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Headlines Have Forgotten More Answers Than You Have Questions, You Little Snots!

A Bell Jar The Size Of A City Block


“How to starve angry rallies of oxygen?”

Toronto Star


Doctor Godot


“What’s Ottawa waiting for?”

Toronto Star


WARNING: The Chef Is Seven Years Old


“Chili crisp and spaghetti?
Chai spice in an apple pie?”

Toronto Star


The Changes It’s Going Through Are Perfectly Natural – The Process Is Known As Puberty
While It May Be Difficult, Money Will Not Only Survive, But, In Time, Be Better


“What Is Happening to Money?”

New York Times


Money Had A Hissy Fit


“Why are sports games being played before large crowds?”

Toronto Star


You Know What They Say: If You Have To Ask, You Can’t Afford To Live Anywhere South Of Thunder Bay


“What income do I need to afford a home in Toronto?”

Toronto Star


She Thinks She Can, But Nobody Believes Her


“Can Cassandra fund a career swap?”

Toronto Star


These Lanes Were Made For Walking
And That’s Just What They’ll Do
One Of These Days, These Lanes Are Gonna Walk All Over – Eww!


“Are these lanes for bikes or just storing pylons?”

Toronto Star


The One That Convinces The Moment To Meet Him Halfway


“Which leader will meet the moment?”

Toronto Star


It Depends: How Badly Did The Premier Damage The Mirror He Was Looking At His Political Future In?


“Seven years of gridlock ahead?”

Toronto Star


If It’s Half As Good As The New Coke…Panic! Panic Long and Hard!


“A New Nuclear Arms Race?”

New York Times


I Don’t Care, As Long As I Can Finally Go
(You Have No Idea How Long I Have Been Searching For A Bathroom!)


“Should you go big, or go small?”

Toronto Star


Maybe; Unfortunately, Freeland Is Having None Of It


“Is ‘free land’ the answer to housing crisis?”

Toronto Star


Oh, Wow – I’m Having A Flashback To Six Months Ago…
And A Year Ago…
And 18 Months Ago…


“Is it time to make vaccines law?”

Toronto Star


The Refs Have Been Paid To Look The Other Way


“Women play shinny, too. Why are we getting tripped up?”

Toronto Star


Attention Headline Writer, The Economy Needs Me To Need That


“Attention shoppers, do you need that?”

Toronto Star


Start With No Income…


“How can I minimize the taxes I have to pay?”

Toronto Star


Is This A “One Hand Clapping” Kind Of Headline?


“Are virtual doctors here to stay?”

Toronto Star


Whatever You Do, Don’t Ask Groucho!


“Why was Bloor Viaduct sidewalk left coated by ice snow for days?”

Toronto Star


The Country Was Never Very Good At Responding When The Singer Called


“Lula Stages a Comeback. Will Brazil Join In?”

New York Times


If It Is, I Blame Liberals


“Is this the end of era of finger-pointing?”

Toronto Star


Twenty More Days Of Christmas


“What does ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ mean to you?”

Toronto Star


Their Employer Must Really Suck If They’re Even Contemplating Such A Thing!


“Can Lightning strike a third time?”

Toronto Star


I’m Too Young To Die Of A Pastry Overdose!


“Ready for the best savoury tart of your life?”

Toronto Star


Only If We Develop An Equally Effective Anti-stupidity Drug
(I May Never Leave My House Again)


“Omicron Is Here. Will We Use Our New Covid Drugs Wisely?”

New York Times


Using A Tennis Match To Resolve A Political Conflict?
How Original Star Trek Of Them!


“Should Ottawa fight Quebec in top court?”

Toronto Star


They Figure They Need A Career First?


“Why aren’t Canadians using career services?”

Toronto Star


I’m Not Sure How Putting Your Ear In A Frame And Hanging It On A Wall Will Help, But I’ve Never Been What You Could Call Fashion Forward…


“Can I try the ‘curated’ ear look on my sagging earlobes?”

Toronto Star


If The People’s Party Of Canada Gets Its Way


“Will Canada ban foreign travellers?

Toronto Star


You Can’t Tell The Difference Either?
You’d Think The Box Would Make It Obvious…


“Cabbage Patch doll or rapid test for Christmas?”

Toronto Star


You Know What They Say: If You Can Kill Them There, You Can Kill Them Anywhere


“New York City Is Expecting Omicron any Day Now. How Ready Is It?”

New York Times


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