Legally Electronbondi [ARNS]
by FRANCIS GRECOROMACOLLUDEN, Alternate Reality News Service National Politics Writer There was once a general rule in Washburningdington that it was a bad idea to be cited for contempt of…
TwitterX: Endless Hours of Fun For the Low, Low Price of Your Sanity
Halloween Came Early This Year I'll Bet They Met Cringe Republicans against Trump @RpsAgainstTrump Watters: You're married to Stephen Miller. You're the envy of all women. Miller: The sexual matador,…
GAME OVER! If You Want to Play Vesampuccerian Idiotocracy Again, Please Insert A Quarter Million Trillion Dollars Into the Slot [ARNS]
by FRANCIS GRECOROMACOLLUDEN, Alternate Reality News Service National Politics/Government Deconstruction Writer Ronald McDruhitmumpf has announced that he will be running for a third term as president. Oh, he hasn't announced…
The Daily Me – Halloween Humbuggage
Thank you, Halloween Humbuggage, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you…
State of Comedy No Laughing Matter [ARNS]
by AIDANDREW PUFFPEESADDER, Alternate Reality News Service Comedy Writer First, they came for Weekends!, but I did nothing because I hadn't watched it in years (and, anyway, it was during…
And The TwitterX Goes On, And The TwitterX Goes On…
Not Much Fun When The Jackboot Is On The Other Foot, Is It? The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller ILLINOIS - BROADVIEW POLICE CHIEF ON ICE: "I was shocked. I've never been…
Groundhog Day of the Dead [ARNS]
by ELMORE TERADONOVICH, Alternate Reality News Service Film and Television Writer Groundhog Day of the Dead starring Bill Murraydontworry and Andie MacDowelldonthowl written by Harold Ramisdontblamus and Danny Rubinthabigcitee directed…
What the Heck Do You Know? About Warren Peace in the Middle East
1) US President Donald Trump ordered Israel to stop bombing Gaza after Hamas accepted some aspects of his proposed peace plan. What made Trump think he had the authority to…
The Daily Me – Theanderblast Mischgedeigle Sump
Thank you, Theanderblast Mischgedeigle Sump, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile…
Grudge Dread [ARNS]
by HAL MOUNTSAUERKRAUTEN, Alternate Reality News Service Crime Writer Charlie Duffgrovceceren was a door-to-door used silver lining salesman. (When, in 2018, the Vesampuccerian Dream officially became out of reach of…
TwitterX Hates Being the Runt of the LitterX, Which Makes It No QuitterX
Perfectly Normal Thing For A President To Say Remember When President Lincoln Called Stephen Douglas "A Person Of Minimal Intelligence" Who "Should Return To England, If They Would But Have…
The Art of the WTF‽ [ARNS]
by GIDEON GINRACHMANJINJa-VITUS, Alternate Reality News Service Economics Writer Whether it's with your landlord, your partner, your boss, your schoolteacher, your goldfish sitter or your god, anybody who has ever…