You and What Universe?
1. Life is More Entertaining the Larger the Screen You Watch It On
Ransom! Where?
Yesthetics Are So Yestherday
This Oscar is Just So Much Background Noise
TV or Not TV
Family Not Glad it Asked
Fake News, Real Tsuris
Technology’s Fetal Attraction
Licence Reviewed: The Emergence of 360 Degree Verite
Lives Unlived: Alvin Bigbootie
2. This Will Get Personal
That Is a Kapitan Idea, Sir! A Kapitan Idea, Indeed!
The Vagina Condo Hogs
You Bite It, You Buy It
If You Like the Service, Please Remember to Leave a Tip
Smart Car, Dumb Luck
3. Promise Made, Promise Wept
4. If She Hadn’t Burped, We Would Never Have Known
5. Eightball, Behind the
6. The Chucka Chucka Wooga Wooga of Progress
7. So Close, So What the Ferk‽
8. You and What Universe?
9. And the Band Preyed On…
Afterforward: What I Should Have Said at the Beginning of the Book
That’s When Everything Went Cow-shaped
FORWARD
What the Heck Do You Know About Chaos?
1. The Sleep of Reason Produces…Vesampuccerian Politics
Chaos President is In His Element
And, He’s Burning the Soup! He’s Burning the Soup!
Where Laws Go to Die
Chances of a Sane Immigration Policy Are RE: Moat
Death Wish 2020
It’s Anything But the Economy, Stupid!
Uber Mention
Putting the Sham Back in Shameful
A Monumental Mistake
This May be the Most Important Video of the Year!
The Most Important Video…
The Most…Uhh…Vid…Something of the…Something…?
2. The Sleep of Reason Produces…The Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse
Get Down Wit Yer Own Bad The Sickness!
Covid Oops
Don’t Give Yourself a PPE Cut
Good Fences Make For Good Prisons
Helloooooo, Nursing Home!
Testing…Testing…Is This Medical System On?
It’s a Miracle!*
Disinfecting is the Best Sunlight
The McDruhitmumpf Administration’s School Reopening Algorithm
A Uniquely Vesampuccerian Psychosis:
The Grey Lining in the Dark Cloud
Blame Canada! (When There’s No One Left to Blame)
Star Stuff Maps
The Hangnail Pandemic
3. The Sleep of Reason Produces…Friends Like These
His Name is Kevin: A Tale of Bravery Under Enemy Fire
Out of Pocket, Off the Wall
Where Every Sentence Ends In Death
The Court of Public Opinion No Longer in Sesspoolpandemic
Flyinnthuointmeanting in the Face of Precedent
All Day Suckers
Death Screwed Over
Say It Loud, Say It Proud, Boys
He Barely Knew Ye
4. The Sleep of Reason Produces…Good Advice for People Who Make Bad Decisions
Ask the Tech Answer Guy…For the Children!
Ask Amritsar About Modern Schoolyard Taunts
Ask the Tech Answer Guy to Get to the Cheatin’ Heart of the Matter
Ask Amritsar: Desperate Times Call for Desperate Makeup Regimens
Ask the Biz Whiz About the Tax Onna Me
Ask the Tech Answer Guy: What Colour is Your Para Shirt?
Ask Amritsar to Swear By It
Ask the Tech Answer Guy How to Calculate the Optimal Spitting Distance
Ask Amritsar…For the Children!
5. The Sleep of Reason Produces…Lenny (The Fourth Horseman)
Pandemics ‘r’ Virus:
The Alternate Reality News Service Interview
It’s Ronald McDruhitmumpf’s World – We Just Die In It
There’s No Penalty For Piling On In This Game
That’s When Everything Went Cow-shaped
Live Free and Die!
There Are None So Blind as Those Who Will Not CDC
The Convention of the Red Death
I Kid You Not
President Has an Own Goal Moment
What Goes Around Makes You Come Around
Profile in Discourage
COVID Morbidities
6. The Sleep of Reason Produces…Idiocratic Politics
The Hallmark of Democracy: Smooth Transition of Power
President Declares War on Veterans
In The Eternal Struggle Between Dog And Postal Delivery Person,
The Winner May Be President Ronald McDruhitmumpf
The American Action on Gun Violence Algorithm
All Vesampuccerians Lost, No Debate
You Can Choose Your Nose
And You Can Choose Your Friends
But You Can’t…
Nobody Puts Vesampucceri in a Box!
The Franchise So Nice, You Should Exercise it Twice…
Mime is Murder
7. The Sleep of Reason produces…Monsters
The 2020 End of Democracy Algorithm
A Brief History of Trenchcoat Commerce
Bland Bombshell
Whose Article Is It, Anyway?
Don’t Have a Cow, Iran!
McDruhitmumpf Administration a Dildough Buzzkill
Government By Mad Lib, #127: What the Ferking ____________ (NOUN) of a ___________ (NOUN)!
Conventional Wisdumb
The Slap Heard Across the Multiverse
Volumes Volume a Killer
The City on the Hill is Burning More Than Shining These Days
Squatting on the Fourth Estate
Ukraine on the Brain
The White Stuff
As Long As You’ve Got Your Health, You – Oh!
Winner Takes Aww!
A Better Place We All Wish We Could Go To
CODA