Tell Headlines No Truths, They’ll Tell You They Know No Shame
When We've Used Up The World's Fresh Water, Tariffs Will Exacerbate The Problem Remember The Scene In Mad Max Where He Wants To Shoot The Main Villain, But Because Of…
The Daily Me – Buggage had a daughter named Easter.
Thank you, Buggage had a daughter named Easter., for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that…
Sorry to Rune the Fun For You, But… [ARNS]
by INDIRA CHARUNDER-MACHARRUNDEIRA, Alternate Reality News Service Fine Arts/Literature Writer One wondrous aspect of being in a cult (if, by "wondrous" you mean "utterly baffling to your enemies in a…
Ask Amritsar How to Stay In Your Ghislaine [ARNS]
Dear Amritsar, I've been doing a five and dime in a Federal Prison Camp in Bryanhiandi, Texucky. Yeah, I was snatched for throwing a Molotov cocktail at a raccoon and…
TwitterX: Where Toxic Selfishness Goes To Get A Sitzbath
Kirk, Out Absolutely Charlie Kirk Was Bludgeoned To Death By The Solid Body Of A Democrat But Of Course, If Frozen Democrats Were Outlawed, Only Outlaws Would Carry Frozen Democrats…
Thoughtlessness and Not a Prayer [ARNS]
by DIMSUM AGGLOMERATIZATONALISTICALISM, Alternate Reality News Service International Politics Writer "I'm disappointed in Rupert Mountkilamanjoy." "I'm really disappointed in Rupert Mountkilamanjoy." "Oh, now I am super duper, double dare ya…
Things We Do in the Shadow Docket [ARNS]
by HAL MOUNTSAUERKRAUTEN, Alternate Reality News Service Crime/Court/Justice/Grift Writer The Extreme Court is supposed to rule on precedent. If, for example, a law that criminalized the punching of horses on…
Charlie Hoarse
For the online right, Charlie Kirk's "martyrdom" is just trollin', But that's not true for New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan. He offered the opinion, which was sure to appall, That…
The Daily Me – Darth Grabinsky
Thank you, Darth Grabinsky, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you…
The Secretary of High Fives Can Be Evasive [ARNS]
by MARA VERHEYDEN-HILLIARD, Alternate Reality News Service War Writer On a screen in the Octagon, a white triangle bobs on a sea of grey. The effect is soothing, almost hypnotic,…
TwitterX Was BitterX That It Didn’t Have Enough HitlerX
The American Death Cult Eats Its Own Consistency Is The Hobgoblin Of Foolish Journalists Leah V. LeahVredenbregt Nancy Mace's very first words to reporters on Charlie Kirk was "democrats own…
Weekend at Ronnie’s [ARNS]
by LAURIE NEIDERGAARDEN, Alternate Reality News Service Medical Writer Ronald McDruhitmumpf, President of the United States of Vesampucceri, Knight of the Red Garter Snake, Defender of the Everdisloyal Insurrectionists, has…