FADE IN:
MONTAGE: typical Canadian scenes: the sun setting over fields of wheat; canoeists paddling through the Rocky Mountains; street signs where the English words are no bigger than two thirds the size of the French words; etc.
CANDIDATE
(voice over)
Canada. It’s a great country.
EXT. FOREST – DAY
The Candidate sits on a stump in the forest, a golden glow framing his head. He addresses the camera.
CANDIDATE
I love this great country of ours. This Canada. Our people. Our strength of purpose. Our…our trees.
INT. HOCKEY ARENA – DAY
As the people around him cheer, the Candidate turns to the camera to talk.
CANDIDATE
I want to make Canada even more Canadian. The [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S PARTY HERE] has an agenda that would promote more of the things Canadians believe in, and ignore those things that Canadians tell us are not…you know, Canadian.
The man sitting next to the Candidate spills a drink on his pants.
MAN
Sorry, man.CANDIDATE
(mutters)
That’s going to leave a stain…
EXT. AIRPORT TARMAC – DAY
The Candidate stands on an airport landing strip. A few feet behind him stand men, women and children of all ages, colours and ethnic backgrounds, carefully chosen to represent the demographics of the country as delineated by the last census. They appear friendly, but serious. The whole scene is bathed in a warm summer glow.
CANDIDATE
On election day, vote for the [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S PARTY HERE]. We promise to give Canadians more of what they want.
INSERT: CLOSE-UP of [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S PARTY HERE] logo.
ANNOUNCER
(voice over)
The [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S PARTY HERE]…CANDIDATE
(voice over)
Giving Canadians more of what they want.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN:
MONTAGE: typical Canadian scenes: the sun setting over fields of wheat; canoeists paddling through the Rocky Mountains; Jean Chretien grabbing a protestor by the throat; etc.
CANDIDATE
(voice over)
Canada. It’s a great country.
EXT. CITY ALLEY – NIGHT
FOLLOW: Two cops chase a dirty homeless man through an alley. The Candidate walks through the alley in the opposite direction. FOLLOW: the Candidate.
CANDIDATE
(to camera)
Sure, Canada has some problems. And, if elected, the [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S PARTY HERE] has a package of policies that will go a long way to solving those problems. Naming problems and solving them – that’s the Canadian way.
EXT. UNDERSIDE OF BRIDGE – NIGHT
A homeless encampment under a bridge. Various vagabonds gather around a fire for warmth, throwing ominous shadows against the concrete behind them. FOLLOW: the Candidate as he walks around the group.
CANDIDATE
(to camera)
If, on the other hand, you look at the policies of the [INSERT NAME OF OPPOSITION PARTY HERE], you will see that they don’t want to solve the problems uppermost on the minds of Canadians. In fact, their policies will only make these problems worse!
A homeless woman grabs the Candidate’s pants leg. He tries to shake her off, but she throws up on him.
HOMELESS WOMAN
Aah…sorry.CANDIDATE
(mutters)
That’s going to leave a stain…
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
A crowded hospital hallway. FOLLOW: the Candidate as he walks past people writhing in pain.
CANDIDATE
Let’s face it: the [INSERT NAME OF OPPOSITION PARTY HERE], doesn’t care about you or your very Canadian concerns. All they care about is rewarding their friends and financial backers.
A man on a gurney turns and throws up on the Candidate’s fashionable suit jacket.
CANDIDATE (CONTINUED)
(mutters)
Why does campaigning have to be so damn messy?
EXT. AIRPORT TARMAC – DAY
The Candidate stands on an airport landing strip. A few feet behind him stand men, women and children of all ages, colours and ethnic backgrounds, carefully chosen to represent the demographics of the country as portrayed by the last census. They appear serious, but concerned. Behind them, storm clouds appear to be encroaching on an otherwise brilliantly glowing sky.
CANDIDATE
On election day, vote for the [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S PARTY HERE]. Unlike the [INSERT NAME OF OPPOSITION PARTY HERE], we promise to give Canadians less of what they don’t want.
INSERT: CLOSE-UP of [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S PARTY HERE] logo.
ANNOUNCER
(voice over)
The [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S PARTY HERE]…CANDIDATE
(voice over)
Giving Canadians less of what they don’t want.
FADE TO BLACK