Thank you, Sharita Stakofsky, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. We couldn’t help but notice that most of the subjects of your search are Canadian. What? American news not good enough for you? This is just the kind of smug arrogance that makes your neighbours want to come over there and slap you in the face with their atomic weapons! Tell you what. We’re peace-loving people…mostly…if not pushed…on a good day… Anyway, we’re willing to give you another chance. Go back to the forms and, this time, fill them out properly!
Enjoy,You Know You’re In Trouble When Paid Political Announcements Are Indistinguishable From Soap Ads
I work hard for my money, and I don’t mind paying taxes if I think the government is doing the right thing. So, what does Ontario Premier – okay, equal rights for gays, not so much. And, Indians, well, they already sucked so much of my heard-earned dollars out of the system – no more. In fact, the whole multicultural thing needs to go. Immigrants should come here already speaking English.
And, while I’m on the subject, I’m not that keen on provincially sponsored daycare. My children are all grown, why should I contribute to the upbringing of somebody else’s little bastards? Let ‘em figure it out on their own. And, roads? Feh! Who needs ‘em? I never get out any more – have all my groceries and personal needs delivered right to the door. Let those gas-guzzling bastards who’re destroying the environment figure out how to get from one place to another on their own and stop sucking on the government’s teat!
So, uhh, given all that, what does Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty not understand about government accountability?
SOURCE: CanWest Blowhole
[http://www.canada.com/blowholetv.html]
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That Would Make Most Of Canada Out Of Bounds – Maybe It Can Trade Mission Statements With CSIS
Given accusations of incompetence and cover-ups, how bad is the reputation of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police becoming? A judge is considering throwing out a case of jaywalking against a New Brunswick woman because an RCMP officer was three blocks away!
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070515.eladvote0102_@/BNStory/newsRCMPpee2007/]
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Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That…Apparently
Green Party leader Elizabeth May says that Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s accusation that she claimed he supports driving 30 million Canadians to starvation on collective farms is outrageous. “I said that his way of taking quotes out of context to attack his opponents was Stalinesque. I was comparing one aspect of him to Stalin, not his entire leadership.”
After a moment, May ruefully added, “I would say that his irrational response to criticism rivals that of Mao Tse Tung, but I’m afraid he would claim I was accusing him of purging intellectuals from the country!”
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1028593691813&call_pageid=968331567492&col=968355772154]
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Better Bouffant, Still A Buffoon
Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day told the House of Commons public safety committee that he wants to get back the extraordinary anti-terror police powers of “investigative hearings” and “preventive arrest.”
Is he on crack?
I wouldn’t trust Day with the keys to the jetski.
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like an Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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With Friends Like These, Better To Slit Your Wrists Now
Love Letter To The Apostate
Is it any wonder that we, the press, love Irshad Manji?We applaud her rhetorical spree
I wouldn’t want to raise her dander
Isrhad calls ‘em as she sees ‘em
Irshad, dear Irshad, you’re the sort of person we love to embrace:
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/183.html]
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If you Thought His Ego Was Big Before…!
9pm. CTV. Supercop. Crane Bumwell singlehandedly brings down a chapter of the Hells Angels, testifies at the conspiracy trial of a mob boss and fights against City Hall’s attempts to investigate members of the police union for allegations of brutality and corruption. Then, he has lunch. “Oh, yeah,” Craig Bromwell enthuses, “this episode is the most accurate portrayal of my life yet!”
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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Is It Right That Those Who Are Not Smitten Get Smited?
God Is Not GreatThe End of Faith
The God Delusion
review by GOD
Consider yourselves smited.
Oh, and, if you think you’re getting into heaven, you’re the ones who are delusional!
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.41.28/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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Honey, They Shrunk My Newspaper! Again!
The new width of the Toronto Startle will be 1.5 inches across, a full half an inch less than the Glob and Maul after its recent redesign! This will make the newspaper much easier for people with palsy to hold. Not only that, but combined with 52.3 point type for the body, the paper will only be able to carry one word per line, fantastic for those whose eyesight is failing and/or whose dementia is causing them to lose their facility with the English language!
The Toronto Startle: We Know Who Our Readers Are, And We’re With Them To The End
SOURCE: Wryerson Journalism Review
[http://www.wryerson.ca/wrj/]
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Or, Maybe Not
Ontario’s new “Flick Off” campaign, which encourages people to close their lights and appliances when they leave a room, has come under criticism for its vulgarity. I suspect, given that all people are essentially egotists at heart, that a slight change in design might quell the criticisms:
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
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