Articles – Page 18 – Les Pages Aux Folles

Momsicles^TM? Don’t Try to Keep One In Your Freezer! [ARNS]

by LAURIE NEIDERGAARDEN, Alternate Reality News Service Medical Writer The principle that zombies should not be allowed to vote in federal elections is widely accepted by Vesampuccerians. Zombies are notoriously…

It’s Musk Versus Trump – The Grudge Match of the News Cycle!

Hmm...I Don't Think Calling You An Antisemite Will Be Effective In This Situation Give Me A Moment... Ahem...Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi *SPRITZ* NAAAAAAAZIIIIIIIIII! Ron…

The Man Behind the Mask Isn’t Who You Think She Is [ARNS]

by HAL MOUNTSAUERKRAUTEN, Alternate Reality News Service Justice Writer Morgana Laplumedematan was rushing down the street on her way to H. R. Cupnstuff, the coffee shop where she worked at…

The Four Horsemen Butcher to Differ [ARNS]

SPECIAL TO THE ALTERNATE REALITY NEWS SERVICE Transcript of a meeting between PRESIDENT RONALD MCDRUHITMUMPF, VICE PRESIDENT JD ONVANCEWARPEDTUR, SECRETARY OF STATE MARCO RUBYDUBIO and SECRETARY OF STATE PETE HEDAIGGSETHATIVE…

As Brian Mulroney Truly Said: There’s No Whore Like a War Whore

Actually, There Are Lots Of Militaries That COULD Do It, Or Something Similar It's Just That None Of Their Governments Are Suicidal Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump We have completed our…

Justice? No Way, Jo…seph! I Was Going to Say Joseph! [ARNS]

by HAL MOUNTSAUERKRAUTEN, Alternate Reality News Service Justice Writer Tommy Gimmegommygoo was a typical fortysomething hanging out with the Jackshithappenson State University crowd at the local Bob So Tasty burger…

Headlines Sang “Don’t Fear the Bookization”
Nobody Understood the Reference

Vast Majority Of Islamophobic Disinformation Coming From Batshit Crazy Right, Report I Just Pulled Out Of My Ass Finds At Least I Won't Have To Look For Toilet Paper... "Vast…

Elon Wanted a Pony For Christmas, But All He Got Was This Lousy Social Network

Resident President Benjamin Netanyahu, Sean Hannity And Laura Loomer Be Afraid Be Very Afraid Jonathan Cook @Jonathan_K_Cook Scott Ritter, former UN weapons inspector in Iraq, asks the question we should…

Elon Musk Wanted a Title, But the Royal Family Wasn’t THAT Hard Up For Cash

And Then He Will Rescind The Diplomatic Consequences And Then He Will Reinstate The Diplomatic Consequences At A Fraction Of Their Cost And Then He Will Say He Will Rescind…

The Steppinfetchittford Cabinet [ARNS]

by FRANCIS GRECOROMACOLLUDEN, Alternate Reality News Service National Politics Writer What do the following statements have in common? 1. "Sir, I cannot begin to describe what an honour and a…

Elon Musk Said Bad Things About Trump’s Budget
Could This Be – OH, LOOK, IMMIGRATION BAN PLACED ON A DOZEN COUNTRIES!

Does Stephen Miller Know About This? Geiger Capital @Geiger_Capital TRUMP now making exceptions to deportations: "People who've been here for 20-25 years and worked great and the owner of the…

Knowhow? No How! [ARNS]

by FRANCIS GRECOROMACOLLUDEN, Alternate Reality News Service National Politics/Government Deconstruction Writer When they set out to make a cabinet, most people are not carpenters and can't be bothered. But, uhh,…