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Not Tonight, Dear – I Have a Headline…

You’ve Been Saying That For The Last Thirty Years!


“It’s time to talk about private health care”

– Toronto Star


Is This A Trick Question?


“What do value investors believe in?”

– Globe and Mail


Primary Clause, Meet Subordinate Clause – You Have A Lot To Work

Out


“Even generosity shouldn’t overshadow good city planning
While public realm philanthropy is welcome, but it can obscure what council should be doing”

– Toronto Star


The Country’s Participation Ribbon Is In The Mail


“Whatever comes of CETA, Canada has already won”

– Globe and Mail


So My Article Will Be Written in Hieroglyphs


“Words fail to describe deceit”

– Toronto Sun


That Explains The Smell In The Boardroom


“The new TD: Bank’s CEO finally marks his territory”

– Globe and Mail


I Wasn’t Planning On Giving Him One, So We Kind Of Agree, I Guess…


“Gibson: Filmmaker is adamant he doesn’t need a second chance”

– Globe and Mail


As Opposed To The Conservatives, Who Will Stab Them In The Front


“If progressives still support Trudeau, he’ll continue to betray them”

– Toronto Sun


Second City Would Have Rejected It For Not Being Funny Enough


“Morneau’s fiscal update merely a sketch”

– Toronto Star


We Know You’ll Listen Because We Asked Politely


“Dear America: Please don’t vote Trump”

– Globe and Mail


Beautiful Plumage…


“Dividend stocks not dead after U.S. election – they’re just resting”

– Globe and Mail


Show Me One Neo-Nazi Who Supports Her – One!


“Trump not perfect, but better than Clinton”

– Toronto Sun


Just Don’t Say Anything About Crimea, Or The Country Will Cut You!


“APEC SUMMIT
RUSSIA WANTS CO-OPERATION”

– Globe and Mail


Another Statesman Is Lost To Black Hole Of Politics


“Johnston talks peace in Mideast
Governor General urges Israel, Palestinians to work toward creating a two-state solution”

– Toronto Star


Regressives Want You Not To Think About How Tax Cuts Disproportionately Benefit The Wealthy


“Progressives want you to think debt always leads to prosperity”

– Toronto Sun


…Trumped By Stupid Drivers Every Time


“SMART STREETS”

– Globe and Mail


Go Long On Empty Slogans, Short Common Sense


“Make your portfolio great again”

– Globe and Mail


Trump Won By Giving Voters Industrial Strength Bullshit


“Trump courted voters tired of ‘hogwash'”

– Toronto Star


They Prefer Their Elitists To Be Inexperienced And Incompetent As Well As Corrupt


“RoFo a bellwether of U.S. election
Americans – like T.O. in 2010 – just plain tired of corrupt elitists”

– Toronto Sun


And, We All Know How Trustworthy Polls Are…


“Majority say Trump will be bad for Canada”

– Toronto Star


Unfortunately, Only Three People Actually Pay For It


“Globe readership tops 7 million, survey finds”

– Globe and Mail


Pleasing Her Greatest Supporters – Conservatives


“Wynne to lead party into next election”

– Toronto Star


You Mean, His Friends?


“Why Trump should take on the robber barons”

– Globe and Mail


It Does – It’s Just NSFW


“Should Toronto have its own official bird?”

– Toronto Star


Economics They Learn On The Street Is Incomplete And Dangerous To Their Long-term Health


“Explain to your kids how money works”

– Globe and Mail


Because Nyah Nyah, Poopiehead!


“Trudeau’s carbon price idiotic, given Trump’s election”

– Toronto Sun


I Don’t Have A Problem Living My Entire Life Online – What Could Possibly Go Wrong?


“Cyberattacks could cause border chaos, officials say”

– Toronto Star

“Massive cyberattack hits Chinese firm
Electronics maker says it did all it could to prevent the online disruption”


– Toronto Star

“Tests cancelled due to cyberattack, agency says
Thousands of students unable to write an online literacy test on Thursday”


– Globe and Mail

“Army recruiting site closed after hack”


– Globe and Mail

“Wireless smart devices could tempt hackers
Research published Thursday claims to uncover security flaw in a Philips Hue smart lightbulb”


– Toronto Star

“Second hacker group targets SWIFT users, Symantec says”


– Globe and Mail

“Microsoft eyes cracks in Windows
Vulnerability exploited by group tied to hacking of DNC”


– Toronto Star

“Casino Rama hack sparks proposed class action”


– Toronto Star

“AP, other media sue FBI to get details on iPhone hacking tool”


– Globe and Mail

“Cybersecurity business booming thanks to hacks”


– Toronto Star

“Pippa Middleton’s phone hacked”


– Toronto Star

“Plans for Indian submarines hacked, leaked to media”


– Globe and Mail

“FBI’s new San Francisco head will try to mend fences with Silicon Valley”


– Toronto Star

“Nude hack exposes rocker”


– Toronto Sun

“Millions of Yahoo accounts hacked”


– Toronto Star

“Major Russian banks hit by cyberattacks”


– Globe and Mail

“Russia likely can’t hack polls, but still a threat”


– Toronto Star

“Cyberattackers coming for your data
Hacked Facebook CEO’s mistake was password, researcher says”


– Toronto Star

“Hacking Strategy: Start Small and Work Up to Larger Targets”


– New York Times

“Liberal’s hydro hack a quick political fix”


– Toronto Star

“Wi-Fi hackers are usually hard to detect”


– Toronto Star

“CRA hacker off to California”


– Toronto Sun

“Leslie Jones hack reveals the tricky digital landscape celebrities navigate”


– Toronto Star

“NRC hack nearly brought agency ‘back to the buggy'”


– Globe and Mail

“‘There was no evidence my system was hacked,’ Clinton says”


– Toronto Star


Your Bra Has Always Wanted To Learn Sanskrit


“Changing the language of lingerie”

– Toronto Star


That’s Why I Threw My Apple Pie At That Rauschenberg, But The Gallery
Owner Was More Alarmed Than Surprised
The Police Seemed None Too Happy, Either


“Rosenberg: Art and dessert ‘should be something that surprises you'”

– Globe and Mail


I Would Prefer An Immune System Boosting Shot, But Your Idea Could Be Worth A Sho – Try, I Guess…


“Cut The risk of flu this season with eye-opening facts”

– Globe and Mail


No
Does That Mean I Can Skip The Next Thousand Words?


“OUIJA’S SPOOKY SCIENCE
A favourite among spiritualists, Ouija boards have been around for a century. But do they really let people talk to the dead?”

– Toronto Star


Smart Enough To Be Done Somewhere Else


“Manufacturing hasn’t vanished – it’s just smarter”

– Globe and Mail


And Their Husbands…Shhhh…


“Reusable diapers have come a long way
And colourful variety has made them a hot collectible among new millennial moms”

– Toronto Star


Hold Your Nose, Cut It Off To Spite Your Face – It’s Such A Fine Line…


“America, hold your nose and vote for Trump”

– Toronto Sun


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