Somebody’s Not Reading Their Own Newspaper…
“End of rock star era at Rideau Hall”
– Toronto Star
“Our next GG inspired a character in Love Story”
– Toronto Star
Hasn’t Toronto Suffered Enough?
“Fantino won’t rule out political future”
– Globe and Mail
Press Regrets Not Catching Her More Often
“Megan Fox regrets lying to the press”
– San Francisco Chronicle
The Absurd Ironyometer Needs To Get Its Ears Checked
Cannot Believe What It Just Heard
“Harris accuses teachers of ‘bully tactics'”
– Toronto Star
In The Sense That It Will Get Critics Off BP’s Back
“Chevron says device will work”
– Globe and Mail
Like I “Earned” My Purple Heart In World War I
“Milton pay draws flak
ACE chief earned $14.7-million in 2009″
– Globe and Mail
Sounds Like They’ve Got Our Rules Down Pat
“Chinese must play by Canada’s rules
Construction accident enquiry stonewalled”
– National Post
Not Glenn Beck…Again!
“PLANT OF THE WEEK”
– Globe and Mail
Green With Envy Will Not Be Their Predominant Colour
“Gathering world to judge Canada’s green credentials”
– Toronto Star
Just Look At The Leafs
“Out of World Cup for 24 years, things are looking up for Canada
WE ‘CAN’T GET WORSE’
– National Post
But, What If I’ve Just Started To Get Turned On?
“Dizziness, headache and nausea mean stop”
– Globe and Mail
You Have To Register To Be A Comedian In California?
State Is A Tough House
“Deputies Search For Registered Sex Offender Comedian”
– KTXL Sacramento
So…Maturity Is The Ability To Do Useless Things?
“The G20 may be useless, but the fact that we’re hosting it shows we’ve arrived
Our rite of passage”
– National Post
Headline Writer Need To Be More Careful About Noun-Verb Coordination
“Job hoppers needs to look before they leap”
– Globe and Mail
AAAARGH! I Do Not Want To Think About My Dad’s Exclusive – UUUUGGH! Thanks For Putting That Image In My Head!
“Golfers will be green with envy…
…once they see Dad’s exclusive club”
– National Post
My Dilemma: Publishing More With Less Writing
Your Dilemma: Making More Money With Less Employment
“G20 plan’s dilemma: Boosting growth with less spending”
– Globe and Mail
Give Them A Quart Of Vodka Every Hour To Calm Them Down
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
“Marijuana can send a brain to pot
Drug use can trigger psychosis in vulnerable people, experts say”
– Toronto Star
Is He Still Alive?
(Because His Dream Doesn’t Seem To Be…)
“PQ needs road map for sovereignty, Parizeau says
Too many Parti Quebecois supporters are obsessed with governing rather than preparing for independence, former premier maintains”
– Globe and Mail
They Could Try Being Not Corrupt – You Know, People Like Companies That Are…Less Than Corrupt – Just An Idea…
“Goldman needs lift to image”
– National Post
Headline Answers Own Question With Unprovable Assertion
Subhead Non-sequitur Appears To Undermine Headline
“AND IS ALL THIS WORTH IT? YES IT IS
The one thing global leaders agree on is that hosting world summits in urban settings requires millions of dollars in security measures”
– Globe and Mail
…With The Americans – They’re Nuts!
“Canada urged to stay in Afghanistan
“Karzai’s half-brother thanks Harper for past help, but pleads: ‘Don’t leave us alone’
– Toronto Star
Last Of Pure Greenspanians Found In Block Of Ice In Globe Newsroom
“Sadly, the Keynesian delusion keeps mesmerizing”
– Globe and Mail
Environmentalists Shocked, Hurt
Vow Not To Get Company Card For Christmas
“TRANSCANADA
Company dismisses environmentalists’ concerns”
– Globe and Mail
How Can I Compete?
“Daniel Robb brings humor to pillow designs”`
– San Francisco Chronicle
Well, She Would Have To To Put Up With THAT Family, Wouldn’t She?
“Queen ‘has a wonderful sense of the absurd’
– Toronto Star
Mafia Eco-activism: Don’t Leave Any Witnesses In The Marine Ecology
“Experts from Russia – and even the U.S. – are keen to try
Nuke the Gulf!”
– National Post
After We Thought They Had Caved In To Us
“Pride organizers cave in to politically correct bullies”
– Toronto Star
Families On Welfare To Lose $5,000 A Year, Billionaires To Lose $5,000 A Year – Yeah, THAT Seems Fair!
“Shared sacrifice will be the new economic order”
– Globe and Mail
I’ve Often Thought Of Myself As A Multi-tiered Wedding Cake, But, Uhh, Maybe We Should Leave My Icing Fetish Out Of This
“In the end, you’re either a cupcake or a macaroon”
– National Post
Hasn’t The Gulf Of Mexico Suffered Enough?
“HAYWARD MOUNTS CHARM OFFENSIVE”
– Globe and Mail
Somebody’s Not Reading Their Own Newspaper, Fascionalistic Post Edition…
“Play safe in summer after brutal Q2 slide”
– National Post
“It’s summer. Start spending”
– National Post