there is no scientific evidence for global warmingThank you, Daniela Hediner-Harron, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. DID YOU KNOW: that pulling your lower lip over your forehead isn’t nearly as amusing for the people around you on the subway as it is when you see it in a cartoon? In fact, many people find it quite disturbing.
Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff
It Could Be Worse: It Could Be Treasure Planet 2
Harmony Korine must have been on some strong shit when he decided to remake his seminal film as a computer animated feature for Disney. Kidz is an hallucinatory combination of promiscuous sex, prodigious drug abuse and annoyingly cute state of the art digital graphics. Nihilistic fun for the whole family.
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
No, Warming Your Globes Isn’t At Issue Here…
Progression of political positions on climate change:
THE US IS HERE: there is no such thing as global warming
there is no scientific evidence for global warming
there is no scientific consensus on global warming
CANADA IS HERE: the Kyoto Accord is not an effective means of dealing with global warming
the Kyoto Accord would have been effective if we had implemented it right away, but it is no longer strong enough to deal with the problems we now face
this is a great opportunity for business! Think of the possibilities of…thicker sunscreen formulas!
this is a great opportunity for business! Think of the possibilities of…beachfront property were there used to be no beaches!
this is a great opportunity for human evolution! Think of the possibilities of…growing gills so we can live underwater!
SOURCE: Scientific Canadian
They’re Just Pulling Our Cheney
According to his testimony in the Plame name game, Vice President Dick Cheney’s Chief of Staff Scooter Libby was authorized by Cheney and President George W. Bush to leak classified information about the identity of a CIA agent. The White House denies that either man had any part in the leak and asserts that when the President authorizes the release of information, it becomes de facto declassified.
Read that last sentence again.
If it starts to make sense to you, consider this: the President is claiming that there is no contradiction between his earlier position that anybody involved in the leak should be fired and the fact that he authorized it himself because he only found out last week that he was the one who authorized the leak.
Imagine his surprise.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
Because The Foundation Of Democracy Is Full And Open Public Debate
The debate begins:
NDP LEADER JACK LAYTON: We are here to ask questions and raise concerns, to help Canadians determine if this is the right mission for Canada. So, uhh, is sending troops to Afghanistan the right mission for Canada?
DEFENCE MINISTER GORDON O’CONNOR: Yes.
LAYTON: Good enough for me. Thanks.
O’CONNOR: Don’t mention it.
The debate ends. What a great day for Canadian democracy.
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
It Could Be Worse: It Could Be Treasure Planet 3
Some people are aghast that Rob Schneider, David Spade and Jon Heder are starring in one movie, The Benchwarmers. I say Hollywood has done us a big favour. Now, instead of having to avoid three movies, we only have to avoid one. The fact that we can also avoid a Jon Lovitz movie in the process is just a wonderful bonus.
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
Clear As Mud In Your Eye
Who is more deserving of impeachment: Bill Clinton or George W. Bush? Let’s weigh the evidence:
Speaks for itself, doesn’t it? The great thing about looking at the issue this way, is that this answers a number of other questions. Who was the better President: Clinton or Bush? Who brought more disrepute to the office of the President: Clinton or Bush? Who had more fun in office: Clinton or Bush?
Hey! Sometimes you gotta throw Republicans a bone.
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
Mission Impossible, Impossible
According to Conservative Environment Minister Rona Ambrose, it is “impossible, impossible for Canada to reach its Kyoto target.” Given that Canadian greenhouse gases are up by between 20 and 30 per cent since Canada signed the Kyoto Accord, the government has decided to abandon its Kyoto Agreement commitments.
In a similar move, Justice Minister Vic Toews announced that the government would close the RCMP, CSIS and all other crime fighting organizations, and urge provincial and local governments to do the same. “It is impossible, impossible, for Canada to eradicate crime,” the Justice Minister stated, “so we might as well stop trying.”
SOURCE: The National Whipping Post
Oh, We’re In Deep Shit Now
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
Foolish Consistency Is The Hobgoblin Of Minds Trying To Avoid The Issue A Little
HOST JON TUDOR: Senator McCain, you once said that Jerry Falwell was “an agent of intolerance.” Why are you now prepared to give the commencement address at his Liberty University?
SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN: Well, Jon, I give a lot of addresses to students throughout the country.
PAUSE.
TUDOR: Uhh, okay. But, does this mean you’ve changed and you now support Falwell?
MCCAIN: Well, Jon, not necessarily. See, I give a lot of addresses to students throughout the country.
TUDOR: Do you now support Jerry Falwell?
MCCAIN: Well, Jon, not necessarily. I really do give a lot of addresses –
TUDOR: To students throughout the country. Yeah, yeah, I know. Will you at least allow that the optics of the speech aren’t very good?
MCCAIN: Well, Jon, not necessarily. I give a lot of –
TUDOR: OY!
SOURCE: The Day To Day Show, with Jon Tudor
