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There Are Some Questions Headlines Were Never Meant To Answer…

To Treat Them As You Would Your Own Children
He Could Be Drearily Predictable That Way


“What would Jesus say about treatment of Indigenous kids?”

Toronto Star


With Short-term Solutions


“How do parties stack up on long-term care?”

Toronto Star


It Depends On How Guilty I Feel About What I Did In The Previous 24 Hours


“How many showers do you need in a day?”

Toronto Star


We Made A Wrong Turn At Albuquerque, And Everything Else Just Followed…


“‘How the living hell did it get this bad?'”

Toronto Star


You’ll Have To Be More Specific: This Morning Or This Afternoon?
The Former President Has A Busy Social Schedule


“A Foreign Agent With Trump?”

New York Times


…But Nary A Place To Live In.
Affordable Housing Is History – Does That Count?


“Condos, condos everywhere.
What about the city’s history?”

Toronto Star


We’ll Have To Activate The Antipane Pipeline, And Nobody Wants That!


“What happens if Michigan shuts off Ontario’s propane pipeline?”

Toronto Star


Peter Escavalier (Of The Scarborough Escavaliers)


“A grocery list of suffering, but who has it the worst?”

Toronto Star


Cassandra Said It Syndrome


“CSIS foresaw Taliban victory.
Why were plans not in place?”

Toronto Star


Siegfried And Roy


“Who do you trust to tame the fourth wave?”

Toronto Star


His Ignition Was Acting Up, And It Took The Mechanic Weeks To Diagnose The Problem


“What took Ford so long on vaccines?”

Toronto Star


Sounds Like A Bit Of A Wash, Really


“Will voters punish Liberals for opportunistic election?”

Toronto Star

“Will Kenney cost O’Toole votes beyond Alberta?”


Toronto Star


Considering She Was Buried Six Months Ago, That could Get Messy


“Is it time to give grandma a hug?”

Toronto Star


Avoid Parks


“Husband wants to swing; I don’t. What should I do?”

Toronto Star


Bobble-head Egyptian God action Figures


“Jubilant Taliban. Stunned U.S. What Comes Next?”

New York Times


You Can Call Them Al


“Taliban Return. Is Qaeda Next?”

New York Times


A Jealous Empire Loyalist


“Who shot John Heslop, friend to Ontario rebels?”

Toronto Star


If It Really Wanted To Stay Relevant, It Would Have Had To Have Debuted Three Weeks Ago


“Acorn TV key to AMC’s pivot to new age of streaming
Will its boutique style of programming be enough to stay relevant?”

Toronto Star


Do Bears Shit In The Bed Pans?


“After Having Surgery, Will Pope Slow Down?”

New York Times


Give Me A Few Minutes To Drink About That Question Before Answering


“Is Ontario losing millions on high-end Calgary wine auctions?”

Toronto Star


Public Group Macrame


“What’s next after legalizing single-event betting?”

Toronto Star


No, Who’s On First
Does Nobody Know The Classics Any More?


“Who’s on third when Biggio returns to lineup?”

Toronto Star


It’s Accompanied By Murder Hornets


“Why does fourth wave surge sting so much?”

Toronto Star


Of Course Not – Why Would A Deadly Virus Change Human Nature?


“Can long-distance romance work in a pandemic?”

Toronto Star


Do You Know Something About The Vice President’s Temper That We Don’t?


“Can I pull off pearls like Kamala?”

Toronto Star


No, But It Does Rhyme And It Has A Great Beat That You Can Die To


“Will History Repeat in Afghanistan?”

New York Times


Not Necessarily
Your Obsession With It, On The Other Hand…


“Is my daughter’s blue hair sign of mental health issue?”

Toronto Star


As Long As It Carries Hundred Dollar Bills To Alberta, We Do…Apparently


“Do we need a pipeline as climate changes ravish B.C.?”

Toronto Star


It Depends On How Many Times It Has Been Rescheduled


“Is appointment real change?”

Toronto Star


How Much Would An In Control Amount Be‽


“Is fear-mongering in beauty industry out of control?”

Toronto Star


A Fear Factor, Perhaps


“Will premiers be a factor in the next election?”

Toronto Star


Probably Better Than It Could During The Marriage


“Can a friendship exist after getting a divorce?”

Toronto Star


It’s Not Intolerable (Although It Can Be Insufferable)


“Is it intolerable atheism or just a reasonable point of view?”

Toronto Star


They Haven’t Mastered The Weird Filters On Zoom


“Wait, how does everyone have bushy eyebrows now?”

Toronto Star


As Realistic As A Polar Bear Winning LeMans
As Realistic As Your Jockey Shorts Turning Into A Rose Garden
As Realistic As A Die-hard Trump Supporter
Obviously, So Realistic You Would Need An Electron Microscope To Detect Trace Amounts Of Optimism


“How realistic is any of this?”

Toronto Star


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