Buying 65,000 Tents Much More Realistic
“CITY HALL
Plan targets 65,000 rental homes
$36-billion strategy hinges on federal, provincial funding”
– Toronto Star
And To His Complete Surprise, Spas At Ontario Place Don’t Help
“Premier calls on BoC to hold interest rates
Ford tells governor families, businesses are “struggling to make ends meet”
– Toronto Star
“Not While There Are Still Three Month Old Terrorists Running Arou – Crawling Around The Place!”
“Israel rejects calls for ceasefire”
– Toronto Star
Under The Circumstances, Complaint Seems Almost Quaint
“Abuse claims spur review by IDF
Palestinian activist says he was brutally assaulted by Israeli settlers in West Bank”
– Toronto Star
Halloween Killjoy!
“Money matters shouldn’t be a scary subject”
– Toronto Star
Are You Kidding? The End Of The World Won’t Stop The Killing!
“Ceasefire can stop the killing”
– Toronto Star
I Thought That’s What 4-Chan Was For
“We should call Hamas what it is”
– Toronto Star
Any Excuse To Drink Port In A Storm
“N.Y.C. drying out after record-breaking rain”
– Toronto Star
And The Poorer Students Died Off…For Some Inexplicable Reason…
“Reading, math scores improve slightly
Results were better because students were in class regularly, Ontario’s education minister says”
– Toronto Star
The Seven Day Always-on-call Week Will Last Forever!
“The Five-Day Office Week Is Not Coming Back”
– New York Times
Making The Time Period Squirm Self-consciously
“Can’t A Three Month Period Get Some Privacy, Here?” It Angrily Demands
“Economists will be watching Q3 closely”
– Toronto Star
When He Heard The News, Maxime Bernier’s Head Exploded
Oddly, Nobody In The People’s Party Of Canada Was Willing To Clean Up The Mess
“GROW CANADA
The population is rising at its fastest pace since the 1950s, StatCan reports – a boom fuelled almost entirely by immigration”
– Toronto Star
Doesn’t Want To “Disappoint People…Again. They…They Can Be Really Mean About It…”
“Metrolinx won’t set opening date”
– Toronto Star
COP28 Explains Why World Suffers From COPD
“UAE holds oil conference ahead of UN climate talks
COP28 head says companies ‘central to the solution'”
– Toronto Star
By Quitting?
“Canada doomed if Trudeau doesn’t quit”
– Toronto Star
“Trudeau can still become a truly great PM”
– Toronto Star
Firing Officer “Mad Monk” McGurk Was A Good First Step
“Peel police used less force in 2022”
– Toronto Star
You Underestimate The Power Of Laughter, Sir
“LRT guessing game no laughing matter”
– Toronto Star
“Government Can’t Help It If Citizens Keep Eating Donuts,” Premier Declares. “Mmm…Donuts – Be Right Back…”
“Ontarians aren’t in ‘better shape’ as Ford declared”
– Toronto Star
Casual Gaming Apps Aren’t Always Easy To Play
“Migrant Crush Challenges Italy”
– New York Times
Citizens Advised To Wear Rain Slickers To Avoid Getting Drenched In Right Wing Bloviation Storm
“Report predicts output to hit new heights”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely! When Parents Kick Trans Children Out Of The House, Governments Must Act
“Governments can’t ignore parents’ wishes”
– Toronto Star
Want To Create Real Chaos?
Legislate Like An American
“Want to create real wealth?
Think like an American”
– Toronto Star
Expect Them To Do The Wrong Thing
It’s Kind Of Their Brand
“Hezbollah faces a complicated choice”
– Toronto Star
Not Eating Baked Beans Probably A Good Start
“Working toward zero emissions”
– Toronto Star
Doing What A Majority Of People Want Is Popular – You’d Think A Populist Would Know That…
“Greenbelt flip-flop helps Ford in poll
Majority of Ontarians surveyed think cancelling land swap was ‘right decision'”
– Toronto Star
He Had A Temper Tantrum And Had To Be Given A Time Out In His Room –
Why Is Getting In Touch With Your Inner Child A Good Thing, Again?
“Dream world
I got in touch with my inner child at the Fairmont Queen Elizabeth’s majestic Barbie suite”
– Toronto Star
If It Will Bring Peace To The Middle East, I Will Consider Giving Up A Life Of Abstinence…
“You really have to try these new shockingly good whites under $20”
– Toronto Star
1. Stop Everybody From Getting Their News From Facebook And TwitterX
2. Hope For The Best
“How to rebuild trust in the news”
– Toronto Star
That’s What We’ve Been Saying For Deca –
Oh, Wait. We Don’t Have The Same Definition Of Civilian, Do We?
That Could Make Things…Complicated…
“There’s nothing complicated about massacre of civilians”
– Toronto Star