Thank you, Asterix57, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Do you have any idea what Pop Tarts do to DVD drives?
Enjoy,I Know You Said You'd Be Willing To Take Ideas From Anywhere, But...
Dear Aaron,
Thank you for your suggestion that we make it rain candy. I have consulted with atmospheric scientists who believe that, with the proper seeding, we can create candy clouds that, under the right conditions, will rain candy. Unfortunately, they believe that their methods will make it possible to rain jawbreakers, not the candy canes for which you have stated a preference.
Rest assured, however, that research continues, with all of the positive implications for the economy that that implies. With a positive attitude and a lot of hard work, I believe we may, in the future, turn this raining candy thing around.
Yours,SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/1080963828024753794637486482cahs01.html]
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Did She Swallow, Or Did She Spitzer?
I just saw a picture of Ashley Dupre at a New York fashion show. Are you kidding me? She's a babe! I would totally humiliate myself and my family and throw away a promising career as a straight-laced crusading district attorney for her! Not that I have a family. Or, for that matter, a promising career as a straight-laced crusading district attorney. It's the principle of the thing.
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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Steele Yourself For The Future
A Steele At Half the Price
Don't speak Ebonics, don't wear no froSOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/258.html]
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Faith Based Justice
The Canadian government is being urged to adopt the British policy where suspected terrorists can be deported to countries that torture as long as its government assures us that it won't actually torture them. This is based on the premise that a country may torture, but it certainly wouldn't lie about it.
When was Pollyanna Nicholson elected Minister of Justice?
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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There Was So Much Applause, The Price Of Hand Lotion Doubled In One Hour
Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down.
That was a Presidential speech? It felt more like shul!
SOURCE: The Arad Post
[http://www.apost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=APost/APArticle/ShowFull&cid=1094851590238]
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Speak Microsoftly, And The Size Of The Stick You Carry Doesn't Matter
Microsoft Corporation is asking some of the 1,400 workers it fired in January to pay back part of their severance pay, which the company claims was too high. Microsoft blames an "administrative glitch" for the overpayments.
Any guesses as to whose software was responsible for the mistake?
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/090221/geeklynews/01boromir.htm]
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Jindal Or Nothing?
BOBBY JINDAL: My father grew up in one of the poorest areas in India. How bad was it? It made Slumdog Millionaire look like How To Marry a Millionaire. Here in the US, when we would shop for tacos at the local grocery store, we were astonished by how much variety, how much choice there was. When my father used to tell us stories about how life was for him when he was growing up, the moral was always: "India sucks. Never go back there." Why am I telling you this in response to President Barack Obama's speech to Congress? Because it's important for Americans to know that Republicans can have heart-warming ethnic heritages, too.
I was a Senator from Louisiana when Katrina attacked New Orleans. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had my finger in a levee for 72 hours, waiting for the federal government to send somebody to relieve me. Hungry and exhausted, I didn't have the energy to resist when federal Marshalls pulled me away. Of course, we all know the flooding that soon followed. That was when I learned just how useless government bureaucrats can be. Every day of my life, I am ashamed to be one of them. So ashamed, in fact, that if you call me Governor, I will deny it. And, if I am elected President in 2012, I will deny that, too, although maybe not quite so loud.
The President's economic recovery plan, with all of its spending to create jobs is all fine and well in the short term, but we know what really creates permanent jobs: international trade agreements and tax cuts. Tax cuts were responsible for winning World War II. Tax cuts paid for landing a man on the moon. Tax cuts paid for the Medicare system we need to privatize. I shave with tax cuts every morning. Tax cuts got my cat down from a tree. Tax cuts fixed the broken axle of my Hummer. Tax cuts will help you lose 30 pounds – 50 with an international trade agreement thrown in! There is nothing that tax cuts can't do. And, that's change you can believe in!
SOURCE: Weekends!
[http://www.nobc.com/Weekends/video/play.shtml?mea=227187]
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Bad Faith Based Justice
Members of the legal team of Guantanamo detainee Omar Khadr are being investigated by the American military on suspicion of being members of the legal team of Guantanamo detainee Omar Khadr. "Umm, yes," deputy chief defense lawyer Michael Berrigan responded to the charges. "We are members of the legal team of Guantanamo detainee Omar Khadr. That was kind of the point."
"They're not making this any easier on themselves," said an unnamed Guantanamo prosecutor whose code name among journalists is "Squiggy."
Meanwhile, Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon, after a meeting with American Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, stated, "I have indicated today the government of Canada fully respects the process that the American government has put forward, and we will await the outcome of that process before anything takes place."
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090225.eladvote0102_@/BNStory/newAndJusticeForNone2009/]
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He's Got Horseshoes Up It
Why hasn't Karl Rove's subpoena-ignoring ass been thrown in jail yet?
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/95^.htm]
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