Your Fifteen Minutes Are Up
"Hello, this is Rex Veneer on special assignment for Entertainment Right Now," the interviewer says, smiling broadly for the camera. "Today, I'm going to interview the latest punk rock teen…
Conversations Overheard at the Corner of Yonge and Bloor
"Oh, those are very pretty..." "It's just a lot of cheap junk. Come on." "No. I want to look at them. What are these?" "Earrings, miss." "They're just pieces of…
Strange Priorities
"The fighting between rebel Contras and the Sandinista government in Nicaragua has been escalating since the United States Congress agreed to send aid to the so-called freedom fighters. Casualty estimates…
The Boy President Who Cried Commie
Ronnie Reagan, boy President, stood in a field, screaming at the top of his lungs and crying. At length, several Congressmen from the town could no longer ignore his cried,…
Mr. and Mrs. Frump Play the Numbers
Mrs. Frump had a dream. Sometimes, when she walked down the street, she mumbled parts of it to herself, ignoring, as she had long ago trained herself to do, the…
New Directions In Parliamentary Entertainment
Have you ever watched Question Period, the televised proceedings of Parliament? Oh, sure, we've all laughed at the way the Members of Parliament look and sound like seals when they…
Twisted Telephone
"Hello...?" "Hello. Is Jackie there?" "No, I'm sorry, she isn't." "Oh. Do you know where she is?" "I'm afraid not." "Oh. Can I leave a message?" "Sure." "Tell her Ira…
Professor Blunderson Dissects the Home Team
A few nights ago, I was about to sit down to eat dinner with my family when I received a phone call. In all innocence, I took the receiver from…
Money Comes In, Money Goes Out
Out of Ottawa they rode, the fearsome three who were given a mandate (not mandated, as the common speech might have it) to clean up this country, right wrongs and…
A Moment In Time
As you read this, 12 pitchers in ball parks around the world are going into their wind-ups. Seven will throw balls; four will deliver strikes. One pitcher will be taken…
Letters to Playtoy Magazine
I am a 13 year-old male, and I have been reading your fine magazine since I was six. But, never, in all those years, have I seen such a magnificent…
Always Smile at a Child
I always smile at children when I have contact with them. In a subway, in a shopping mall or in any public place where tiny tots are being wheeled around…