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The Madman’s Guide To Thriving In Economic Chaos

Book 14 Cover

We know things are bad. Worse than bad. The economy is taking a short nosedive off a long pier. But, your goal hasn’t changed: you want your company to make so much money that you will be able to afford your daughter’s yacht next summer. How best to accomplish this?

In crazy times, perhaps we need advice from a crazy source. And, we think you’ll agree, it doesn’t get much crazier than The Joker, Gotham City’s premier villain. If you look past his unspeakable behaviour and unsavoury looks, we think you’ll find that there is much wisdom in what he says, wisdom that can be directly applied to running your business.

I believe what doesn’t kill you simply makes you stranger.

Of course, your first goal has to be surviving, but what happens to your company if it does? The first, and perhaps most important step in thriving in times of economic turmoil is to recognize that usual business methods will not work. If you try to function as “business as usual,” your company will not be able to survive in the long run.

Your thinking must get stranger. Practices that you wouldn’t have considered during normal times, practices that may be repugnant to you (and, for a true leader, no practice should ever be completely off the table no matter how repugnant) must now be discussed in all seriousness with your management team. Who knows? You might even like the new direction your company is taking and stay with it when business gets better. You’d be amazed at how often the bizarre becomes the new normal.

Never start with the head…victim gets fuzzy.

Typically, businesses will attack their rivals through their core strength. In times of economic uncertainty, however, the normal rules of competition don’t apply. As profits turn to losses, attacking your competitor will leech vital resources you will need just to keep your business alive, and, the more central the market is to his business, the more resources you are likely to need to challenge him. If you want to maintain the illusion of competition, nibble at the margins, but now is not the time to go for the throat.

We hope that’s clear.

You. Complete. Me.

In the worst case, you may have to consider a merger with a rival, perhaps unthinkable before the downturn began. This is not a matter of finding efficiencies (although feel as free as possible to be as ruthless as possible with as many of your employees as possible – some things never change). It is a matter of pooling resources for mutual survival.

If you have been contemplating a merger, but were worried that politicians wouldn’t allow it, this is the perfect time to negotiate concessions from the government. While the government’s attention is focused on companies that are too big to fail, your best strategy is to become one of them.

You have nothing. Nothing to threaten me with.

Make sure your compensation is locked in no matter what financial state the company is in. This is not a matter of personal greed. Many bad decisions have been made by executives who have been threatened by boards with cuts in their compensation. By inoculating yourself from this danger, you are ensuring that your decisions will be earnest expressions of what is best for the company, not the object of financial blackmail.

I want my phone call.

Many economists have touted the benefits of new communications technologies. However, they require substantial capital investments, expensive reorganizations and ongoing maintenance costs, and if they do pay off in savings, they are not likely to appear on your balance sheet for many years. Stick with your existing technology infrastructure until the economy gets better.

Unless you run a communications tech company, in which case, our condolences.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan, Harvey? I don’t have a plan. The mob has plans. The cops have plans… I hate plans. Yours, theirs, everyone’s. Maroni has plans. Gordon has plans. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I’m not a schemer. I show schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.

Throw all of your business plans out the window – in times of economic chaos, they will be useless to you. You know how a marble flies this way and that in a tornado? Be the marble. Let the market forces tornado take you where it will. Learn to make decisions on the fly, and, when they don’t help, abandon them and try something else.

When you are asked what your plan is (there’s one on every Board of Directors!), shrug and explain that the company is a victim of forces beyond anybody’s control. Don’t try to explain about the marble in the tornado – some things only executives can truly understand.

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