Introduction: The Man Who Makes Fun of Everything
Ever since I was little, I wanted to make fun of everything. This was a problem because, of course, everything is bigger than I am. And, it had a headstart.…
You Say Contracting Out…I Say Union Busting…
Language is the only tool human being employ which changes even as we use it (try that with a monkey wrench!). As the pace of human development speeds up, it…
Polymorph Is Perverse
Have you ever wondered why British and American recording artists seem to have a much better chance of becoming internationally successful than Canadian recording artists? It's not difficult to see…
This Gall Bladder Operation Has Been Brought To You By…
ITEM: Women's College Hospital accepted $1 million from infant formula maker Mead Johnson Canada in return for a 10 year contract allowing it to distribute its products to women who…
Sand Neutral and the Seven…Uhh…Uhh…
Once upon a time there was a young girl named Snow White -- "You can't write that." "Excuse me?" "You can't tell a story about somebody named Snow White." "Why…
The New Old Ball Game
Americans are perverse. There is no other way to explain it. They have created a sport based on slow rhythms, the building of tension over a long period of time,…
Further Conventional Coverage
Progressive Conservative Party leadership conventions have traditionally been the closest thing in Canadian politics to throwing people to the lions. So, naturally, all the television networks want to bring the…
Blessed are the Dealmakers
Yeah...hello? Can I speak ta Jack Carpenter? Me? I'm his...lawyer, okay? Who da hell are you? Yeah. Okay... Hey, watch what youse does with dat table, it's a antique, okay?…
Minding Hollywood’s Business
After a brief false start, the expedition to read all of Julia Phillips' You'll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again is about to begin. Page 1. Faux third person…
Farewell Tour ’93
"A Prime Minister can be either successful or popular.." "What if he's neither?" "Hey! If I had wanted criticism, I could have stayed at home!" "Sorry." The Talk Show Host…
The First Thousand Seconds
Good evening. Welcome to this Deadline News Special Report: The Clinton Administration: The First Thousand Seconds. I'm your host, Rex Veneer. Bill Clinton has been President of the United States…
Ross the Boss
Some Americans just can't seem to get enough of election campaigns. There can be no other explanation for H. Ross Perot's kicking off the 1996 Presidential campaign a mere three…