Buy Them Each Cars
If They’re Still Infants, They’ll Grow Into Them
“How can I convince stepkids divorce was not my fault?”
– Toronto Star
I Know, Right?
I’d Much Prefer The Random Dingoes
“Oh so we’re doing random video chat again?”
– Toronto Star
You’re The Sort Of Newspaper That Would Ask How The Doctor Was Doing In The Middle Of Your Heart By-pass Surgery, Aren’t You?
“PANDEMIC: ONE YEAR LATER
Ottawa mounted a massive response to the COVID-19 crisis and the economic damage it has caused. Was it good enough?”
– Toronto Star
Not If The Province Has Any Say In The Matter, It Won’t!
“Will Toronto’s strategy work?”
– Toronto Star
Do They Have Donald Trump’s Tax Returns?
If They Don’t, How Big Can Their Secrets Be?
“Will Harry and Meghan reveal big secrets?”
– Toronto Star
The Anti-Sikh Racism Would Have Remained Local?
“What if…Singh had stayed at Queen’s Park?”
– Toronto Star
Those COVID Relief Bills Aren’t Going To Pay For Themselves!
“Why is this not the time to end arms sales to the Saudis?”
– Toronto Star
To Not Be Dicks
“What are our sperm telling us?”
– New York Times
Not Unless You’re Willing To Bit Off More Than You Can Eschew
“Should you invest in bitcoin?”
– Toronto Star
So Far, I Haven’t Seen Any Of It, So I Would Say…No?
“Is he putting his money in all the right places?”
– Toronto Star
I’m Thinking…Get It?
“When it comes to vaccination, what’s a senior to do?”
– Toronto Star
If It Bleeds, It Leads
“Will Conservatives reopen abortion debate?”
– Toronto Star
Absolutely! I’m Not Going To Let Something Like The Fact That I Have Three Left Feet Or I Don’t Know What TikTok Is (I Thought It Was A Breath Mint Until Somebody Convinced Me Otherwise) Get In The Way Of My Native Can-do-itness!
“So you think you can learn to dance like a TikTok star?”
– Toronto Star
Not Convening A Panel Of Male Experts To Study The Question Would Be A Good Start
“How do we kick-start a ‘she-covery’?”
– Toronto Star
The Gamestop Effect
“Why are clean-energy stocks in free fall?”
– Toronto Star
Family Dynasty Solidarity
“Why does Trudeau still back the monarchy?”
– Toronto Star
Faster Than A Speeding Ballot
“How fast is Ontario vaccinating people?”
– Toronto Star
Doug Ford Created A Ministry Of Hypnosis (Then Used it To Convince The Province To Forget About It)
“How are the Conservatives more popular than ever?”
– Toronto Star
To Get Back At That Two-timing Bastard AND Get A Great Tan? Baby, I Was Born Ready!
“Revenge travel is coming. Are you ready?”
– Toronto Star
Kenney? Or, Kent, He?
“Does UCP unrest spell trouble for Jason Kenney?”
– Toronto Star
This Train Wreck Is More Popular Than Ever – Does That Answer Your Question?
“Is ‘OK’ good enough for Ontarians?”
– Toronto Star
Cloning Is A Popular Literary Option These Days
“I want ‘more’ from him. What should I do?”
– Toronto Star
That’s Kind Of The Definition
“Is fashion changing?”
– Toronto Star
Making Way For Nkwame Would Be Better
“As royals reel, shouldn’t Charles make way for William?”
– Toronto Star
We Have So Much Land, We Don’t Need Much Imagination
“Can’t our democracy think any bigger?”
– Toronto Star
Yes. It’s Called Salad
“Does truly delicious plant-based cheese exist?”
– Toronto Star
Surely, The Good Gord Will Provide
“Is it time to end Catholic school funding?”
– Toronto Star
Trees Will Breath Easier…As Will The Planet…
“What if Books Disappear?”
– New York Times
Sorry, But I’m NOT That Kind Of Advice Columnist!
“What’s the best way to help my depressed boyfriend?”
– Toronto Star
The Abyssedarians?
“Who needs the monarchy?”
– Toronto Star
What Are The Odds?
“Will coverage of the effects of gambling addiction continue?”
– Toronto Star
Spring In Ireland, But With More Oompah Bands
“What will spring in Toronto look like?”
– Toronto Star
Maybe, But Isn’t The Horizon Closer?
“Is COVID-19’s end still beyond the horizon?”
– Toronto Star
If They’re Still Legislating By Train, They Deserve It!
“Could new trade agreement with the U.S. derail Ottawa’s plans to regulate social media giants?”
– Toronto Star
For Gord’s Sake, Will Nobody Think Of The Adults‽
“The Divorce Act has grown up – will we?”
– Toronto Star
The Local Newspaper
“Who gets ‘cancelled’ when racism is called out?”
– Toronto Star
More Like A Low-powered Chocolate Mousse Squid Tart
“Novel of ideas or high-octane thriller?”
– Toronto Star