Thank you, fafa ayih, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, sshhh, sshhh, sshhh. You hear that? That's the silent scream of insurance company CEOs incensed by the Florida court ruling striking down the entire Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. Can you not hear the anguish in their unspoken mantra, "Forty million new customers! Forty million new customers! Forty million new customers!"?
We didn't think our readers were that cold.
Enjoy,The Revolution Will Not Be Virtualized
BREAKING NEWS FROM CAIRO: Live Twitter feed reveals:SOURCE: CBBS News
[http://www.cbbsnews.com/stories/2011/02/02/revolution/main523215.shtml]
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A popular hit at Sundance, Flatulence: The Film is a documentary by Alexei Eyradani that follows the history of depictions of breaking wind in Hollywood films. It is divided into three sections: human, animal (the biggest section by far) and other. While it certainly is good of Eyradani to reclaim long forgotten early sound experiments with farting monkeys, the segment of the film dealing with dogs goes on way too long and is far too repetitive. In addition, his emphasis on American flatulence does a disservice to the Russians and, especially, the French, who have a long history of cinematic wind breaking.
Why focus on this subject? "Well, all the good topics for film retrospectives were taken," Eyradani explained. "But, uhh, that doesn't mean this isn't a worthwhile film. I mean Flatulence: The Film, uhh, sheds light on a long ignored aspect of our cinematic culture. I can't really explain it, but farts are just funny, man. They crack me up."
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0295650/]
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Mayor Rob Ford is excited about the possibility of Toronto getting an NFL franchise. "Within two years, three years, tops, the Super Bowl would come to the city, and wouldn't that be a party!"
When it was pointed out to him that Canada has its own football league, the CFL, Ford responded, "Really? Why didn't I know that? Never mind, never mind. The important thing is that Toronto doesn't have a team in that league, so we should be in line for an NFL franchise."
When it was further pointed out that Toronto does, indeed, have a CFL franchise - the Argonauts - Ford pouted, "Yeah, maybe, okay, whatever, but can these...Ergonuts play in the Super Bowl? No? I didn't think so. Can we please focus on what's important, here? Like, you getting out of my office? NOW!"
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml#52239147265]
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Reviews That Imitate Life: Short And Harsh
The Dilemma - posed for the audienceSOURCE: Five Second Movie Reviews
[http://www.5secmovrev.com/NOW.htm]
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Wait! Has She Been Accused Of Killing Christian Babies And Using Their Blood For Baking Moose Pies?
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Richard Branson Note
Virgin Airlines has announced that it is dropping flights out of Pearson International Airport to San Francisco and Los Angeles. Here's an idea: why doesn't the government give those slots to the United Arab Emirates?
Yeah. Sure. I'll bet the UAE would be thrilled to be following a Virgin.
SOURCE: Toronto Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/TorontoStunned/News/2011/01/22/542727.html]
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We Resnort, You Desnide
Completely unsolicited advice for news outlets from our neighbour to the south:
FOX NEWS: You don't have to report on it just because a Tea Partier or John Boehner said it.
CNN: You don't have to report on it just because Fox News did.
CNBC: You don't have to report on it just because a CEO said it.
MSNBC: You don't have to fire anchors just because they report on it.
ESPN: You don't have to report on it just because an overpaid athlete said it. Seriously.
NEW YORK TIMES: You don't have to report on it just because Judith Miller thinks you should.
LOS ANGELES TIMES: You don't have to report on it just because Charlie Sheen is involved.
SOURCE: Wryerson Journalism Review
[http://www.wryerson.ca/wrj/online/orangutan-phelps1.html]
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Shareholders in ABC Corporation are protesting the recent vote which allowed it to be taken over by XYZ Incorporated. As it happens, only one proxy vote was cast, but it was counted 1,375,604 times. "That doesn't seem right," said shareholder and part-time receptor antagonist Zaphod Babblebrookes. "For one thing, there are only 127 outstanding shares in the company."
A representative of Industry Canada darted out the door and was heard scurrying down the hall before he could be asked about the problem.
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=48ddccd7-f6f3-4f4f-9f18-a2eb4cc6a436]
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Egyptian Endgame - Not Just A Chess Ploy Any More
"My people love me. Don't worry about those people in the street - it is a small protest that will amount to nothing." "Okay, the protests are...somewhat larger than I first allowed. Still, my people love me, so there is nothing to worry about." "Hmm...it would appear that I have underestimated the size of the protests. Still, it is nothing that my police cannot handle." "The police got their asses handed to them by protestors? Okay, okay, no need to panic - the army can deal with the protests." "The...the army is not willing to fire on protestors who are peaceful? This - I - okay. I will give the protestors what they want. I will...fire my government and replace it with...other people loyal to me. Okay. We good now?" "You people drive a hard bargain, you know that? Alright, already, I'll step down...when the next election happens. In a few months. That's as good as you're going to get, so...so stop with the demonstrations in the streets, already, why don't you?" 
"What do you mean, my supporters caused the bulk of the violence? What are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?" "Florida is nice this time of year. Wish I wasn't here."
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=718&dir=bb]
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