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Enjoy,Canadian Broadcasters Drooled...In...Wonder...
Time Warner has agreed to pay Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation 50 cents per subscriber for its Fox television channels. Murdoch had threatened to pull the channels from the company's cable system if it didn't pay to carry them, even though they are free over the air.
Somali pirates watched in wonder.
SOURCE: Entertainment For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/home.asp?did=499&dir=bb]
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Mission Demolished
The United States has pulled all of its combat troops out of Iraq two days before the August 2010 deadline set by the Status of Forces Agreement. Two guys named Moe Shapkowitz and Eddy Felski shipped Stateside on Thursday. The rest of the troops have been reassigned: they are now on support rather than combat duty.
"We have shown the world that the United States is as good as its word," said President Obama. "It's only when you put our words together with several other words that things get a little dodgy!"
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=32300641064641312897fx]
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Twilight Of The Publishing Industry
The popularity of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight novels has spawned a new trend in publishing: reissues of classic works with covers patterned after her books. The latest is George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-four, which sports a blood red image of a boot treading on a human face against a black background and the phrase "Edward doesn't know what true horror is."
Other classics that are rumoured to be ripe for the Twilight treatment: Gulliver's Travels, Alice in Wonderland and The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire.
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.42.48/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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And, A Fine Haul It Is, Too!
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1578833022]
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Just Another Charming Western Prorogue
Dammnit! The day before New Year's Eve, Prime Minister Stephen Harper prorogued Parliament until March! If I had known this was going to happen, I would have taken my weeks off in February!
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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On The Other Hand, Kennedy Gets Beaten By Churchill Three Falls To One
It is understandable that that some right wing organizations would want to tarnish the Kennedy legacy; in the iron cage match of history, he wipes the floor with Ronald Reagan. Still, that desire has led to a colossal screw-up.
TMZ.com posted a picture that it claimed showed President Johnson having intercourse with the hole in Kennedy's throat on Air Force One after the assassination. In fact, that image was taken from an article Paul Krassner wrote for The Surrealist. There is no credible evidence that the event was anything more than a grotesque piece of satire.
Nobody at TMZ.com has been willing to comment on how a piece of prose turned up as an image on their Web site.
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-794637486482632723cahs01.html]
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If It Claims To Contain Your Emails From Next Week, RUN!
For the first time using my new Vista system, I sorted my mail in Windows Explorer by date. The programme conveniently grouped my files in categories: Today, Yesterday, Last week and A long time ago. Two weeks ago is a long time ago? I remember things that happened two weeks ago. Well, some of them. The more memorable ones. Man, I knew that Internet time was faster than ordinary time, but...
The freakiest part, though, is that, for the first couple of hours after midnight, there is another category: "Tomorrow." The first time I saw that, I thought for sure I was having a Twilight Zone moment!
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/100101/geeklynews/01indira.htm]
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Not Exactly Legal Wizards
Washington Wizards teammates Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton pulled guns on each other in the team's locker room in an apparent argument over a gambling debt. The guns had the Wizards team colours on them. Arenas claimed that he should be suspended because his gun was larger than NBA regulations allow in locker rooms, but Crittenton responded that he was just bragging.
SOURCE: The Schwartz Sports Report
[http://www.schwartzsportsreport.com/ssr-news.shtml#56238133665a]
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Now, Children! Learn How To Share Your Toys And You Might Not Get A Lump Of Terrorist Coal Next Christmas
It has been reported that British security service MI5 had had surveillance linking alleged underwear bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab with Islamic extremists, but that it did not pass this information to American security officials.
"Why should we share information with them?" MI5 pouted. "Ever since the war on terror started, they won't let us play with their key intelligence!"
"Of course we wouldn't let them play with our best intelligence!" the CIA replied. "British intelligence has more leaks than a collander!"
"You bitch!" MI5 shouted.
Then, the two security agencies started pulling each other's hair and slapping each other's faces and had to be forcibly separated. They were told to go their rooms and that they wouldn't be allowed to come out until they learned how to behave like adults.
SOURCE: Daily Semaphore
[http://www.opinion.semaphore.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml;sessionid=M5UF23LBADWOLFFPQFIQMFSM5WAVCBQ0JVC?nextPage=/DUereDE/wXeR.WZvwF?7wF~/DeeD/s119/Os/14/JD141O.7wF!2qZiiv~/DReUeDR/s119/Os/
14/e7DUeReDR.ZvwF!2iG3gimmygi2Z~vg3i&resize=null&_requestid=21213]
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And, The Lord Didst Roll His Eyes, And It Was Ambiguous
And, the Pope didst beseecheth unto the Lord, beseeching: "Oh, Lord, I beseecheth thee: we needeth a new Saint so that the people may ooh and aah and believeth all the more in thy divine divinity, notwithstandingeth thy commandment against idolatry and such like that there."
And the Lord frowned, but respondedeth not, emboldening the Pope to add further: "I was thinking of Pope Pius XII, oh Lord, but he hath a reputation as an obsequist to fascism, an enabler of mass slaughter, and, well, I know that's Your realm, Blessed Be. I was wondering if I mayest pooh pooh the worst of the allegations, sayingeth that on balance he did good in the world. For Thine Eternal Glory, of course."
And the Lord didst look at his watch and bespoketh of time flying and needing to meeteth Oral Roberts for nine holes and proceededeth to make Himself scarce, notwithstandingeth His eternal omnipresence. And, the Pope mutterethed to himself, "Twas good talking to You, Lord. Thanks for the good council. That is what I shall do, then and then, that is what I shall do, too."
SOURCE: The Bible - The Continuing Story
[http://www.thenewestnewtestament.com/the_further_teachings_of_jesus/on_saintliness_and_torture_and_stuff/nnt06_37a.html]
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