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Enjoy,Flexible Phrase, That
Corporate responsibility has come a long way in the past couple of decades.
In the 1980s, “plausible deniability” was a synonym for “nobody told me.” These days, plausible deniability is a synonym for “it was taken care of by a sub-contractor, and we have no control over what those crazy people do.”
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
Blindly Through The Looking Glass
“Help! Police! Help!”
“Yes, sir, what can I do for you?”
“That bank across the street is being robbed!”
“Ah. Thank you so much for letting me know.”
“You’re wel –”
“You’re under arrest.”
“What?”
“Please put your hands behind your back.”
“But, I’m not the one robbing the bank!”
“I know, sir. Please put your hands behind your back.”
“Why are you arresting me?”
“This is George W. Bush’s America, sir. We don’t like snitches. Now, I will not ask you again: will you please put your hands behind your back, or do you want me to pull my weapon?”
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
How About “Conservatives Cut Programmes For Poor?”
Which of the following headlines is more redundant?
1) “New-found Windows flaw puts PCs at risk”
2) “Sun comes up again.”
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
I Might See That Movie On Basic Cable
Owing to the high level of gun violence in the city, end of year newspaper headlines proclaimed 2006 the “year of the gun” and the year Toronto “lost its innocence.” How accurately did these headlines reflect the reality of life in the city? Consider the following comparison chart:
| Element | Year of the Gun | A Loss of Innocence | Analysis |
|---|---|---|---|
| Director | John Frankenheimer | Graeme Clifford | John Frankenheimer’s career has been hit or miss, but Graeme Clifford’s work was done entirely in television (if you don’t count the sound work he did on The Ricky Horror Picture Show). It’s a close call, but give this one to A Loss of Innocence. |
| Male Lead | Andrew McCarthy | Rob Estes | Andrew McCarthy or Rob Estes. Rob Estes or Andrew McCarthy. One has been in a few bad movies, the other has been in a lot of bad TV. A hell of a lot. Let’s go with quantity over (dubious) quality: A Loss of Innocence wins another category. |
| Female Lead | Sharon Stone | Jennie Garth | Sharon Stone was in Basic Instinct. Who cares who she’s up against? Year of the Gun wins this one. |
| Can Be Confused With | Lethal Girls 2, aka The Year of the Gun | The Loss of Sexual Innocence | This is the toughest call. On the one hand, you could be looking for a political thriller and end up with a Hong Kong action film. On the other, you could be looking for an old-fashioned story of big city corruption and end up with a down and dirty art film. In situations like this, I always ask myself: what would Quentin Tarantino do? Give it to the Hong Kong action film! |
| Tag Line | “In a city bathed in blood...who can you trust?” | “A moving movie that explores religious values and the role they play in desire and guilt.” | This is the second toughest call because, frankly, they both suck. Unfortunately, Tarantino is no help here. Let’s give this one to A Loss of Innocence because, well, the cliché isn’t quite as awful. |
So, there you go. 2005 will go down in the books as the year Toronto lost its innocence. Not to worry, fans of Year of the Gun: there will be plenty of opportunity to make it the slogan of 2006.
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
And, When We Say Taking It All Off, We Mean All Of It!
Windsor officials are denying that it’s “Sin City” after an article in the Detroit News warned people attending the Super Bowl, which is being held in Detroit this year, of the depravity right across the border. This is, of course, the wrong tactic for city boosters to use. If they really want American tourists to flock to Windsor, city officials should play up the differences between it and Detroit in advertising slogans. Slogans like:
“Windsor – come for the Cuban cigars, stay for the Cuban strippers!”
“Windsor – not exactly Robert Rodriquez’ Sin City, but we’re working on it!”
Windsor – taking it all off for your tailbacks!”
“Windsor – hook pass/hooker pass – it’s great to have choices!”
“Windsor – you’re only 10 minutes away from the depravity!”
SOURCE: aye Weakly
There’s Plenty Of Video To Analyze…
In The Family Stone, Sarah Jessica Parker is so thin she looks like a mild breeze could blow her away. Scary thin. Unhealthy thin. So, why isn’t Bill Frist demanding that Congress take action to save her life?
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
Ariel Sharon vs. Irving Layton
Israel awakens today to a political chasm as great as any it has known as the nation grapples with the tragic death of Irving Layton.
Layton, one of the finest Canadian poets to gain an international stature and a controversial presence on the national scene for decades, had, during the past 12 months, completely transformed Israel’s political landscape in his own image.
Heading towards elections this March, he was a juggernaut who single-handedly marginalized the once-powerful Likud Party by leaving it and developed the persona of a hot-blooded, lusty poet glorying in sex and riotous living, in defiance of his pinched, repressed fellow Canadians.
The man nicknamed The Bulldozer for his uncompromising, straight-ahead style of leadership was a magnetic presence teaching history and literature at a Jewish high school in Montreal before realizing his life-long ambition in 1969 when he became professor of English at York University.
“He is our greatest poet, our greatest champion of poetry,” long-time friend Leonard Cohen proclaimed. “This is one of the most dramatic nights in Israel’s history.”
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups