The Daily Me - E. Gary Gygax

Thank you, E. Gary Gygax, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Did you know that Midnight Oil is now considered classic rock. Midnight Oil classic rock? WHEN THE HELL DID WE GET SO OLD? Somebody needs to kill Peter Garrett so he can start spinning in his grave.

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Voting For McCain Would Be Like Cutting Your Nose To Spite All Women's Faces

Q: Sarah Palin wants to end a woman's right to choose to have an abortion. She believes so firmly in creationism that she doesn't even bother to dress it up in intellectual finery by calling it "intelligent design." She loves guns. She opposes gay marriage. She is currently being investigated about her role in efforts by her husband and senior staff to pressure the state's public safety commissioner to fire her ex-brother-in-law from the state troopers after his messy divorce from her sister. She was reportedly part of an organization that wanted Alaska to secede from the American union. Yet, she was John McCain's choice for running mate. Do Republicans think women are stupid?

A: No. Republicans think all voters are inherently stupid. They only recently decided that they might be able to apply this knowledge to women specifically.

SOURCE: Big Alex' Domesday Countdown Page

[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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The End Of Summer Ritual Gets A Gen X Makeover

Seeing Is Believing

I Saw George Stroumboulopoulos in the Food Building at the CNE
          I wanted to ask him why he introduced Tony Iommi (who wasn't there) when he interviewed Chris Martin (who was) in the clip from his show screened before movies
                  But I didn't

I Saw George Stroumboulopoulos checking out the Tilt-a-Whirl at the Exhibition
          I wanted to ask him why somebody so cool so often looks so uncomfortable on camera
                    But I didn't

I Saw George Stroumboulopoulos walking through the Garden Show at the Ex
          I wanted to ask him if he really thought helping the CBC get a youth audience was worth covering up all his tattoos
                    But I didn't

Because he could probably eat me for breakfast
And I like living

SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered

[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/238.html]
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Venn Diagrams Really Can Explain Anything

Why is it almost impossible to find a good comedy on a Saturday night? This simple diagram should make it clear.

A represents the universe of film comedy
B represents the sub-section of the universe of comedy that includes all of the embarrassingly bad films (ie: Daddy Daycare and RV)
C represents the sub-section of the universe of comedy that includes all of the embarrassingly bad films you would enjoy if you were a 15 year-old boy (ie: Date Movie and Disaster Movie and, in fact, pretty much any film with 'movie' in the title)
D represents the sub-section of the universe of comedy that includes all of the bad films that could be considered 'guilty pleasures' (ie: Caddyshack)
E represents middle-of-the-road, middle-brow comedies that offer enough laughs that you could claim to have enjoyed them without being too embarrassed (ie: When Harry Met Sally)
F represents the truly great film comedies (ie: Annie Hall and Sherlock, Jr. )

Any physicist worth his salt will tell you that the universe is expanding. While the number of bad comedies grows exponentially, the much smaller number of good comedies grows arithmetically; thus, the number of good comedies is shrinking as an overall percentage of the universe of comedies.

The conclusion? Nine out of 10 physicists agree: if you want a great screen comedy, find it in the DVD section of your local video store.

SOURCE: Entertainment for Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/home.asp?did=497&dir=bb]
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So, The Fact That Toyota Gave You Seventeen Free Cars Instead Of The One You Get Each Year From GM Had Nothing To Do With Your Choice?

Okay, let's get one thing straight: I love American cars. I've driven American cars for as long as I've been an American. Longer. But, let's face it: they've been sneaking around my back. They've been cooing sweet nothings into the ears of Chinese factories and they've been seen hanging out on street corners with European parts manufacturers. Frankly, I was hurt. So, sure, I'm driving a Toyota instead of a GM car. And, I'm not going back until American car manufacturers treat me with the love and respect somebody as loyal as I have been deserves!

SOURCE: The O'meilly Factor

[http://www.foxynews.com/story/0,2473,96567,00.html]
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In Theology, As In Prosperity, Timing Is Everything

There are many old-line theologians who disdain "prosperity theology," a branch - no, more of a twig of Christianity that preaches that only the most devout will be financially well off (and, conversely, that if you're poor in money, it's because you're poor in faith). Disgraced former evangelist turned motivational speaker Pat "Oral" Righteous is not one of them.

"People kept saying I was corrupt," Righteous wryly commented. "I wasn't corrupt. I was ahead of the curve"

SOURCE: Unicycle

[http://www.unicycle.com/new.php?p=articles&id=447&but=allis1]
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It's Not An Election Ploy - It's A High-fibre, Wing-tipped Hermit Crab

"Once again we have [Premier] Dalton McGuinty running a government with the highest taxes on business investment in Canada, and taxing all businesses, as I say, at the highest rate, and then selecting which businesses, which corporations, he wants to subsidize. That is certainly not out approach federally." - Finance Minister Jim Flaherty

 "Windsor bailout no pre-vote ploy, Harper says" - Toronto Star headline

SOURCE: Economics For Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummieshome.asp?did=497&dir=bb]
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File Under: Ouch!

An investigation by federal Information Commissioner Robert Marleau has found that government agencies have labeled files that have the potential to embarrass the government as "sensitive," often delaying their release to the public. However, the government has denied the charges.

"Have you ever had to deal with sensitive files?" Assistant to the Deputy Sub-Minister for Public Misinformation Stan Musial commented. "Make an innocuous comment about how much they weigh, and they scurry behind a cabinet and refuse to come out! I said one would look really good on the evening news one time and it pouted for weeks because it didn't believe I was sincere enough!

"Believe me, the public is better off not having to deal with these sensitive files!"

SOURCE: The Irrational

[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2008/08/33/maybeitstheirtimeofmonth080833]
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Did You Need The Puree Setting To Mix Those Messages?

"McCain campaign alleges sexism" - Toronto Star headline

 "Shortly after the news conference, the McCain campaign unveiled a new button in the Xcel Center, touting Palin as "The Hottest VP." - quote from a Toronto Star article

SOURCE: Politics for Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=597&dir=bb]
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