INTRODUCTION
Who Are You? And, Why Are You Reading This?
1. Let’s Get “About the Author” Out Of the Way So We Can Have Some Fun!
LonCon3: Travelling Hopefully
Just Another Day in My Life
Ad Astra, Per of Aces
My Night as a Cyborg
Oh! – I Seem to Have Blacked Out, There – Did I Miss Anything?
It’s a (Klingon) Wrap!
Doing The Can*Con
I Have Two Words for Chutzpah!
Ad Astra…Up Periscope!
My Life as a Cyborg
LonCon3: Arriving
2. Say What?
You’re Such A Quote Hoard!
Quotes Float Yer Boat (In a Remote Moat!)
Quotes is…Concerned About Its International Reputation
Ask Not For Whom The Quotes Troll…
NOTE: Don’t Gloat About the Vote Quote
Quotes Would Take You More Seriously If You Would Just…No, Sorry, Not Even Then
Quotes Took the Road Less Traveled, And That Made All the Difference
Quotes Went ‘Ahuntin’ to See What They Would Find
If Quotes Got Into a Fight With Captain Kirk, Who Would Win?
Quotes Are Sick of File Permission Errors!
Quotes Are No Joke!
Quotes Are All She Wrote
3. This Is Not Open For Discussion, Young Lady!
Big DICK Radio Confronts Bigger Dick Radio
Big DICK Radio – The Next Generation
Success – It Could happen To You
A Policeman Never Forgets
Big DICK Encounters the Big Stick
The New and Improved Impaler
Be True to Your Studio
Big DICK Radio Becomes the Last Bastion of Rock (Except for All of the Others…)
The Cat in the Hat Came Back
When the Big DICK Turns…
Karma’s a Bitch
4. Headlines, O Headlines, Wherefore Art Thou Headlines?
Headlines Can’t Believe You Brought THAT Up!
Headlines Take the Cake – AND EAT IT, TOO!
Hadlins Fl Th Squz
Once Upon a Headline…
Would Headline To You?
Headlines Bobbed When They Should Have Weaved
Headlines Filled the Awkward Silence With an Even More Awkward Attempt at Humour
Headlines, O Headlines, Wherefore Art Thou Headlines?
Headlines are Not Prepared to Take Responsibility for the Consequences
Headlines Would Tell You if Your Fly was Undone (Unless You’d Been a Dick, In Which Case You’d Be on Your Own)
Headlines Got, Like, All in My Grill, So I Had to Beat Them Down, Man
Headlines Couldn’t Be Bothered To Write Their Own Headline
Headlines Are a Big Fan of Ron Burgundy (Will Farrell, Not so Much)
Headlines Schmedlines! – We Just Want To Party!
Sorry, But Headlines Don’t Trust You Enough to Share Their Pain With You
Headlines Coulda Been Somebody – They Coulda Been a Contendah
Headlines are the Envy of Fashionistas Everywhere
Headlines Aren’t Psyched About the New Avengers Movie…But They Could Be…
First, Headlines Take Manhattan, Then They Take Berlin
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Headlines Didn’t Ask And Doesn’t Want To Know!
Headlines Went BERAP BERAP!
Headlines Wanted to Apologize for Justin Bieber, But Didn’t Know Where to Begin
Headlines Knew the Joke Was Racist, But They Couldn’t Help Laugh at it Anyway
5. The Short Cut Is The Deepest
Making a Full ReCovery
If Twitter Be the Answer, What is the Musical Question?
We’re Just Tweeting in the Dark
Life is Long, Twitter is Short
A Few of My Favourite Things is a Hit With the Kids!
Literary Lapses You Can Only Read on Twitter
Puns We Love to Hate Month Lives on in Our Hearts and Minds (And Twitter)!
This Few of My Favourite Things Thing on Twitter is Getting Out of Hand
Suuuuure, I’ll Cover Your Debts…
Twitter Puns are the Lowest Form of Humour Except for All the Others
Your Morning Smile Simile Semitic Semtex
A Few of my Favourite Things Will Live Forever on Twitter!
6. We Don’t Know What To Do With This Stuff – Here – You Do Something With It!
The Moment We Lost Our Shit Was the Moment the Terrorists Won
The App of My Eye
Deadlines…Deadheads…It’s Everywhere in the Culture!
Another Glorious Day
The Hell of it Was…
Bigots Without Borders #609
Zen and the Art of Finessing Free Speech
Frequently Unasked Questions About the War on Satire
Aunt Renie Does Toronto
Zen and the Art of Minority Pandering
Algorithm for Eradicating a Public Broadcaster
Reality Need Not App-ly
Dead? Yes. Grateful? Not So Much…
Political Victory? It’s in the Bag (of Crazy)…
Frequently Unasked Questions About the Freedom to do What Your Government Lets You
The Academic Knowledge Development Algorithm
If Crazy Was A Renewable Resource…
Death of a Soupy Sales Man
7. If You’ll Get Your Pencils Out, The Test Can Begin…
What the Heck Do You Know? About Things That Are None of Your Business!
What the Heck do You Know? Would Have Done Better in the Miss Canada Pageant if it Hadn’t Tripped Over its Own Dress
What the Heck Do You Know? Saw The Eagles When They Were Just The Hatchlings
What the Heck Do You Know? Misses Bauhaus
What the Heck do You Know? Doesn’t Vote – It Only Encourages Them
What the Heck Do You Know? Preferred the Thin White Duke, Frankly
What the Heck Do You Know? Is Proud of Scotland Even if it Isn’t Exactly Sure Why
What the Heck Do You Know? Hopes it Lives Long Enough to Find Out
What the Heck Do You Know? Wouldn’t Eat That if it Were You…