Once upon a time there was a lovely little town called Spinnett,
Which came under an unprovoked attack.
And all the boys and girls and men and women and dogs and cats who lived in it
Wanted their peace of mind back.
Mayor Sanchez got on the Tube and said,
“Of all the problems
That fill us with dread
We must face the worst – Grabblegobblems!”
Mother and Father put their hands over their mouths
To have a name put to their worst fears,
And, concerned about the innocence of youth,
Covered little Timmy and Bobby-Jo’s ears.
So the children didn’t hear
About the new rules in effect:
How everybody would submit to The Ears,
And nobody could object.
When Father explained it, Timmy didn’t understand
Why Mayor Sanchez had to listen
To every person in the land.
Was there something Timmy was missing?
Father looked at Timmy with a little fright:
“Don’t say anything bad about the Ears
In light of day or darkest night
They protect us and so deserve our cheers.
“There is no reason to be glum.
Just remember that they hate our freedom
And if we don’t act swiftly, my son,
The Grabblegobblems will have won.”
Now, you might have thought that listening in
On every conversation would have been enough
To keep out the very poison
That the good folks of Spinnett would snuff.
However, Mayor Sanchez knew better.
He knew evil plots abounded,
And if the law was observed to the letter
The city’s death knell would be sounded.
So, with another Mayoral decree,
The Eyes were deployed
At secret places around the city
Where evildoers might be employed.
And, if the Eyes caught Miss Fizzlebruster’s innocent habit
Of ordering but not paying for The Frog and Ruby’s tea,
Regular people tsked and said to themselves, “Dagnabit,
That’s the price we pay to be free!”
Timmy saw in the slow drip, drip
Of innuendo and lack of trust
And the corrosive nature of gossip
The social bonds of his community bust.
Father looked at Timmy with sadness:
“Don’t say anything bad about the Eyes.
That would be a form of madness,
That would be most unwise.
.
“There is no reason to be glum.
Just remember that they hate our freedom
And if we don’t act swiftly, my son.
The Grabblegobblems will have won.”
“The people will sue us if we remain idle,”
The Mayor said to himself,
“But to be seen to subvert the laws would be suicidal,
So we’ll have to proceed by stealth.”
Mayor Sanchez, by executive order,
Rounded up anybody whose name was foreign
And built a large wall along the Spinnett/Spunnett border
So the city’s enemies couldn’t pour in.
Then, he authorized the use of the Freeblegluse
An interrogation tool so abhorrent
That, had the citizens of Spinnett known of its use,
Their anger towards him would have been a raging torrent.
Then, on one very unhappy day
Mister Wilson disappeared and never returned.
It was because of his funny name, they say –
Any explanations beyond that were spurned.
Father told Timmy that you can’t take the past back
But, you had to admit that since the Mayor had gotten his way
Spinnett had not come under attack,
And the Grabblegobblems had been kept at bay.
Timmy looked at Father with sadness:
“Do you not see the effects of the Eyes and the Ears?
The government is fomenting a kind of madness
Playing us against each other by exploiting our fears.
“There is a reason to be glum
We have given up all of our freedom
Do you not see, father, what we have done?
By enslaving ourselves, the Grabblegobblems have won.”