Step into new worlds and read news dispatches from the Alternate Reality News Service, which regularly gets the scoop on The Associated Press, Reuters and the rest of the competition. In a series of articles written by the wire service’s handpicked reporters, you’ll read satirical reports that give glimpses into the relationship between humanity, technology and Robert Novak’s eyebrows. Who would have ever thought that an intelligent undershirt could be the key witness in a murder trial? Or that a man could possibly be sued by his lover for not lying about himself online? Or that a computer chip could be implanted into the brains of criminals so that every time they thought about committing a heinous deed, they sang a show tune? If this is all news to you, then you must not be a subscriber.