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Charlie, We Too Well Knew Ye [ARNS]

by HAL MOUNTSAUERKRAUTEN, Alternate Reality News Service Crime Writer Pacing back and forth on a stage in front of his "Prove Me Duh" booth, Right-wing pundit Charlie Kirkindagonads was giving…
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By the Sun’s Early Gaslight

In President Donald Trump's first term, there were adults in the room. So, when he said, "The sun is purple," there were people around him who would take him aside…
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Me, Gen X? No! Eugenics! [ARNS]

by LAURIE NEIDERGAARDEN, Alternate Reality News Service Medical Writer They say the government will kill you, but they never say when. Fortunately, Vegas bookmakers are willing to take that bet,…
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Antacid Won’t Help When History Repeats on You [ARNS]

by INDIRA CHARUNDER-MACHARRUNDEIRA, Alternate Reality News Service Fine Arts Jackie Galpalleraga understood why Immigration Corralling and Expulsing Service (ICES) agents (probably...maybe...well, that's who they said they were, anyway...) assaulted him…
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The Big Whup…With Maps [ARNS]

by FRANCIS GRECOROMACOLLUDEN, Alternate Reality News Service National Politics/Government Deconstruction Writer Texconsin Reduhblicans: "Both sides gerrymander districts, so what's the big whup if we do it to take five seats…
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May I Not Quote You?

The Founding Fathers And Jesus Are In A Race To See Who Weeps First "See, we are the first nation in the history of the world that acknowledged our rights…