Of The Point? Again?


“There’s no quick solution to travel delays”

Toronto Star


Government Responds, “We Gave Them A Licence Plate Sticker Rebate – What More Do The Greedy Bastards Want‽”


“COVID waves hitting same areas
Experts urge province to fund prevention, treatment strategies tailored to low-income Ontarians”

Toronto Star


When It’s Over, System Will Look Like A Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Somebody Has Taken A Blowtorch To


“Global monetary system reset looms”

Toronto Star


Storks Go With Petaluma
Pigeons Will Poop On Anybody


“Pelicans stick with Williamson”

Toronto Star


That Will Be One Pissed Off Pig, No Matter How Much Cosmetics You Use!


“Election budget needs a do-over”

Toronto Star


Disease Deniers Respond: Stop Undermining Our Delusions


“Disease experts urge: Stay masked”

Toronto Star


Has Anybody Tried Enforcing It?


“Law Hasn’t Stopped Transgender Attacks”

New York Times


More Proof Marijuana Use In Canada Is Becoming Common


“Poilievre riding high with Alberta Tories”

Toronto Star


The Short Version? “I’m Paying Attention”


“Why I’m still wearing my mask”

Toronto Star


Looking Backward Would Have Been A Disaster
Failures In Mirror Are Larger Than They Appear


“‘Moving forward’ strategy won election, Ford says”

Toronto Star


People With Jobs Better Wear Knee Pads And Brush Up On Collecting UI


“Rate hike shows bank prepared to play rough”

Toronto Star


Corporate Kaiju Are Almost Impossible To Kill


“Retail behemoth’s size is considerable advantage”

Toronto Star


Society Needs To Rethink Whole Concept Of “Disservice Animals”


“Man and dog detained after violent robberies”

Toronto Star


The Way It Jumps Out At Unwary Motorists Could Cause Accidents


“Avoid giant hogweed, Metrolinx warns residents”

Toronto Star


Tell Them They Get Fries With That


“Easy way to boost voter turnout”

Toronto Star


I Do! Whenever…You Know, Whenever It Needs To Be, Uhh, Recharged…


“Put the phone away sometimes”

Toronto Star


Unfortunately, “Pro-Thanatos” Will Go Over Most People’s Heads


“‘Pro-life’ doesn’t fit people who are against women”

Toronto Star


But As Long As He Blames Ottawa, He Doesn’t Actually Have To Do Anything About It


“Ford can no longer ignore climate change”

Toronto Star


It’s Not Addicted!
It Can Quit Any Time It Wants!
Sure, It Can
Any Time It Wants…


“Germany aims to quit Russian oil by late summer”

Toronto Star


“Don’t Get Sick Is A Plan”
It’s a Good Plan – Best We’ve Got


“We need a plan for children’s health”

Toronto Star


About Time! The War With Lawn darts Has Gone On Long Enough!


“An Inspirational Ambassador for Table Tennis”

New York Times


You Do It
No, You Do It!
I Don’t Want To Do It!
Let’s Get Mikey To Do It!


“Why someone should challenge John Tory”

Toronto Star


Oh, By All Means Plan To Retire…Just Not Until You’re 175


“Saving for retirement is becoming out of reach
Experts say economic climate may slow, but not derail, plans”

Toronto Star


“Unlike Some Highly Communicable Diseases I Could Mention…”


Vaccine strategy working against monkeypox
Ontario’s top doctor says province not seeing exponential growth of virus”

Toronto Star


They Shouldn’t Rely On Help From Local Students – They’re Confused By Paper Currency


“Foreign students may very well be confused by change”

Toronto Star


We’ll Continue Running Op Eds On The Subject Until They Stop!


“Attacks on press are not acceptable”

Toronto Star


“Sorry, I Can’t Hear You,” Rogers Responds. “You’re Breaking Up – There May Be Something Wrong With The Connection!”


“Ottawa demands telecoms be more prepared”

Toronto Star


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