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Tim was sitting behind a kitchen table, morosely poking his spoon into a bowl of cereal. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a deep voice boomed out: "Tim Vera, how's your love…
Mr. And Mrs. Frump Go Shopping
Mr. and Mrs. Frump were sitting in their hovel, not doing much of anything, when Mrs. Frump was hit with the urge to go shopping. "We haven't bought anything new…
A Fantasy of Untold Power
Their names would probably mean nothing to you, assuming, for a moment, that you could pronounce them at all. They were two members of the Cosmic Cleaning Crew. Let's call…
Fools and Heroes
I don't think that the 60s and 70s were an especially strange time for a young boy to be growing up. On the other hand, I was a pretty strange…
Great Unanswered Questions Changing
Ottawa - Have you ever gazed up into the stars on a warm summer's night and seriously wondered what man's place in the universe is? According to a recently released…
Having a Political Ball
The dinner party's eager host Was looking rather pink; He didn't answer when spoken to He didn't even blink. The guests, of course, would never know He'd had too much…
Conversations Overheard in an Eatery on Queen Street
"I asked my shrink why I was having so much trouble winning at Trivial Pursuit." "Oh? Yeah?" "He told me that I had performance anxiety, that I blocked things I…
Society Says…
Society says: respect and fear all authority. Good. Society says: all men will be five 11 to six three, blond, blue-eyed, tanned and muscular and have perfect teeth, no body…
Professor Blunderson Explains It All For You
I never agree with Professor Blunderson. When the Professor, an old teacher of mine, told me that he was going to invest in a company that made concrete umbrellas to…
The Sounds of Suburbs
Hello backyard, my old friend It's nice to sit in you again As the temperature starts rising From all my cares I am hiding And believe that the sound of…
Small Talk
"Hi, Frank." "Hi, Jack. How are things?" "Not bad." "How's your wife, Melissa?" "She's fine." "And, your children, Jacqueline and Fritz?" "The little one is having nightmares, which means that…
Vive la Difference!
In the past few years, there has been a lot of talk about the possibility of Canada becoming economically and culturally a part of the United States. Such talk, which…