Hai Garrafalos:
What is the strange noise that humans make from their facial orifices?
Gigalemmesis Frangiopani
Hai Gigalemmesis:
I believe that you are referring to speech. The noises humans make are not nearly as elegant as the susurrations made by the rubbing together of two or more communication stalks, but it works for them. As hard as it may be to believe. More or less. Often far less when they are in a pair-bonded legal relationship.
Also, the facial orifices to which you refer are known by humans as: “noses.”
Hai Garrafalos:
Oh, I am aware that the harsh, guttural squawkings of humans are an attempt at speech. Poor creatures. No, I was referring to the hissing sounds that are reminiscent of air hastily escaping a balloon and barking sounds that remind me of prison doors being slammed shut. What the Hargalepsis is that about?
Also, are you sure the orifice to which I referred was a nose? I thought noses were what hung on either side of a human being’s head. I’m pretty sure the part of a human being that makes strange noises is known as its “ear.”
Gigalemmesis Frangiopani
Hai Gigalemmesis:
Ah. Thank you for clarifying your question. I believe the noises to which you are referring are known as “laughter.” Laughter is believed to be a response to a painful situation: it releases endorphins, which are the human body’s natural painkillers, into their brains. In this regard, it is similar to flutoxicontine in Squiggle physiognomy.
Also, you may be correct that the noises humans make come from orifices known as ears. Human physiognomy is not my strong point.
Hai Garrafalos:
Are you sure that human laughter is a response to pain? They seem to enjoy it an awful lot.
Gigalemmesis Frangiopani
Hai Gigalemmesis:
I will admit, this is a confusing issue for a lot of species. For Squiggles, jokes are usually met with a positive response. Consider a common Squiggle joke: what do you get when you cross a Ventrosian giglaturantian with a Scormenian vlockanemis? A giglaturanemis that knows how to play the accordion! This joke has always been received with a delighted susurration when I have told it at academic conferences and in libation imbibation establishments, but the human response is a blank stare and a comment such as, “I don’t get it.”
Moreover, human beings often respond to attempts at humour with sentiments such as, “Stop it! You’re killing me, here!” or “You slay me!” Does that sound like a happy reaction? I think not. Moreover, human laughter often turns to tears, which have been positively linked by Squiggle xenobiologists to negative emotions. One can only conclude that jokes cause human beings pain, often so intense as to bring them to the brink of death.
Some evolution researchers have theorized that laughter in humans developed as a means of avoiding humour, perhaps because those indulging in joke-play were more likely to ignore the lion hiding behind the potted plant that was about to pounce on them. Obviously, those who laughed would not survive the meal to pass their genetic material on to their progeny.
Hai Garrafalos:
This laughter thing of which you speak: is it contagious?
Arugalach Memshinfang
Hai Arugalach:
This is a difficult question to answer definitively. I have been living among the humans for five years, and have had occasion to attend performances at humour dissemination establishments. In some instances, a single member of the audience would laugh uproariously at a joke while the others either glared daggers at them or, embarrassed, looked at the bottom of their imbibatory receptacles as though something highly unusual was swimming at the bottom of them. In these cases, the logical assumption would be that laughter is not contagious.
On the other hand, I have seen first-hand instances where one person started to laugh at a joke and soon after other people in the audience followed. In some instances, everybody in the room was laughing uproariously. Except me, of course. I can discern nothing funny about Adam Sandler.
Clearly, more research is necessary. That is why I will be going to Titters Comedy Club every night for the next several months. Research. In the meantime, did you hear the one that starts: “There once was a schlumpnuffer from Nantucket…?”
Ask a Ventrosian Squiggle is the Alternate Reality News Service’s blatant attempt to cater to the inhabitants of Earth Prime 4-4-9-0-0-4 dash phi in the hopes of developing a market in that universe. How are we doing? If you’re a Squiggle struggling with a strange new concept or just a being who is permanently confused, drop us an email at questions@lespagesauxfolles.ca. Remember: ich flibben arcch protumber, dranzig flibben arcch autmumber!