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Headlines? Don’t Ask!

Yeah. Then, I Got Checked Into The Boards By Inflationary Pressure
That’s Why I Always Wear A Helmet When Investing


“Did you get faked out by soaring bond yields?”

Globe and Mail


I Hoep Not


“Can Typos Track Your Mental Health?”

Wall Street Journal


Well…If I’m Getting An Enema Anyway…


“How about an ice cold pickle Pilsner?”

Toronto Star


Why Use A Stove When I Can Make Dinner With My iPod?


“Are kitchen stoves going the way of the sewing machine?”

Globe and Mail


It Depends How Long The Lineup For The Bathroom Is


Lavscam was months ago – will it matter this election?

Toronto Sun


I Cracked A Tooth When My Motorboat Slammed Into A Streetcar


“Toronto flooded: What else is new?”

Globe and Mail


Get Your Alibi Straight With Your Accomplices


“How should I get ready for grilling season?”

Globe and Mail


By Building Her Own Echo Chamber


“How can Horwath resonate with voters?”

Toronto Star


That Seems Like A Lot Of Work To Quit My Addiction…


“Should you aim for 10,000 steps a day?”

Globe and Mail


Who Do You Need Him To Be, Dearie?


“Who exactly is Andrew Scheer?”

Toronto Star


Hit Him In The Side Of The Head With Your Fire Extinguisher


“I quit smoking, but my husband refuses to support me. What do I do?

Globe and Mail


Yay, And Unto Us His People He Gave A Great Gift


“Did Kawhi hear our cries?”

Toronto Sun


Honourary People?


“Who gets to have an honorary degree?”

Globe and Mail


Help Me! I’m Meeeelting!


“It’s the summer holidays – but now what?”

Toronto Star


A Vacation To The Riviera


“What next for Ontario’s highest-billing doctors?”

Toronto Star


Lords Larry, Curly And Moe


“Who are the select Tories who will choose Britain’s new prime minister?”

Globe and Mail


Does Anybody Ever Really Know Anybody – Especially Teenagers?


“Do we give up on knowing our grandson?”

Toronto Star


Order In


“Bake, sear, zest, how do I keep all these cooking terms straight?”

Globe and Mail


Always Asking What It Means To Be Canadian


“What does it mean to be Canadian?”

Toronto Star


Too Many Tasty Temptations


“What’s stopping Canada from solving our waste problem?”

Globe and Mail


Only If Your Name Is Renee


“I’m ready to walk away, but should I?”

Toronto Star


Are You Giving Us False Choices Again Or Are You Just Assuming That We’re Too Distracted To Appreciate It?


“Is Ford’s team corrupt or just incompetent?”

Toronto Star


Threaten To Cut Off His Cellphone Service


“How do I get my four year-old to listen to me?”

Globe and Mail


Get Up?


“I’ve fallen for someone who won’t commit. What should I do?”

Globe and Mail


Naah – What Driver In Their Right Mind Would Name Their Taxi After Him?


“Is Boris Johnson just a hack at heart?”

Toronto Star


With Oven Mitts?


“How do I handle my ugly feet?”

Toronto Star


I’d Make A Joke About Memory Here, But They’ve Been Done To Death, So Let’s Forget About The Whole Thing


“Is Canada’s dementia strategy set up to fail?”

Globe and Mail


As An “Old Mistake?”


“How do I explain my new ‘friend’?

Toronto Star


As Low As CTV? CITY? The Peanut Butter Network?


“How low will CBC TV bosses go in search of ratings and ad dollars?”

Globe and Mail


Liberals: In A Hole
Conservatives: In A Deeper Hole
NDP: In The Middle Of A Busy Highway At Noon


“Where do parties stand on research?”

Toronto Star


He Better Be Careful Or He’ll Get Burned


“Bullock’s BF back in touch with old flames?”

Toronto Sun


YOU WANT: Mildly Crazed
YOU’LL SETTLE FOR: Partially Demented
YOU’LL GET: Batshit Crazy


“Which version of Boris will Britain get?”

Toronto Star


Put That Hamberder Down And Slowly Walk Away From The Counter
ODing On Carbs Not The Answer!


“The wellness trap
Society is obsessed with healthy living trends, from green juice to meditation. But what if all this self-care is stressing you out?”

Toronto Star


Correlation Is Not Causa – LOOK OUT FOR THAT TRUCK!


“Does daylight saving time lead to heart attacks and car accidents?”

Globe and Mail


Asimov’s Three Laws


“Why do robots get so much abuse?”

Toronto Star


Get Your Paranoid Delusions Now – Avoid The Rush


“If Scheer wins, could they try to trip him up with bogus Mueller-like probe?”

Toronto Sun


STUPID QUESTIONS LIKE THAT!


“Why is everyone so angry?”

Toronto Star


That’s News To Him


“Is Andrew Scheer itching for his own war with the press?”

Globe and Mail


He Certainly Will! With A Right Hook To The Chin Of The Press!


“Will Andrew Scheer seize his opportunity to lead?”

Globe and Mail


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