Thank you, dontbeabishai, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, our attention was torn between news that the director of the Friends reunion special claimed that people were reading too much into Matthew Perry's slurred speech, that the actor was just fine; and actor Alec Baldwin making it public that he had lobbied for the role of the person who kills Tony on The Sopranos. And, we thought, Has celebrity gossip always been this petty and pointless?
It couldn't be. So, we decided that the pandemic must have something to do with it. With everybody in lockdown, celebrities just can't get up to the juicy hijinks that make gossip columns worth reading. Damn the pandemic - it's ruining everything good about life!
Enjoy,The Supreme Court has agreed to hear a case about a highly restrictive Mississippi abortion law. I'm not saying the Conservative justices on the court are to eager to hear the case, but they did start wearing bibs to catch their drool. Justice Amy Coney Barrett's bib had the slogan, "Just try me!" while Justice Brett Kavanaugh's bib sported an image of a beer keg and the phrase, "I like ber! Berr! Brer! I like brer!"
SOURCE: Cohan
[http://teamcoho.com/video/opening-monologue-05-18-21]
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When Somebody Shows You Who They Really Are - RUN AWAY! GET AS FAR AWAY FROM THEM AS IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!
Since he was elected President, Joe Biden has repeatedly stated his desire to work with Republicans to develop bi-partisan support for legislation. How is that working out for him? A bill to establish a commission to investigate the Capitol insurrection was filibustered to death, going to the great deliberative chamber in the sky even though the count on the final vote was 54-35. As Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said, "My caucus is united in sticking our fingers in our ears, sticking out our tongues and saying, 'Nyah nyah, Mister President, we're not going to let you do anything you want to and you can't make us!'"
So, naturally, President Biden is looking for Republican support for his infrastructure plan.
Seeing what was happening south of the border, Canada handed a pair of beaver testicles to President Biden. "Having already surrendered, you don't seem to need these," Canada stated, "but I like the symbolism. If you don't appreciate it now, you will some day. Some day."
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20210602.eladvote0602_@/BNStory/newsOops2021/]
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SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Crazy Conspiracy Theories Have Normal People All Tuckered Out
Have you ever lain in bed at night and thought to yourself, Who has a national platform to speak for racist America? After all, racist are Americans, so they should have their views heard, right? Well, wonder no more.
Tucker Carlson, Fox News' blandest melatonin-deprived putative human, is willing to take up the challenge.
Allowing one person one vote isn't the American way just because the Constitution says it is. Pfft - what does the Constitution know about America, anyway? It's actually a left-wing plot to replace all of the good straight white Christian voters with voters who are not that.
Now, you might think that if Republicans were concerned about the votes of people of colour, or Jews, or Muslims, or gays, they might build a party platform to appeal to the needs of those constituencies. Oh, you're so adorable I want to pinch your cheeks until blood vessels burst! You should take a vacation in the basket of deplorables and see how the other not quite half lives.
No, the modern GOP reaches for political theories that Jim Crow would have been proud of. In the basket of deplorables, the choir sings from the rhyming history hymnal.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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The Response From The Canadian Government Was Just As Swift: It Established A Commission To Study The Impact Of The Statement
Actor John Cena has apologized to fans in China after saying that Taiwan would be the first country to watch his film Fast and Furious 9. China does not recognize Taiwan as a separate nation, preferring to think of it as "the little Chinese province that could...but better not if it knows what's good for it!"
"I'm sorry for my mistake," Cena said in a video he posted to Chinese social media network Weibo. "In the meantime, I hope the people of the country of Quebec will enjoy an early look at my movie."
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
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When Somebody Lies To You About Who They Really Are - RUN AWAY! GET AS FAR AWAY FROM THEM AS IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!
1. ...to everybody except queers!
2. This is our second positive tweet in that time. And it has paid off! Our LGBTQ membership has doubled - and both gay Republicans tell us how very happy being members of the party makes them!
3. You can hate blacks. You can hate Jews. You can hate communists. You can hate feminists. You can hate gays. You can hate lesbians. You can hate transes. You can hate aany combination of them. The modern Republican Party has room for a variety of different life experiences and points of view!
4. By making sure that trans children can't play with other children. Is it fair that Gord-fearing parents of straight children have to answer questions about sexual orientation when their confused kids come back from school?
5. By overturning the Supreme Court decision that allowed gay marriage. But don't tell gays that - it's not like it's in the party's platform or anything!
6. Okay, I'm probably not fooling anybody in the gay community with this tweet. But it does give the Christian base of the party cover to say to itself, "I don't hate queers, I just hate queer rights!" This is what winning looks like!
SOURCE: Religion For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummies/religionfordummies/home.asp?did=565&dir=bb]
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