To Treat Them As You Would Your Own Children
He Could Be Drearily Predictable That Way
“What would Jesus say about treatment of Indigenous kids?”
– Toronto Star
With Short-term Solutions
“How do parties stack up on long-term care?”
– Toronto Star
It Depends On How Guilty I Feel About What I Did In The Previous 24 Hours
“How many showers do you need in a day?”
– Toronto Star
We Made A Wrong Turn At Albuquerque, And Everything Else Just Followed…
“‘How the living hell did it get this bad?'”
– Toronto Star
You’ll Have To Be More Specific: This Morning Or This Afternoon?
The Former President Has A Busy Social Schedule
“A Foreign Agent With Trump?”
– New York Times
…But Nary A Place To Live In.
Affordable Housing Is History – Does That Count?
“Condos, condos everywhere.
What about the city’s history?”
– Toronto Star
We’ll Have To Activate The Antipane Pipeline, And Nobody Wants That!
“What happens if Michigan shuts off Ontario’s propane pipeline?”
– Toronto Star
Peter Escavalier (Of The Scarborough Escavaliers)
“A grocery list of suffering, but who has it the worst?”
– Toronto Star
Cassandra Said It Syndrome
“CSIS foresaw Taliban victory.
Why were plans not in place?”
– Toronto Star
Siegfried And Roy
“Who do you trust to tame the fourth wave?”
– Toronto Star
His Ignition Was Acting Up, And It Took The Mechanic Weeks To Diagnose The Problem
“What took Ford so long on vaccines?”
– Toronto Star
Sounds Like A Bit Of A Wash, Really
“Will voters punish Liberals for opportunistic election?”
– Toronto Star
“Will Kenney cost O’Toole votes beyond Alberta?”
– Toronto Star
Considering She Was Buried Six Months Ago, That could Get Messy
“Is it time to give grandma a hug?”
– Toronto Star
Avoid Parks
“Husband wants to swing; I don’t. What should I do?”
– Toronto Star
Bobble-head Egyptian God action Figures
“Jubilant Taliban. Stunned U.S. What Comes Next?”
– New York Times
You Can Call Them Al
“Taliban Return. Is Qaeda Next?”
– New York Times
A Jealous Empire Loyalist
“Who shot John Heslop, friend to Ontario rebels?”
– Toronto Star
If It Really Wanted To Stay Relevant, It Would Have Had To Have Debuted Three Weeks Ago
“Acorn TV key to AMC’s pivot to new age of streaming
Will its boutique style of programming be enough to stay relevant?”
– Toronto Star
Do Bears Shit In The Bed Pans?
“After Having Surgery, Will Pope Slow Down?”
– New York Times
Give Me A Few Minutes To Drink About That Question Before Answering
“Is Ontario losing millions on high-end Calgary wine auctions?”
– Toronto Star
Public Group Macrame
“What’s next after legalizing single-event betting?”
– Toronto Star
No, Who’s On First
Does Nobody Know The Classics Any More?
“Who’s on third when Biggio returns to lineup?”
– Toronto Star
It’s Accompanied By Murder Hornets
“Why does fourth wave surge sting so much?”
– Toronto Star
Of Course Not – Why Would A Deadly Virus Change Human Nature?
“Can long-distance romance work in a pandemic?”
– Toronto Star
Do You Know Something About The Vice President’s Temper That We Don’t?
“Can I pull off pearls like Kamala?”
– Toronto Star
No, But It Does Rhyme And It Has A Great Beat That You Can Die To
“Will History Repeat in Afghanistan?”
– New York Times
Not Necessarily
Your Obsession With It, On The Other Hand…
“Is my daughter’s blue hair sign of mental health issue?”
– Toronto Star
As Long As It Carries Hundred Dollar Bills To Alberta, We Do…Apparently
“Do we need a pipeline as climate changes ravish B.C.?”
– Toronto Star
It Depends On How Many Times It Has Been Rescheduled
“Is appointment real change?”
– Toronto Star
How Much Would An In Control Amount Be‽
“Is fear-mongering in beauty industry out of control?”
– Toronto Star
A Fear Factor, Perhaps
“Will premiers be a factor in the next election?”
– Toronto Star
Probably Better Than It Could During The Marriage
“Can a friendship exist after getting a divorce?”
– Toronto Star
It’s Not Intolerable (Although It Can Be Insufferable)
“Is it intolerable atheism or just a reasonable point of view?”
– Toronto Star
They Haven’t Mastered The Weird Filters On Zoom
“Wait, how does everyone have bushy eyebrows now?”
– Toronto Star
As Realistic As A Polar Bear Winning LeMans
As Realistic As Your Jockey Shorts Turning Into A Rose Garden
As Realistic As A Die-hard Trump Supporter
Obviously, So Realistic You Would Need An Electron Microscope To Detect Trace Amounts Of Optimism
“How realistic is any of this?”
– Toronto Star