Thank you, Rocky "Tab" Lloyd, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we woke up in the hospital after gender reassignment surgery and asked ourselves, "Why are we waking up in the hospital after gender reassignment surgery? It's not like we were unhappy with the gender we were born with…"
Enjoy,Of Course, The Price Could Be Steep
There is TEA 2.0 (allied with the Tea Party Patriots), the Tea Party Nation, the Tax Day Tea Party, the Re-Tea Party, the Tea Party Express and the 1776 Tea Party. That we know of. There are almost as many flavours of tea party as there are of tea. But, can there ever be enough? There may not be a tea party operating in your state/city/household - what is a person proud to be a lunatic to do?
Have you considered starting your own tea party branch? It could be easier than you think! All you will need is:
o an inarticulate rage at something bad happening in your life;Ilitera - illiteras - bad spelling is a definite plus.
The tea party movement - serve yourself.
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=676&dir=bb]
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One Step Backwards At A Time
The Liberal Party has decided to return to work in Parliament as scheduled on January 25, even though it has been prorogued and nobody else will be there. Despite the fact that he is the only game in town, a poll shows that Michael Ignatieff is only the third most respected federal leader in Ottawa.
"This is a vast improvement!" exclaimed one Liberal insider. "When Parliament was in session, Ignatieff was twenty-ninth!"
SOURCE: The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2010/01/27/polldancing100127]
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Doing An ENDA Run Around The Constitution
NEWS ALERT NEWS ALERT NEWS ALERT NEWS ALERT NEWS ALERT
As the Employee Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) winds its way through congress, not unlike a hamster through the intestines of a snake - a heathen pagan Atheist snake - Christian groups are fighting back against a law that they know in their bones would force business owners to hire homosexuals, cross-dressers or men who wear an unmanly amount of makeup.
"In the name of ending discrimination in the workplace, the government is discriminating against Christian employers," said Family Research Council President Tony Perkins. "Well, I say that in the name of allowing discrimination in the workplace, we should end discrimination against Christian employers." Perkins paused, thinking through what he had just said, but he must have figured he got it right because he didn't try to correct himself.
"Besides," he added with a shudder, "I wouldn't want my sons coming back from a Christian bookstore with a desire to put on heavy eyeliner or blush. Keeping qualified people from being hired for jobs because of their sexual…proclivities - we're demanding it…for the children."
SOURCE: Bigots Without Borders
[http://www.bigotswithoutborders.org/]
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On A Par With Zombie Management
The Toronto Maple Leafs are in the news again. Did they win the Stanley Cup? Don't be silly. Did they make the playoffs? In their dreams.
No. They've asked Electronic Arts to make the Leafs worse in the computer game NHL 10.
"Boys want winners," explained Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment President and CEO Richard Peddie. "Crazy, I know. What ever happened to home team loyalty? Still, that's the way it is. And, the Leafs in the computer game are making the real team look bad. If the player controlling them is any good, they win more often than we do. And, if the player is very good - look. We're not asking EA to make them all zombies or anything. We just - hmm…zombie hockey…excuse me."
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml#54230533765]
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It's A Cheap Irony, But In This Economy You Get What You Can Afford
Fox News pundit Glenn Beck said, "Gee, who is having indoctrination next week? Oh, yeah, that's right, the president. It is the nanny state. They're going to tell us what we can eat, they can tell us what our temperature needs to be in our homes, they can tell us what kind of car to drive. They can tell businesses how to run their business. It's slavery. It is slavery. So here you have Barack Obama going in and spending the money on embryonic stem cell research...Eugenics. In case you don't know what Eugenics led us to: the Final Solution. A master race! We are a country that is headed towards socialism, totalitarianism, beyond your wildest imagination. This president I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture...This guy is, I believe, a racist.
"Oh," Beck added, "and you know the worst part? The thing that really sticks in my craw? The President is lowering the level of discourse in Washington to the gutter!"
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49781-2010Jan11.html]
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Politics Makes Strange Bedfellows (Except In States Where Homosexuality Is Illegal)
Dear Osama bin Laden,
May I call you Osama? Or, Usama? Or, whatever your first name is?
I don't know if this letter will reach you or not, but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your efforts on my behalf. If you or somebody in your organization hadn't ordered the underwear bomber to try and explode an American plane over Detroit over Christmas, I would never have been able to use the incident to paint President Obama as weak on terrorism, and I certainly would not have been able to raise as much money towards my gubernatorial campaign as I did. I don't think it is exaggerating to say that your effort put me over the top, was central to my successful election. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Of course, if anybody asks, I will still have to say that you are our country's sworn enemy and I hope you die a slow and painful death and burn in hell. That's politics - I'm sure you understand. Still, just between us, I couldn't have done as well as I did without you. If you're ever in Detroit, give me a call. Maybe we'll go for a beer or something to celebrate.
Sincerely,SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-7946374864826327230cahs01.html]
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