Apparently, it’s not tyranny if you’re right…
The rude dude’s snood has ‘tude…
There is no one right way to live, although, as a satirist, I’m thankful that there are so many wrong ways…
Because euchre is a bloodsport…
Could the millions of starving people in the world looking at our obesity epidemic be considered a salivation army?
Despite his travails, the welder solders on…
Multitasking…attention deficit disorder…it’s such a fine…umm…a fine…uhh, what was I saying…?
I’ve been to cyberspace, and all I got was this lousy Web site…
Should Atom Egoyan respond to the acid dripped on his recent film with a new one called Where the Alkalis?
Is there anything sadder than a writer in a world where nobody reads?
An email from an argumentative pastry chef could be headed: RE: torte…
If you don’t know the difference between pedagogic and demagogic, you probably shouldn’t be teaching…
Larger than life and twice as incapacitated…
Purolater, alligator!
The great scheme of things is neither great nor a scheme…although I suppose it does have things – you know, that was much more profound in my head…
Look out! He’s got a knish!
My other Web site is a Camaro.
Gesundheit 451 – the temperature at which Kleenex burns…
My life would have been so much better if I had lived it in Spanish…
Love evolved in Lvov…
Anger is easy; comedy is hard…
Well, blood and pus are no longer oozing from a hole in my chest – you’d be surprised at how that can ruin your day!
Oops…and I mean that sincerely…
In cultural poker, Ben Ten beats Ben Folds Five…
It’s the eternal question: What’s for dinner?
And, remember kids: placebo is not a Russian word of thanks…
I could tell you, but then I would have to tickle you…
The papery Pope pooped on Pepe’s epee…
Bless the stressed heiress who addressed her tress success under duress…
Uninspired by a true story…
The next assault on reality will involve Boston cream pies…
I’m so bourgeois, and of the most petit kind!
Freemasonry is neither…
Ironical…Iranical – it’s such a fine line…
Teheranical…tyrannical – again, it’s such a fine line…
Does your CA put his CB sessions on CD?
Satire that will make you laugh so hard the milk will squirt from your nose…even if you aren’t drinking any!
I’m a figment of my own imagination…
Ryne’s rune ruined Roone’s reign…
The end is Nighy, Bill…
Telling the truth is the right thing to do…if you expect to get caught…
My favourite actor/method of shredding flesh: Louise Lacerate…
With all due disrespect…
Ski the friendly skies…
The author no one is talking about…
Bringing the awesome since anybody can remember…
Fewer carbs, more barbs…
Karoake is, by definition, embarrassing…
Better sedate, then never…
Save the cheerleader money, save the world…
My one regret is that I will never make a pun in Swedish…
Mordor, less window…
Write everything down, because if you don’t…if you don’t, uhh, write everything down…well, I forget what happens, but I’m sure it’s not good…
If a man doesn’t love Rush at 15, he has no balls; if he still loves Rush at 45, he has no future…
The joker lost her ochre choker playing poker…
There’s more than one way to skin a Doctor Katz…
My favourite process of wave-like muscle contractions of the alimentary tract that moves food along/hotel heiress: Peristalsis Hilton…
In the atomic age, it is necessary more than ever to cesium the day!
The Web page that is full of inconvenient untruths…
Humour will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no humour…
While Castro Fidels, Washington burns…
I never kiss Intel…
Les Pages aux Folles: guaranteed not to cause anal leakage…if used correctly…for short periods of time…
Don’t think of it as the beginning of the end of the middle. Think of it as the middle of the end of the beginning…
Could climbing stock markets be the dot.com before the storm?
Does a certain scholar angry at his school have Rhodes rage?
Untrue Internet rumour #237,724: Friday was named after the main character in Futurama.
If you send an email for a man, his job will be momentarily done; if you show a man how to use email for himself, he will do his own damn job!
Life is inappropriate…
Cover Me, I’m Going In!
