You Don’t Get A Second Chance To Write A First Headline, Or There Would Be Fewer Demons With Six Pack Abs
“Relishing a rare second chance to perfect a first novel
“Caroline Adderson exercised some of her demons when given the opportunity to rewrite ‘history'”
– Toronto Star
Says Their Generals Are Moping Around The Knesset Because They’re Not Going To Get The Fall War They Were So Looking Forward To
“Israel denounces Iran nuclear deal”
– Globe and Mail
Perhaps You Could Start With Longer Headlines?
“Building Attention Span”
– New York Times
Okay, Not Exactly Proust, But These Are Times Of Diminished Expectations
“Beach vacations and grilled sardines
The smell of the fish transports this Star reporter back to her trips to the Portugese coast as a kid”
– Toronto Star
Vote Cancer, Or Waste Five Years Of Chemotherapy
“Vote yes, or waste five years of austerity”
– Globe and Mail
Refuses To Eat Any Eggs That Have Run For Public Office
“Brad Pitt calls for ethical eggs”
– Toronto Star
Only Because The Atmosphere Is Starting To Tensify
(Although This Use Of English May Be Hard To Defensify)
“The (in)visibility of the modern mosque
As the GTA continues to densify, the aesthetics of traditional prayer spaces are evolving to suit the needs of urban life, Fatima Syed writes”
– Globe and Mail
A Good Place To Start Would Be To Stop Doing Mean Things
“She wants to shed ‘mean girl’ label”
– Toronto Sun
Especially When The Party I Favour Is Not Doing Well At The Polls
“Summer isn’t time to predict which way the winds blow”
– Globe and Mail
But, But, But The Federal Government Has Stewarded The Economy So Well!
“Canada likely in recession, TD says”
– Toronto Star
What A Surprise!
Sun Rises Monday Morning, Conrad Black Speaks Out
“Postmedia reports deep losses, Conrad Black speaks out”
– Globe and Mail
Consensus Is A Wonderful Thing
“Oliver stands firm on rosy outlook”
– Toronto Star
“IMF cuts Canadian outlook”
– Globe and Mail
Canada Post Would Find A Way To Ruin It
“What if community mailboxes could be fun?”
– Toronto Star
1980
“When did being ‘nice’ become a liability?”
– Globe and Mail
Talk About Locking The Barn Door After The Horse Has Been Sold For Glue!
“Wants a ring before 4th child”
– Toronto Sun
If You Can’t, I’d Be Willing To Try…
“Can I retie with a $2-million portfolio?”
– Globe and Mail
Giving Them Jobs Would Be A Good Start
“Business leaders striving to solve youth job crisis”
– Toronto Star
But, Who Has Time For Complex Thoughts These Days?
“Sure, emojis are everywhere and can be fun in our 140-character world, but we still need actual words to express complex thoughts”
– Globe and Mail
I’m Sorry, What Were You Saying?
I Was Watching The World Economy Tapdance On The Edge Of Oblivion
“Hard not to get swept up in the jangling ephemera”
– Toronto Star headline about the Pan Am Games
Writes The Man With The Full-time Job
“Part-time work is not an evil that is harming social well-being”
– Globe and Mail
That’s Using Their…But, Perhaps It Would Be For The Best If We Didn’t Run That Joke Into The Ground…
“Tilley hats headed for new ownership”
– Toronto Star
The Computer Age? Security Organizations Obviously Can’t Hack It!
“Chinese hackers had ‘administrator privileges’ into U.S. government computer networks”
– Globe and Mail
“Hackers target feds in protest over terror laws”
– Toronto Star
“Russians hacked Obama’s emails”
– Toronto Star
“Companies unprepared for cyberattacks, report finds”
– Globe and Mail
“Walmart looks into possible credit card data breach”
– Globe and Mail
“Commons employees targeted by hackers”
– Toronto Star
“Hacker grabs personal data of 50,000 Uber drivers in U.S.”
– Toronto Star
“Business info accessed in Rogers breach”
– Toronto Star
“Anonymous claims attack on RCMP website”
– Globe and Mail
“Education Ministry website shut down
E-mail addresses obtained via ‘unauthorized access'”
– Globe and Mail
“U.S. orders probe into IRS security breach
Organized crime syndicates were able to steal personal info from 100,000 taxpayers”
– Toronto Star
Poll Finds Majority In Eurozone Think Canadians Should Mind Their Own Business
“Poll finds majority in Canada think Greece should leave euro”
– Globe and Mail
Did I Pick Up A Newspaper From 2004 By Accident?
“Military escalates bombing in Iraq”
– Toronto Star
Unfortunately, It’s By Somebody Who Doesn’t Speak English
“Western downturn called an ‘opportunity'”
– Globe and Mail
Oh, No! This Is Going To Be The Final Nail In The Coffin Of The Canadian Economy!
“Iran sanctions still in play, allaying oil market fears”
– Globe and Mail
“Iran set to resume crude exports
Observers suggest oil deliveries could return to 900,000 barrels a day ‘faster than expectations'”
– Toronto Star
Oh. Well, When You Put It That Way, Things Don’t Seem So Bad
“Iran set to resume crude exports
Observers suggest oil deliveries could return to 900,000 barrels a day ‘faster than expectations'”
– Toronto Star
“Iran sanctions still in play, allaying oil market fears”
– Globe and Mail