Lee and Pat are in a long-term, committed relationship. Jo and Leslie are in a long-term, committed relationship. From the following evidence, can you tell which couple is gay?
Their son wets his bed. Lee and Pat develop a small library of child psychology books and do their best to talk him through what they know must be a difficult time for him. Jo and Leslie cut a green garbage bag open and lay it on his bed until he outgrows the problem.
Their son asks where babies come from. Lee and Pat bring out Mommy, Where Do Babies Come From?, which they had bought before he was born, and read it to him slowly, making sure he understands what they are trying to tell him. Jo and Leslie bring out Behind the Green Door, which they had stolen before their son was born, and leave him to watch it while they go into the bedroom to perform their own version of it.
His grade school principal phones to tell them their son is being bullied at school. Lee and Pat write and perform a puppet show that helps children understand bullies and feel good about themselves after they have been bullied. Lee and Pat are proud when their show is given a special award by the PTA. Jo and Leslie teach their son how to fight. They are proud when he is brought home with a black eye by a policeman.
Their son hides his report card for a couple of weeks because he only got a "c" in math. Lee finds the report card while cleaning his room. Lee and Pat sit him down for a long discussion about the important role education plays in having a good life and decide to give up plans to go for a weekend getaway to Las Vegas so that they can afford to get their son a math tutor. Leslie finds the report card while combing through his room for things to pawn for drug money. Jo and Leslie congratulate their son for being the first member of the family to get such a high grade in math, offer him a beer and tell him what a great time he'll have working at Macdonald's.
Their son has started listening to something he calls - but they do not recognize as - music. Lee and Pat discuss it, laughing as they remember how outraged their parents were by the music they listened to when they were growing up, and decide that they've raised their son well enough to trust his taste. Jo and Leslie talk it over and decide it isn't worth bothering about until he starts sacrificing small animals, at which point they resolve to teach him the proper way to draw a pentagram in blood.
Their son gets his eyebrow pierced without asking for permission first. Lee and Pat hug him, creating a warm environment in which they can give him an extensive lecture on how adults must take responsibility for what they do to their bodies. Jo reveals a tattoo of Richard Nixon's skull and crossbones and Leslie's back is covered by a tattoo of a relief map of Argentina; they split a six pack to celebrate their little boy growing up and trash their apartment.
Washing his good pair of jeans, Pat finds a condom in a back pocket. Lee and Pat light candles, make all of their son's favourite foods and, over dinner, tell him what a wonderful, sharing experience physical intimacy between two people who care about each other can be, emphasizing what a responsibility is can also be.
Searching through his pockets for loose change, Jo finds a condom. Jo tells Leslie they have to talk to their son about it. Leslie has had a hard time at work and isn't in a mood to talk about it. By the time their son comes home from school, Jo and Leslie are screaming and throwing things at each other. He quickly goes to his room.
Their son brings his current girlfriend home to meet his parents. Lee and Pat show a genuine interest in getting to know her and invite her to dinner. Jo asks how much she cost and Leslie says she can't stay because they don't have enough heroin to go around.
Have you guessed which couple is gay? They both are, of course. There are gay couples with good parenting skills, gay couples with bad parenting skills and gay couples with every combination of the two.
Just like straights.
