The Daily Me – Mathangi Arulpragasam

Thank you, Mathangi Arulpragasam, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Wow – that's a mouthful. Your name, we mean. If only there was a shortened version of your name, maybe a nickname, something easier to pronounce and remember. Really. We're sure you're a wonderful person, but your name! You might want to think of acronymizing it or something.

Don't Knock Bathroom Fixture Design – It Can Take Months Of Painstaking Effort!

Traditionally, CEOs whose companies have been caught doing illegal things have had two possible lines of defense: 1) yes, I admit that I am corrupt down to the tips of my toes, but I was merely following standard business practices, so don't judge me too harshly, or; 2) I was too stupid to know what was going on at the company I have complete control over. Biovail Corporation fonder Eugene Melnyk has added a third possible response: I lost it in the sun.

Melnyck argued that he was not responsible for the company's failure to meet sales and profit expectations in the third quarter of 2003 because "I look at the bigger picture" and "There's no way I was getting into this kind of detail." If sales and profit aren't part of the big picture, what is?

Other than the design of new fixtures for the CEO's private bathroom and the itinerary of the CEO's private jet, I mean.

SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism

[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/108^.htm]
more

Least Effective Way To Commit Suicide, #327

American F-16 fighter jets tailing a plane that flew erratically from Canada across three states never seriously considered shooting it down because they never seriously considered the Canadian a threat.

That just about sums up the relationship between our two countries, doesn't it?

SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour

[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
more

There May Have Been Several Contributing Factors – What's Your Point?

The day after the President gave his budget to Congress, the stock market dropped 500 points. Of course, my Aunt Irma had her hip rewoven the day the budget came down, so, maybe Irma's surgery was responsible for the stock market drop. Come to think of it, I had a hangnail that day. Could my hangnail be the reason the stock market dropped?

My wife should seriously consider this the next time she refuses to clip one for me.

SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills

[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
more

Sports! Who Can Understand It?

SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1370063028]
more

Your Freedom Fly Is Down, Bill

Well, as of now, I am not going to travel in Spain. In fact, after I heard about this, I made plans to go to Spain just so I could cancel them. Oh, you laugh. But, after I made and then cancelled plans to go to France, tourism there dropped .03 per cent. There are a lot of Factoids out there who follow my lead closely.

If that doesn't work, I think we should change the name of Spanish Fly to Freedom Fly.

SOURCE: The O'Meilly Factor

[http://www.foxynews.com/story/0,2433,98307,00.html]
more

Maybe It Just Swivels On His Neck Like An Owl's Head

How uncomfortable does Stephen Harper appear to be in his own skin? His head looks like it has been Photoshopped onto his body even in photographs of him where it hasn't been.

SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler

[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
more

A Camping Weekend...That You Can Never Return Home From!

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
more

Don't Dismiss That Demographic So Casually: It Is, After All, 78 Per Cent Of The Cough Syrup Market

Fifty-one per cent of Canadians do not want the government to bail out failing automakers, according to an Angus Beef/Toronto Startle poll.

When asked if they would still oppose helping out the auto industry if it meant they would lose their jobs, only 3 per cent of respondents said yes, and two thirds of them were in the not especially sought after "spank me, I've been very naughty, please spank me" demographic.

SOURCE: Toronto Startle

[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1088591631813&call_pageid=968335548492&col=968000972154]
more

Bad Santa Comes Early This Year

Actor and, apparently, musician Billy Bob Thornton was surly and uncooperative in an interview recently, going so far as to insult the interviewer during a concert the next night. No surprise there. The identity of the interviewer is something of a surprise, though: the CBC's Joan Ghomeshi, the Stay Puft marshmallow man of entertainment journalism.

Seriously. It was like Thornton had kicked a puppy. It was like he had ripped the ears off the Easter bunny. It was like he had ripped the ears off the Easter bunny in front of a sold out house of children at the Rogers Centre. It was like he had bought a Vermeer painting just to cut the nose out of the canvas.

If this was her idea of a father figure, it sure explains a lot about Angelina Jolie.

SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!

[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
more

RJ Makes Canadian Judicial History

The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that the government has the right to sift through personal garbage once it is placed outside your house. "If a raccoon can get into your garbage," the Court ruled, "you no longer have an expectation of privacy."

The Canadian Civil Liberties Union has warned that this ruling could be interpreted by courts to include deleted emails. "If the emails in the trash can be read by raccoons," CCLU lawyer Jonathan Lisus pointed out, "you could be in serious trouble."

SOURCE: Glob and Maul

[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090412.eladvote0412_@/BNStory/newsYesWeGarbageCan2009/]
more