Spend It On Hookers, Booze and Cigarettes:
Greece About To Tank World Economy
“Ways to use your tax refund wisely”
– Globe and Mail
Time And Basic Incompatibility Will Take Care Of That
“Don’t let fear ruin new relationship”
– Toronto Star
It Never Falls Too Far From The Decision Tree
“Beware: Apple may have peaked”
– Toronto Star
What Always Happens When You Train Somebody To Be A Killer? He Went Freelance
“Canadians wonder how Russell Williams, a decorated and fast-rising air-force commander, can be the same person accused of murdering two young women. Searching for clues, Greg McArthur and Colin Freeze turn back the clock
THE MAKING OF A MYSTERY MAN”
– Globe and Mail
About Time A Journalist Was Brave Enough To Tell The Bed Bug’s Story!
“The other side of the bed bug issue”
– Toronto Star
Nothing New There – Now, If It Had Been A SHAM WOW Empire…
“Dumpster king’s sham empire”
– Toronto Star
Eww! Maybe If…No, Still Eww!
“Gary Coleman’s parents want his body back”
– Globe and Mail
Has Anybody Told Jim Flaherty This?
“Being on a different continent doesn’t make us immune to foreign markets”
– National Post
Can I Help It If Beer Upsets My Stoma – What? That’s Not What You’re Referring To?
“This beer could cause a rumble
Skjalfti is Icelandic for earthquake since the lager was born during an earthquake and unveiled as another hit”
– Toronto Star
Get Used To Unemployment Lines?
“Markets move in mysterious ways
When even the pros get trashed, what’s a poor investor to do?”
– National Post
Unlike The US Pavilion, Which Will Feature A Recreation Of Guantanamo Bay And Video Of Predator Drone Strikes On Civilians
“The world through a funhouse mirror
Pavilions of North Korea, Iran and other paraiah states welcomed by China to offer distorted view of life in those countries”
– Globe and Mail
Somehow, I Don’t Think The Services Include Oil, Lube And A 12 Point Inspection
“Full service schools offer more than just education”
– Toronto Star
We Take Our Cue From Ottawa
“Why don’t we intervene?
In the schoolyard or the subway, we need to stand up to a bully, not stand by”
– Globe and Mail
WHY DID WE LEAVE IT TO THEM TO DO THE PREDICTING?!
“Oil spill proves BP wrong
Rig’s owners recently predicted major impact in an offshore accident would be unlikely”
– Toronto Star
That Might Explain The Plans For Ghostbusters 4
“Dan Aykroyd embarks on a spiritual vodka quest”
– Globe and Mail
Due To A Lack Of Virgins?
Maybe This Is A More Happening Place Than People Think!
“Virgin Festival cancelled in T.O.”
– Toronto Star
Always Go With The Shyster You Know
“Beware of online stranger’s advice
Internet con artists prey on the desperate”
– National Post
Let’s Face The Music…And Dunce!
“BP tries again to cap leak as slick spreads
‘Top hat’ dome to be deployed in bid to control gushing oil now threatening Louisiana shores”
– Toronto Star
It’s Even Funnier In 48 Point Bold Type
“NORAD jets escort Vacouver flight”
– Globe and Mail
If Only She’d Stop Phoning While We Were Having Sex!
“Motherhood need not kill your sex life”
– Toronto Star
Henstein Nayan
“Who’s to blame for this surge in populism?”
– Globe and Mail
Nobody Wants To Talk To Him Face To Face
“Onion farmer is a prolific tweeter.”
– Toronto Star
The Market is Menopausal?
“What the market’s swings are trying to tell us”
– Globe and Mail
In A Week Or Two, It’ll Send Out Invitations To Its Housewarming
“Vault to contain oil leak settling in on seafloor”
– Toronto Star
The Last Good Year For Financial Predictions? 1692
“Bad financial predictions? No, just bad timing”
– Globe and Mail
Because It Takes A Lot More Effort Than Petty Negligence, And Effort Should Always Be Rewarded
“Avoid hefty penalties for gross negligence”
– National Post
They Can’t Ruin Economies With Their Current Business Model
“Why the banks fight for insurance”
– Globe and Mail
I’m Not The One With The Dirty Mind!
“Leo, jump on the opportunity”
– Toronto Star
Roly Poly? (Eat Them Up – Yum!)
“And how would you like your fish heads this evening?”
– Globe and Mail
Proving Once Again That Antler Hats Are A Bad Idea For Hunters
“Bear may have mistaken man for deer”
– Toronto Star
Good To Know Rational Man Is Still In Charge
“Trading on emotion”
– National Post
“Consumer price index could see red, some fear”
– Globe and Mail
“Currency fears push gold to highest since December”
– National Post
“Think you’re good at making rational decisions? Think again”
– Globe and Mail
“Gold falls from record on European market fears”
– National Post
“Market rout signals deepening global fears”
– Globe and Mail
“TSX DOWN AS EU DEBT FEARS REMAIN”
– National Post
“New credit crunch fears haunting Europe”
– Globe and Mail
“History shows market dips nothing to fear”
– National Post
“US shares tumble amid fears over debt”
– Financial Times
“‘Fear and loathing’ in North America
Markets roiled by persistent worries that Europe’s debt problems will hobble the economic recovery”
– Globe and Mail
“Goldman fears sink Wall Street”
– National Post
“Emotion isn’t something to fear, but to exploit”
– Globe and Mail