by FRANCIS GRECOROMACOLLUDEN, Alternate Reality News Service National Politics Writer There was once a general rule in Washburningdington that it was a bad idea to be cited for contempt of…
Halloween Came Early This Year I'll Bet They Met Cringe Republicans against Trump @RpsAgainstTrump Watters: You're married to Stephen Miller. You're the envy of all women. Miller: The sexual matador,…
by FRANCIS GRECOROMACOLLUDEN, Alternate Reality News Service National Politics/Government Deconstruction Writer Ronald McDruhitmumpf has announced that he will be running for a third term as president. Oh, he hasn't announced…
Thank you, Halloween Humbuggage, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you…
by AIDANDREW PUFFPEESADDER, Alternate Reality News Service Comedy Writer First, they came for Weekends!, but I did nothing because I hadn't watched it in years (and, anyway, it was during…
Not Much Fun When The Jackboot Is On The Other Foot, Is It? The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller ILLINOIS - BROADVIEW POLICE CHIEF ON ICE: "I was shocked. I've never been…
by ELMORE TERADONOVICH, Alternate Reality News Service Film and Television Writer Groundhog Day of the Dead starring Bill Murraydontworry and Andie MacDowelldonthowl written by Harold Ramisdontblamus and Danny Rubinthabigcitee directed…
1) US President Donald Trump ordered Israel to stop bombing Gaza after Hamas accepted some aspects of his proposed peace plan. What made Trump think he had the authority to…
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by HAL MOUNTSAUERKRAUTEN, Alternate Reality News Service Crime Writer Charlie Duffgrovceceren was a door-to-door used silver lining salesman. (When, in 2018, the Vesampuccerian Dream officially became out of reach of…
Perfectly Normal Thing For A President To Say Remember When President Lincoln Called Stephen Douglas "A Person Of Minimal Intelligence" Who "Should Return To England, If They Would But Have…
by GIDEON GINRACHMANJINJa-VITUS, Alternate Reality News Service Economics Writer Whether it's with your landlord, your partner, your boss, your schoolteacher, your goldfish sitter or your god, anybody who has ever…