Thank you, Yesenia Sneed, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, Canada stopped flying flags at half mast in order to acknowledge its genocidal actions against its indigenous peoples so that a couple of days later it would be able to return the flags to half mast in order to commemorate the lives of people who fought in wars to defend a government engaged in genocidal actions against its indigenous peoples.
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If The Smith’s Are Ever Tempted To Rerecord “Panic,” Morrissey Has A New Chorus…
“Hang Mike Pence! Hang Mike Pence! Hang Mike Pence!”
I don’t actually have anything against the former Vice President of the United States. I’m sure he’s a very nice fellow, in the same way that Wonderbread makes a very nice sandwich. However, according to former President Donald Trump, it’s the sort of thing you can say when you’re angry. And like the Hulk, the main quality of satirists is that we are always angry.
Now, you might have thought that if somebody had been loyal to you for four years, somebody had laughed at your every bad joke and defended your every bad policy, you might cut them some slack for not doing something you wanted them to do. Even if it was stealing an election. However, former President Trump is a “transactional” person, which means he has the memory of a rabid mongoose and “What have you done for me lately?” tattooed on his buttocks.
When I think about it, though, this isn’t really a comment on the former President’s behaviour. Psychopaths gonna psycho. It’s more an indictment of the former Vice President. How empty of any human emotion other than a lust for power do you have to be to stand by somebody who can so casually dismiss a mob determined to hang you?
That’s some Basket of Deplorables grade shit right there.
SOURCE: Karl’s Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Wouldn’t That Just Be An Ipple?
“Fancy a tipple, but without the alcohol?”
– Toronto Star
SOURCE: Billy-Bob’s International House O’ Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1395327128]
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Regular Fox News Viewers Didn’t Think Anything Of The Splice
“I Was Once Videoing My Dog Rango Chasing Pigeons In The Park When I Caught Lief Erickson Complaining About The Food On His Ship!” One Commented. “Modern Cell Phones Do Some Freaky Shit!”
There was something in the video of President Biden that suggested that Fox News wasn’t airing his speech quite the way he gave it. It may have been how the tall, grey-haired gentleman suddenly became a short man with black hair. Or it may have been because the image changed from colour to black and white. Or it may have been the way the speech progressed:
“I have adopted the attitude of the great Negro…pitcher es hat deshalb auch nicht England den Kontinent kultiviert, sondern Splitter germanischen Volkstums unseres Kontinents sind als Angelsachsen und Normannen auf diese Insel gezogen und haben ihr eine Entwicklung ermöglicht, die sicher einmalig ist, his name was Satchel Paige.”
When pressed, Fox News admitted that it had altered the video, placing President Biden’s speech on the difficulty of getting his infrastructure bill passed side by side with a speech made by Adolf Hitler on Germany’s declaration of war against the United States. A Fox News spokesperson reportedly claimed “time constraints” were the reason for the clip being played incorrectly the first time.
That could be the case. When news breaks, networks are under pressure to get it right. Still, it would not explain why Fox anchor Rachel Campos Duffy introduced the video by saying: “Oh oh! There’s a real furor over Democrat President Joe Biden’s latest gaffe!”
SOURCE: Wryerson Journalism Review
[http://www.xuniversity.ca/jr/online/biden-hitler1.html]
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Audiences Need To Be Told How To Respond To TV Shows? It Is To Laugh
The comedy laugh track has died after a long, lingering illness. A long illness. Really long. Like, overstaying its welcome by decades long.
Born in 1950 to Charles Douglass and Red Skelton, the laugh track began its life nobly augmenting audience laughter that was too feeble to be picked up by studio mics and bridging the soundtracks of different camera shots of the same scene with different audience laughter levels. However, drunk with its power to get audiences laughing sympathetically, the laugh track quickly made a nuisance of itself, publicly raising its voice to intolerable levels and laughing in inappropriate places.
The passing of the laugh track will be mourned by hack writers and desperate Hollywood sitcom producers.
SOURCE: Obits ‘R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Come Off It, Ted! Big Bird Was Advising Children To Get Vaccinated When You Were Wasting Your Youth At Harvard Law School!
Senator Ted Cruz flipped Big Bird the big bird the other day. Did you hear about that? Said that Big Bird advising kids to get vaccinated against COVID was “government propaganda.” Government propaganda. Hunh! That loveable doofus Big Bird couldn’t spout government propaganda if you rammed a tape recorder playing it on a loop down his throat!
Now, if Cruz had accused Oscar, the Grouch…
SOURCE: Jimmy Kippel – Live! (On Tape Delay)
[http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kippel-live-ish/blogs/monologue]
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Canadian Defence Attorneys In Awe Of American Judges
“They Really Know How To Hold A Monkey Trial Down There!” One Admired
The trial of Kyle Rittenhouse, accused of shooting three Black Lives Matter protesters, two of whom died, was thrown into chaos when the defence demanded a mistrial. The issue was whether the prosecution should be allowed to ask Rittenhouse such questions as “What…is your name?”, “What…is your quest?” and “What…is your favourite colour?”
Circuit Judge Bruce Schroeder had already ruled that the prosecution could not call the victims of the attack “victims;” he suggested that they should be called, “worthless anti-white scum whose removal from the planet would be a blessing to decent folk everywhere, if you ask me.” There was also the moment in the trial when Judge Schroeder got so angry that he threw his gavel at prosecutor Thomas Binger.
“You wanna trade places‽” the judge screamed when his gavel turned out not to be a boomerang. “You wanna be the judge, now‽ Just – how dare – bang! bang! bungle bang! – you give that back to me right now, or I will hold you in contempt! I’m not going to let any smartass prosecutor get in the way of the defendant getting a fair trial!”
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2021/ALLPOLITICS/11/10/reps.main/index.html]
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