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The Trump Dump:
Exploring the Donald’s Mind So You Don’t Have To

Trump Always Reminded Me Of The Dog That Caught The Butterfly That Would Explain The "Why Am I Tasting Something Awful?" Look He Often Has Do you imagine that former…

The Three Wise Men Ponder Initial Conditions

INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN is sitting on a couch in the Oval Office. Opposite him sit the three wise men, RICK, RORY and ANKOUSH. RICK Mister…

Cover Stories Need to Get Their…You Knows Straight

When you order desert online, you could be said to be buying pie a la modem... There is a crack in the window, much as it panes me to say…

Cover Me – I’m Going Out!

My favourite American President/discount vinyl dealer: JFKTel... When you do a personal Tarot reading on your yacht, do you consult a private deck on your private deck? You say you…

How to Deal With the Opposition’s Vice Presidential Pick the Republican Way

1.Has the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee chosen a running mate? NO2.Continue attacking the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee. When you've got a good thing going, don't overthink it. YES3.Attack the personal…

Flooding the Zone With Deplorable

Come on! Everybody knows the name of Kamala - I mean, the economy is the strongest it has been in a long - oh, really? The only weave you have…

It’s Time for Closing Statements, Then The Republicans Are Gonna Party Like It’s 1939

The last couple of weeks of a presidential campaign are a time for candidates to make their closing arguments to the voters, to say to any of those who remain…

An Article I’d Rather Not Write (And to Be Fair, You’re Probably Not Going to Want to Read)

I have a hernia. Not a hurty kind of hernia, you understand. No, I have the other, (mostly) non-hurty kind of hernia. What? You didn't know there was a (usually…

Pulp NASFIC-tion

North American Stochastic Fetchers Fiction Convention? North American Stereotypical Filanderers Fiction Convention? North American Stunning Fishmongers Fiction Convention? Gimme A Second And It'll Come To Me... Last week, I jetted…

A Joke Only a Boomer Could Love:
Contents

You Got Your Headlines in My Tweets! 1. Headlines Are Nervous About Meeting Your Parents, But Kind Of Excited, Too... 2. Headlines Found The Public Bathroom in Downtown Toronto Seconds…