Death, Where Is Thy Stang?
Arnold Stang, who acted alongside Milton Berle and Frank Sinatra, has died at 91. It’s too bad that he never wrote an autobiography called Drum und Stang.
But, Not, Perhaps, In This O’Bituary
Screenwriter Dan O’Bannon has died at the age of 63. To his many fans, his life will be Totally Recalled.
In Poor Taste, But Decidedly Eco-friendly…
Yves Rocher has died at the age of 79. There is no truth to the rumour that applying a cream that contains his ashes to your face will soften wrinkles and give your skin a healthy glow.
Even Sully Sullenberger Couldn’t Save It
After a long illness, Air America has finally died. Or, given its name, perhaps crashed and burned would be more appropriate. The radio network is survived by millions of progressive Americans who are wondering, “Now, what the hell?”
Brittany’s Law
Brittany Murphy, star of such films as Clueless and 8 Mile, died at the age of 32. Everybody suspects drug or alcohol abuse except the police.
Being A World Famous Author Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry
Erich Segal, author of Love Story and Oliver’s Story, has died of a heart attack at the age of 72. He is, of course, the writer who made Al Gore the man he is today.
We All Know What Pulling A Roberts Really Means
Televangelist Oral Roberts has died of pneumonia at the age of 91. A thousand juvenile puns died with him.
In Death, As In So Many Other Things, Timing Is Everything
Grand Ayatollah Hossein Ali Montazeri, Iran’s most senior dissident cleric, has died at the age of 87 of complications due to advanced age, diabetes and asthma. Iran stepped up security as thousands of Ayatollah Montazeri’s followers marched through the streets of his hometown of Qom.
But, who cares? I want to hear more about Brittany Murphy!
Not To Sound Too Too Self-interested, But…
Paul Quarrington, author, musical composer and man with mad Trivial Pursuit skillz, has succumbed to cancer. Who will the Leacock Society give its annual award to now?
Hey! Somebody’s Just Died! Quit Horsing Around!
Actor Connie Hines, who played Wilbur’s wife on the popular 1960s television show Mister Ed has died. She was clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop years old.
Even Critics Have Critics
French filmmaker and former editor of the Cahiers du Cinema Eric Rohmer has died at the age of 89. Harry Moseby cheered even as the film community mourned.
Only 27 Posthumous Novels And Continuations Of The Series By Lesser Writers To Look Forward To
Robert Parker, whose Spenser novels revived the hard-boiled detective fiction genre, has died at the age of 77. Appropriately, the cause of death was something of a mystery. Hawk was not pleased (like he ever is…).
Nor Was He The Canadian Star of Alias
David Gerber, producer of such popular TV series as Police Story and Police Woman, has died of heart failure. He may be best remembered for a line of baby food, even though he had nothing to do with it. <.p>
It Depended On If his Boots Were Made For Walking
Singer/songwriter Bobby Charles has died at the age of 71. No word on whether he ever made it to New Orleans.
An Obit To Be Proud Of
Kirkus Reviews has died at the age of 76. At its best, it was a feisty literary journal, but how often are any of us at our best? The rest of the time, it was pedantic. Obvious. Lacrimose. If it had been a human being, it would have been the college professor who laughs at his own jokes and thinks his students are enthusiastic about his obscure area of pedagogy just because he is. It will be mourned by cranky members of the literati and…its mother. Probably. We guess.
Or, Taco Huntington
Or, Taco Singh Mantooth
Or, Taco Soon-Yi
Or – I Could Go On, But You Get The Idea
Glen Bell, founder of the Taco Bell chain of Mexican-style fast food restaurants, has died at the age of 86. Strange to think that, if his name had been Glen Shapirowitz, the restaurant chain would have been called Taco Shapirowitz.