Thank you, Big Bill Broonzy, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. We would like to make it clear that we do not in any way support the actions of wacko James von Brunn, who opened fire inside the US Holocaust Museum with rifle, killing a security guard. Any anti-Semitic remarks that we may have made that he could have interpreted as support for his warped view of - well, actually, we have never made any anti-Semitic remarks. However, our calls for the violent overthrow of the United States government may have been - no, we have never called for the violent overthrow of the United States government. Racist attacks on the President? Nope - we didn't do that, either. Holy crap! Von Brunn's actions are so vile that he's even being disowned by people who never supported him in the first place!
Enjoy,Stooge Justice
Omar Khadr's bid to change lawyers has been denied by the judge at his military tribunal. "They kept raising their hands and hitting each other's noses," he complained, on the verge of tears. "And, they kept poking each other in the eyes - please! I just want the eye poking to stop!"
Khadr's lawyers, Navy Lieutenant-Commander Larry Kuebler, Navy Commander Walter "Curly" Ruiz and Naval Ensign Moe Fine, were unavailable for comment.
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1088591001813&call_pageid=968333978492&col=968444972154]
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Snatch The Picture From My Internet Page, Grasshopper
Film and television star David Carradine has died at the age of 72. The B movie industry is in mourning - where will they get male stars for their films now?
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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von Brunn In Hell
You know who is to blame for white supremacist whack job James von Brunn attacking the Holocaust Museum? You got it: liberals. You know why? (pause) Okay, let me put it another way. Barack Obama handily won the popular vote and the electoral college. His policies are popular with the American people. If only he would make some real mistakes, we on the right could call him out on them. But, because he has marginalized moderate conservatives by giving them no ammunition to legitimately attack him because he's just so damned reasonable, the fringe right conservative extremists have taken over. It's true!
SOURCE: Rush Limburger Home Page
[http://www.rushlimburger.com/home/daily/site_061009/content/truth_distorter.hostile_enemy.html]
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Rae Daze
10 to one it's an inside job) Why did Sri Lanka refuse to allow Canadian MP Bob Rae into the country?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Why Racism Should Never Be Left On The Back von Brunner
James von Brunn is giving conspiracy theorists a bad name.
SOURCE: Mike's Ultimate Conspiracy Page
[http://www.ignoremeatyourperil.com/conspiracy2300.html]
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Oh, Ha Ha - Very Other Funny
Miss California Carrie Prejean wasn't fired by pageant boss Donald Trump. She was other employed.
SOURCE: Jennifer's Brain Blorts
[http://weblogger.brainblorts.home.html]
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Aye Of Newt
Newt Gingrich to English translation.
STATEMENT: "White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw." TRANSLATION: "Whoa, doggies! We had to twist that quote 20 different ways to Sunday, but now the Republicans have something to hit Democratic nominee for the Supreme Court Sonia Sotomayor over the head with! Thought the nomination was a slam dunk? Guess again!"
STATEMENT: Gingrich told supporters in a letter that he shouldn't have called Sotomayor a racist, adding that the word had been "perhaps too strong and direct." TRANSLATION: "Republican Congressmen worried that I'm scaring off the Latin vote they need to get reelected in the 2010 mid-term elections have threatened not to let me speak at their parties in Washington if I don't tone down the rhetoric. So, hello toned down rhetoric"
STATEMENT: "When I did a Twitter about her, having read what she said, I said that was racist - but I applied it to her as a person. And the truth is I don't know her as a person. It's clear that what she said was racist, and it's clear - or as somebody wrote recently, 'racialist' if you prefer." TRANSLATION: "Screw it. Republican parties are boring as hell, anyway!"
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=638&dir=bb]
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We Need A Friend. Come on! Be A Palau!
The United States spends more on defense than all of the other countries of the world combined. We imprison more of our population than any other country in the world. We are a nation of tough sumbitches. But, when it comes to accepting Guantanamo Bay inmates who the Army itself says haven't actually done anything terroristic, well, we're just like the coed in her underwear running through the forest to get away from the chainsaw wielding maniac.
"Help me! For the love of - help me! HELP ME! PLEEEEEEEAAASE HELP ME find a home for these innocent people we've held without charge in horrible conditions for over six years."
And, somebody has. The state of Palau is taking as many as 17 of the released Gitmo prisoners. Palau. The country of...umm...
Oh, look. It's easy enough to find Palau. Simply get out a globe...look at the Pacific - right there - take out a magnifying glass...then take out a second magnifying glass and put it in front of the first one! That's how freaking small the island nation is! They've got more plant species than they do citizens, for crying out loud, and they're accepting Guantanamo prisoners because we're too chicken[BEEP] to accept them ourselves!
Really makes you proud to be an American, doesn't it?
SOURCE: The Day To Day Show, with Jon Tudor
[http://www.comedycentric.com/tv_shows/thedaytodayshowwithjontudor/headlines_pol.jhtml]
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