Thank you, Lucille Viva-Vegas, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we realized that we hadn't flossed in...a long, long time, and we had an appointment with our dentist in two days. So, to make up for it, we flossed for over three hours. Oddly enough, going into our dentist with bleeding gums did not endear us to him.
Enjoy,Biting The Hand That Feeds People Who Don't Know Any Better
EXT. WHISTLER MOUNTAIN - DAY
ALEXANDRE BILODEAU stands in front of a snow-covered slope.
BILODEAU: Hi. My name is Alexandre Bilodeau. I just won a gold medal for mogul skiing at the Vancouver Olympics. McDonald's, which is an official sponsor of the Olympic Games, has asked me to say a few words about their food. So...DON'T EAT IT! DON'T LET IT GET ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR MOUTH! IT'S POISON! DO YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE MADE IT TO THE OLYMPICS IF I HAD BEEN EATING GREASY, HIGH IN SATURATED FAT FOOD ALL THESE YEARS? ARE YOU A MORON? McDONALD'S IS -
Bilodeau looks off, blinks and starts to run. A moment later, two big men in dark suits run after him.
BILODEAU: (fading out as he runs away from the camera) I ate at a McDonald's once when I was seven! I couldn't stop throwing up for three days!
Bilodeau and the two men continue to run until they are small figures against the grandeur of the mountains.
ANNOUNCER: McDonald's Restaurants is a proud sponsor of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics.
SOURCE: Ad Meek
[http://www.admeek.com/A&W/national/article_display.jsp?nuvu_content_id=1010652504]
more
Making A Big Deal Out Of A "Great" Deal
Canada has reached an agreement with the United States that will allow it to be exempt from Buy America restrictions on government expenditures as long as the provinces give equal treatment to American companies for their government contracts. This is a great deal for Canada.
Of course, the Buy America law is temporary, while American access to provincial contracts will be permanent. And, of the $275 billion worth of American infrastructure projects, $200 billion had already been awarded to American companies before the deal was made. And, the exemption for Canadian industry is not complete.
But, uhh, other than that, this is a great deal for Canada. A great deal.
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=98ddccd7-f6f3-4f4f-9f25-a2eb4cc6a386]
more
You Know He's Going To...Milk The Court Ruling For All It's Worth
The Ontario government has decided to appeal the acquittal of unrepentant raw milk producer Michael Schmidt.
Schmidt - did we mention his unrepentanceness? - responded by saying: "This is not about milk. This is about the individual's right to make dumb choices that could affect his and the public's health without government interference."
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1088001831813&call_pageid=
968305278492&col=968000972154]
more
Not to be absolutely thrilled by the Olympics coming to Canada is unpatriotic. However, not all Olympic winter sports are created equal. Below is a chart that lists some sports, how much Canadianess you lose for not liking them and how to get your Canadianness back.
| Sport | Loss | Cure |
|---|---|---|
| luge | 3% | watch an episode of King of Kensington |
| ski jumping | 7% | eat a box of 10 Timbits |
| speed skating | 12% | watch six episodes of Wayne and Shuster |
| downhill skiing | 27% | eat a box of 20 Timbits |
| biathlon | 54% | watch Question Period for 12 straight hours |
| curling | 87% | do all of the above |
| hockey | 98% | you're beyond help; move to another country |
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml#56038133867]
more
Our Government Still Has The Power To Prorogue Itse - Oh...
Okay. Canada has decided to align its environmental policy with the United States. Canadian troops are fighting an American war in Afghanistan under American command. And, of course, the federal government has just strong-armed the provinces to make a deal with the US that further erodes the country's economic sovereignty. What is left for the federal government to actually do?SOURCE: Canada: Still A Country?
[http://www.irritationnation.ca/whattolookat.asp?ID=273476884-7/]
more
The Keystone Kops Come To Kanada
The real reason the Canadian government does not want to release the files containing information it collected on labour leader Tommy Douglas:
June 26, 1968
Assigned to watch Tommy Douglas. Thought It was the Chief's pet name for a type of fir tree. After 72 hours in Prince Albert National Park, realized my mistake and went back to headquarters.
July 2, 1968
Tommy Douglas watch continues. Douglas is a shapely young woman who likes hanging out at discos. Hard to see why the Chief wants me to watch her, but I will watch her. Closely. With all my being. For as long it takes.
It takes only 72 days for me to realize that I am actually watching Margaret Sinclair. In retrospect, it should have been obvious that she wasn't Tommy Douglas - for one thing, she didn't seem to know anything about the Canadian health care system. For another, she looked fabulous in a slinky black off the shoulder number. Still, in the heat of the moment, we are all prone to making mistakes.
January 27, 1969
Thought I caught a glimpse of Tommy Douglas in a doughnut shop in Montreal, but it was only Mordecai Richler. Damn! - this Tommy Douglas character is slipperier than I had been led to believe!
February 4, 1969
Finally found Tommy Douglas, thanks to an RCMP agent at headquarters who always carries a picture of the man in his wallet. It took me all of 72 seconds to realize that he didn't actually do anything interesting. I wonder what Margaret Sinclair is doing right now...
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-7946374864826327230173cahs01.html]
more
Not Thrilled About Hosting An International Sports Competition? Don't VANOC It Til You've Tried It
How can we best understand the forces in play when the Olympics comes to town? The following graphic might help to unravel some of the factors involved:
Note that this is a Venn diagram, not a representation of the Olympics symbol. As a Venn diagram, it shows all hypothetically possible logical relations between a finite collection of sets (groups of things). As a representation of the Olympics symbol (which it most emphatically is not), it would be begging for a cease and desist order.
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=678&dir=bb]
more
